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Category: Top 10

Top Ten Signs Your Rabbi was Recently Indicted

by The Weekly Bang Staff Posted: 07-24-2009(Viewed 3867 times)

10  Suddenly takes on minhag to wear hat on face
9    Synagogue Charity Auction now includes "Kidney"
8    Unless you work in criminal defense, you ain't getting Shlishi
7   Rebbetzin is suddenly on Jdate
6   Afternoon Halacha Shiur now entitled: "Ankle Monitors on Shabbat"
5   Will be spending the rest of the summer "upstate"
4   Sermon comes in form of an Affadavit
3   Keeps tying everything to an obscure "Josef in Jail" metaphor
2   Pretty sure he just referred to Bernie Madoff as "Shlita"
1   He's still wearing Black & White, only this time, it's all stripes



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Bangin' Reader Comments:


From:
Date: 07-24-2009
Rating: 10
Comments: I would add, "His cupboards are full of AppleJack cereal" Great list

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From: yomtov
Date: 07-27-2009
Rating: 10
Comments: Continuously mentions a need for a "sabbatical" year Begins celebrating Lubavitcher rebbe being free from prison holidays/no tachnun Says there is an need for for a Scholar in Residence...in Rikers Mentions his next pulpit he'll be serving the public for 10 to 15 Refers to his vacation as parole Asks you to lain your bar mitzvah parsha he taught you as part of his character witness testimony Tefillin/tallis black and white combo match wardrobe Instead of calling out the page numbers, he asks u to shred them Makes annual joke 'get out of jail' free card and it's not Yom Kippur Refers to shul president as warden

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Average Rating:10 out of 10





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