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Category: BLOG - We're Not Making This Up!

It's Official: Miami is ASSUR!!

by Trixie Tristar Posted: 02-14-2007(Viewed 6073 times)

Now, not only is the internet assur, but Miami, Florida is assur too!

Even if you're going expressly to visit your elderly parents who live there.  send your wife instead.  How much longer before you won't be able to leave your house or communicate with the outside world at all.  Are these rabbi's aware of 900 numbers??   oh, the pritzus!   how can they allow the use of telephones?

You people wantonly using the Internet to buy tickets to Miami: may your souls be saved.









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Bangin' Reader Comments:


From: um.. translation?
Date: 02-14-2007
Rating: 10
Comments:

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From: Mo, Monsey
Date: 02-15-2007
Rating: 6
Comments:

Rough summary - because there are bathers and swimmers in the Miami Beach area, including the traditionally Jewish neighborhood at Collins and 41st Street, it is forbidden for any Haredi Jew to go there, ever, period.

If you have elderly parents there, you still can't go. Period, end of story.

If you have elderly parents who need help, send a woman.

That's my main problem - why can Haredi women look at the tanned, muscled bodies of near-naked men, but Haredi men can't look at the tanned, tight bodies of near-naked women?

And the answer is, duh. Men have sperm. Women don't. Silly Mo.


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From: miami beach
Date: 02-16-2007
Rating: 10
Comments:

i agree with the above

i cant tell you how often the hairs on the shtrimels stand erect as the chasid goes to shul on shabbos. All these rebb's who came for the winter should be ashamed of themselv'es for such wanton actions. this include's the satmar who spent weeks at the beach each winter.


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From: Shmuel, USA
Date: 02-19-2007
Rating: 10
Comments:

May I take a stab at a full, and fairly literal, translation? Words in brackets are mine to avoid an overly stilted translation. Here goes:

"A Proclamation from the greatest and most senior members of our rabbis, may G-d send them long life,

Behold, the report [we have received] is not good: that charedi men have given themselves [halachic] permission to travel to Miami Beach in the winter time, a city which, in general, is filled with immodesty and lust. Lately the situation has become that even a large portion of the neighborhood next to the ocean, where charedi men go, has also become a place filled with immodesty and lust. (It has been the case for many years that it is forbidden by law to swim in the ocean in that neighborhood, and in a part of Collins Street, next to the beach in that neighborhood,  are to be found many hotels and [in the past] the majority of the population was Jewish. Today the majority of the population there is not Jewish, and the whole area has changed into a beach with lifeguards [the English word is used there] and the beach is filled with men and women swimming together, G-d forgive them, and this has resulted in, understandably, great immodesty.) And this situation has spread, as a result, to all the streets near the ocean, and especially 41st Street, the main street, where all the stores are located.

And it is a horrific desecration of G-d's name that Jews who wear charedi garb should go to a place like that.

The words of the Talmud are well known (BT Baba Basra 57b) regarding walking around in such places--the Talmud establishes the following: "If there is another way to walk [and he still persists in walking around in that bad place], he is deemed a rasha/evil man." The Rashbam explains: "[He is deemed an evil man] even if he averts his eyes, because he never should have come close to sin, rather he was obliged to distance himself from sin, since it is established in our law that one must distance oneself from immoral behavior." Those who travel there, even for a short time, walk dozens of times on that street and it is practically impossible to be vigilant and avert one's eyes.

Therefore, we now come, in the strength of our Holy Torah, to establish the following edicts:

1. It is forbidden for anyone who is not elderly to travel to Miami Beach, even to visit one's parents, because such a visit does not serve as a fulfillment of the Biblical commandment of "Honor thy father and mother" since it is commandment fulfilled through sin;

2.  In the event one's parents are ill and live there and they desperately need help, a woman, not a man,should travel there, if such help can be rendered by a woman. In the event a woman cannot travel there, but only a man can, it is forbidden to travel to touristy places, like the Bird Park [?] and the aquarium, as well as [certain] streets in the city, since there are many streets there which are full of immodesty and a man must absolutely not go there.

3.It is absolutely forbidden on everyone, and even upon the elderly, to live in apartments whose windows face unto the beach.

And one must be aware that even for elderly people who need to go to Miami Beach, [any allowance offered] is only a post-facto situation, and especially [one may not go to] streets close to the sea.

And one who needs [to go there] should make an effort to go to places which don't have beachfront areas, like North Miami Beach and places similar to that.

And may G-d help that, in the merit of the observance of the parameters of holiness, we may be worthy to be blessed with good health, a shining light [of protection] from above and with all good things, and may we be saved speedily with an everlasting salvation.

And we hereby sign,

The Vishnitzer Rebbe        The Skulener Rebbe         

R. Moshe Green, Rosh Yeshiva of the Monsey Yeshiva

The Pupa Rebbe                  The Av Bes Din of Karlsberg

(the signatures above are placed in the order of their receipt; further signatures are expected to be received) 

3.


---------------------------------------------------------------
From: New Joizy
Date: 02-19-2007
Rating: 10
Comments: Ain't that a bitch (bitsch ble"z)..

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Daniel, Yerevan, Armenia
Date: 02-20-2007
Rating: 9
Comments: Whew!  At least that's been dealt with.  With Miami out, let's make sure the Rebbes don't hear about Santa Monica, Cancun, Curacao, Nice, Eilat, Cape Town, Mombasa, Goa, Phuket or Sydney.  We need somewhere to go on our next vacation!

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Baltimore, MD
Date: 02-21-2007
Rating: 1
Comments:

So let's make fun of the Orthodox, OK?  Any of you people criticizing the Rabbonim have any serious amount of Torah knowlege? Or are all of your grandkids going to be goyim, mamzerim and/or eat pork daily?  Who in your family will be around in 2-3 generations to care?  On the other hand, those who listen to their Rabbis, even when they say something not easily understood or accepted, have children that see, hear and learn.  That is the preservation of the Jewish people - the leaders, who are the eyes and ears and guardians of the Torah.  You think that Temple-era Rabbis (ie Prophets) were popular? They were murdered!  You think in the last 2000 years that Rabbis have made wildly popular rulings?  Think again.

I know attorneys, accountants, doctors and many other highly intelligent individuals who have left lucrative jobs to "sit and learn" in a Yeshiva.  What is THAT all about?  THINK PEOPLE - you are the real sheep, not the Orthodox.


---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Miami Beach
Date: 02-21-2007
Rating: 10
Comments:
What I wonder is that all these supposed leaders place their energies there are far more important things that need attention in the Jewish Community such as tackling the plight of Agunos or the disolving of the rabinical dynesties I think with such leaders we have no future that can lead the Jewish Orthodox communities 

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Toronto, Ontario
Date: 02-27-2007
Rating: 7
Comments: What I find amazing is that there is a Rabbi named Rabbi "Carlsberg" and he doesn't like to party!?   

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Average Rating:8.1111111111111 out of 10





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