Dear Chazan Who Takes 57 Minutes to Daven Shacharis on a Tuesday,

I am writing to inform you that while I appreciate you being the shaliach tzibur for the amud, you are taking way too long to daven. I would like to direct my complaint to Tuesday's shacharis specifically, since today is Tuesday, and it is the day your sluggish pace is most apparent to us proliterian minyan goers.

 I know you are a long standing member of the shul and you have particularly great kavana when adding the the addition of 'oy' to words like “oy, shma koleinu' which I myself appreciate, but to be honest and fair, my boss doesn't care.  I'm unfortunately not talking about the guy upstairs, because I'm sure he appreciates it, I'm talking about the guy in the big office with the window across from my cubicle who pays my salary. I, like you, pray everyday — but my prayers these days seem to focus more on praying that you finish at a reasonable time so that my boss doesn't see me walk in at 9:25AM  again — now it does not take me an hour to do this and it shouldn't take you that long either.

It's a tear-cha D'Tzibur that is literally bringing me – not to mention the other 9 guys waiting for you to finish your shmoneh esray – to tears.

Monday or Thursday with the v'hu rachum and laining I understand, but Tuesday's got nothing extra other than an extra SHORT Hayom, so finishing within 30 minutes should be like you, a chiyuv. I can only sneak out of minyan, when people are bending their heads for tachnun, for so long.

May all our tefillos be like your new davening style, and be answered quickly and speedily in our days (especially on Tuesday)!

Thanks, 
The guy in the back