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Category: Top 10
Top Ten Halachic Questions for a Jewish Pirate
by
seth Posted: 09-19-2006(Viewed 8141 times)
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In honor of September 19th being "Talk Like a Pirate Day"
10. If you have a hook instead of a hand, which arm do you put teffillin on?
9. Does your treasure map show how far the eruv extends?
8. How long do you wait till after capturing a ship to put up a mezzuzah in the cabin?
7. If Kalhua doesnt have a hashgacha, what rum do you make kiddush on?
6. Is owning a parrot assur cause it may cause you to speak loshon hora?
5. Do you take maaser on an unlocked treasure chest? worse, what if there is chas vshalom, chometz in there!?
4. Do you cover your eye patch with your hand when you say Shema?
3. Are you able to carry on the plank on shabbos? If your parrot is on your shoulder, is that carrying?
2. Is your pirate hat a zachor l'hamentashen? Can you wear a leather boot on your peg leg on Yom Kippur?
1. You have a wild beard, drink a lot, and always say "Ay-yay": let's face it: aren't all pirates just Chassidim?
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Bangin' Reader Comments:
| From: |
eshevin |
| Date: |
09-20-2006 |
| Rating: |
10 |
| Comments: |
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| From: |
more shailyas |
| Date: |
09-19-2006 |
| Rating: |
10 |
| Comments: |
- What type of kinyan do you make on you buried treasure?
- If you fly with a black flag and skull, what shevet are you representing?
- If you are Zevulun (ships), who is the Yissachar that you are supporting?
- Are booty and spoils assur if the conquered ship was worshipping avodah zarah?
- If you find an eshes yafas toar on a ship, must she shave her head for you?
- How come noach was able to let on all types of animals on his teva but you only allow weasels and parrots
- Do women need to wear a bandana if they are married?
- Where are the kosher restaurants in the carribean?
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| From: |
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| Date: |
09-24-2006 |
| Rating: |
10 |
| Comments: |
So, what are the answers? |
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| From: |
gersch |
| Date: |
10-19-2006 |
| Rating: |
10 |
| Comments: |
Very sharp. Loved this list.
As for the person who asked about kosher restaurants in the Caribbean...that's what we have Chabad for! |
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| From: |
Yosf, Riverside, CA |
| Date: |
08-18-2008 |
| Rating: |
10 |
| Comments: |
Hey your article is delightful and I enjoyed it greatly. I had no clue that there existed Jewish pirates. Although it does stand to make sense, if I'm a Jew in Spain in 1492 and I just got kicked out of the country, hay what the heck I'll set sail to another one with with that one guy Columbus. It had connected the two dates, that is the "expulsion" and the "discovery" and thank for the entertaining enlightenment. As always G-d bless... |
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| Average Rating: | 10 out of 10 |
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