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Category: Forwards that Bang

Random Thoughts of People Our Age

by Aaron Karo www.Ruminations.com Posted: 08-26-2009(Viewed 1616324 times)

fowarded to bangitout.com probably about 35 times: Written by the hysterical Aaron Karo at his website RUMINATIONS.com

1. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
2. More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me.
3. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
4. I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they've invented the lighter?
5. Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.
6. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
7. The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase "Regards" again.
8. Do you remember when you were a kid playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.
9. There is a great need for sarcasm font.
10.Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the fck was going on when I first saw it.
11.I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it.
12.How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
13.I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
14.I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
15.The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.
16.A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to the spread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it.
17.Was learning cursive really necessary?
18.Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".
19.I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
20.Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.
21.Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".
22.How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?
23.Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)...ummm...Goonies"
24.What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?
25.While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.
26.MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
27.Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
28.I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.
29.Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
30.I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
31.Bad decisions make good stories
32.Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!
33.Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every year?
34.If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.
35.Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem....
36.You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.
37.Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.
38.There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to fall after leaning your chair back a little too far.
39.I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
40.I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't watching this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?'
41.I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damnit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?
42.I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
43.When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
44.I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.
45.Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...
46.As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
47.Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
48.I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
49.I think that if, years down the road when I'm trying to have a kid, I find out that I'm sterile, most of my disappointment will stem from the fact that I was not aware of my condition in college.
50.Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it.
51.Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...
52.It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the link takes me to a video instead of text.
53.I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.
54.I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than with Kay.
55.The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimate d that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There's nothing like being made to feel like a fat bastard before dinner.

please check out Aaron Karo at Ruminations.com


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Bangin' Reader Comments:


From: California
Date: 08-28-2009
Rating: 10
Comments: That was so funny, so true...Thanks!!

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Chapel Hill, NC
Date: 08-31-2009
Rating: 10
Comments: I would like to give credit where credit is due, Ruminations.com is a hilarious website!

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Chapel Hill, NC
Date: 09-11-2009
Rating: 9
Comments:

Quality stuff there...  makes me want to share one of my favorite games to paly in the office.  When totally random solicitors call in asking to speak to my boss, and drop a bunch of BS trying to get through, I like to play a little game called rodeo.

I say he's just finishing up with another call but would likely LOVE to talk to them, and ask them to please hold.  Then, every 20 seconds I pick back up and tell them he'll just be a minute longer...  HANG ON, because I did check with him and he absolutely DOES want to speak to them about this important, confidential, personal business matter...  My personal record is keeping one of them on the line for 22 minutes and 13 seconds.  Fun stuff.


---------------------------------------------------------------
From: jcd / germany
Date: 09-11-2009
Rating: 10
Comments: that was fun. enclosed: my answers: 1. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option. >>>> maybe 2. More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me. >>>> true 3. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong. >>>> sometimes, usually not (sometimes I sort of enjoy being wrong) 4. I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they've invented the lighter? >>>> maybe 5. Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk. >>>> true. many times. actually: always. 6. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger. >>>> no. 7. The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase "Regards" again. >>>> never happened to me, but I'm looking forward to making that mistake one day. 8. Do you remember when you were a kid playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft. >>>> no, but I guess I wold've figured it out, too. 9. There is a great need for sarcasm font. nope. If they can't figure it out from the context they're... special. Regards, Felix. 10. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the fck was going on when I first saw it. >>>> true, but strangely I can only think of an example where the "younger me" was just about a year younger: "eXistenZ" (David Cronenberg) -- I remember seeing it in a theater when it came out and being underwhelmed to the point of boredom. About a year later I bought the DVD (bargain bin, just because it was so cheap (DVDs were really expensive in 2000)), watched it again and realized, that this is one of the funniest (and most clever) SciFi-flics ever made. Great actors, too. Ever since eXistenZ has been one of my top-five movies ever. 11. I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it. >>>> extremely true, but not quite in this way: I don't feel the need to prove that I "get it" _more_ than anyone else, but rather so much hope that everyone "gets it" that I can hardly control myself pausing the DVD to explain why this or that scene is so great so *exeryone* gets it (which would, obviously, ruin the movie for them). So I just sit there, casting nervous glances to the left and the right, hoping -- nay: praying that they "get it", and, thus, ruining the movie for myself. 12. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet? >>>> AFAIK there is a way. It's actually rather clever and easy. I just can't remember how it goes and usually can't be bothered to fire up Google when I'd need it. 13. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in. >>>> mmmh. sometimes. 14. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die. >>>> nice idea, I'll make it part of my will. 15. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text. >>>> no 16. A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to the spread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it. >>>> what? 17. Was learning cursive really necessary? >>>> definitely! 18. Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say". >>>> meh. whatever. 19. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger. >>>> nope. 20. Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying. >>>> doing the what on the wha... ah... ok, I see. No, actually, it's mildly irritating, but I believe in statistical clustering or whatever it's called. unlikely, but iprobable? yeah, so: possibly. 21. Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart". >>>> never heard that sentence. If I did i'd reconsider my acquaintances. 22. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said? >>>> 3 23. Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)...ummm...Goonies" >>>> nope. 24. What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other? >>>> the people who gave me an art-grant would probably feel they got their moneys' worth. 25. While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart. >>>> no. seriously, no. I hate Mario Kart. 26. MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood. >>>> I 'm sure I have no idea what you're talking about. 27. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died. >>>> true 28. I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water. >>>> no. 29. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever. >>>> bollocks 30. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired. >>>> no 31. Bad decisions make good stories >>>> true 32. Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do! >>>> I avoid Facebook. One of the reasons is that I'd probably have to answer "true". 33. Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every year? >>>> true. It's also called: "getting older". 34. If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible. >>>> meh. They never were icons of *my* childhood, so I don't care. 35. Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem.... >>>> :) 36. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day. >>>> true 37. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection. >>>> aaah.... well... no, actually. There's too many incredibly insane-fun media-gadgets to be bought that I'd ignore the HD-revolution. Oh, and the movies sometimes look slightly better, too. 38. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to fall after leaning your chair back a little too far. >>>> nope. actually that's kind of a fun moment (and hardly registers on the absolute "Oh-Shit-!-Scale"). 39. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to. >>>> noob! If you didn't open an incremental copy you deserve whatever bad thing Word inflicts upon you. 40. I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't watching this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?' >>>> true. 41. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damnit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away? >>>> not really 42. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste. >>>> no. 43. When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking. dont think it ever happened, but yes, I would be. >>>> dont't remember this ever happening, but yes: I would be. 44. I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes. >>>> complete opposite. 45. Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles... >>>> yes, I hate bad stand-up comedy lines too, why do you ask? 46. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists. >>>> no. I hate bad drivers, pedestrians sometimes aggravate me, but at heart I'll always be a cyclist (even if I haven't gotten my fat ass on a bike in months). 47. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is. >>>> true 48. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call. >>>> never happened, but yes: I would do such a thing if needs be. 49. I think that if, years down the road when I'm trying to have a kid, I find out that I'm sterile, most of my disappointment will stem from the fact that I was not aware of my condition in college. >>>> no. 50. Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it. >>>> true. 51. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time... >>>> I wish! 52. It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the link takes me to a video instead of text. >>>> Super-True!!!!! 53. I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit. >>>> My guess: (sometimes, when the're bored) they're laughing their asses off watching people change their behaviour towards "Good Citizen" as soon as they realize there's the police in sight. 54. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than with Kay. >>>> The what with the what? Oh, it's a beer joke. Yeah, whatever. 55. The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimated that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There's nothing like being made to feel like a fat bastard before dinner. >>>> No. Might happen one day, though, if I keep up at this rate. :(

---------------------------------------------------------------
From:
Date: 09-11-2009
Rating: 10
Comments: 56.) I hate it when people say WTF out loud... the whole reason for abbreviations is to reduce the number of syllables that one would exert effort to pronounce. WTF has more syllables than 'what the fuck'... WTF?

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Noelle USA
Date: 09-11-2009
Rating: 10
Comments: I have at least 12 numbers in my phone that I keep so I don't answer when they call.  I don't feel the least bit guilty about it, either!

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: John.
Date: 09-11-2009
Rating: 10
Comments: <script>alert('roflhi');</script>

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: KNOW, oNe, SeLf!
Date: 09-16-2009
Rating: 10
Comments: I'm long since finished fighting others. I have realized I am only fighting myself. I see little sense in the term "myself;" I don't remeber purchasing Self. Forget becoming a donation of organs- leave me at the thrift store for the next aspiring dreamer.

---------------------------------------------------------------
From:
Date: 09-16-2009
Rating: 10
Comments: Don't you hate it when you look everywhere for your keys and their in your hand already?

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Tuomas, Finland
Date: 09-17-2009
Rating: 10
Comments: Thanks for the laughs!

---------------------------------------------------------------
From:
Date: 09-17-2009
Rating: 10
Comments: I often wish life had ctrl+z

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: the world
Date: 09-18-2009
Rating: 10
Comments: stolen from this web site:
http://www.ruminations.com/site/index.php?sort=mostgourmet&range=0

---------------------------------------------------------------
From:
Date: 09-18-2009
Rating: 10
Comments: nice. steal other websites content and draw people to your own. You clearly lifted this off rumination and posted its random thoughts title it. they are not random at all. they are all lifted off one site

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Leslie, Berkeley, CA
Date: 09-18-2009
Rating: 10
Comments: This was like the best thing ever. About 90% of these statements were so true that i just laughed. you are a genius

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Jessica; El Paso, TX
Date: 09-20-2009
Rating: 10
Comments: Number 55 was posted on FML not too long ago. Who ripped out who?

---------------------------------------------------------------
From:
Date: 09-21-2009
Rating: 10
Comments: or when you're searching frantically for your phone while your talking on it

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Anderson, IN
Date: 09-21-2009
Rating: 10
Comments: That was seriously hilarious. I swear I agreed with at least 53 out of the 55...if not all 55. Wow

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Kram, Webster, NY
Date: 09-22-2009
Rating: 10
Comments: Funny and so very shallow.

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Bertie, Denham springs,La
Date: 09-28-2009
Rating: 10
Comments: Those were GREAT, A comedian could make millions on them...lol (for real)

---------------------------------------------------------------
From:
Date: 10-06-2009
Rating: 10
Comments: Sarcasm font...

Add a wink before and after what you want to say...

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=sarcasm%20typeset

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Aidan, Alexandria, VA
Date: 10-07-2009
Rating: 10
Comments: 56. When did school systems start catching on that Spanish would become more and more necessary? Don't you think it's sad if a 4-year-old knows more Spanish than you?

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Shira, Teaneck, NJ
Date: 10-07-2009
Rating: 10
Comments: tl;dr

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Hawkeye, San Diego, CA
Date: 10-07-2009
Rating: 10
Comments: You bastards!! You stole most of my life!!

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Hawkeye, San Diego, CA
Date: 10-07-2009
Rating: 10
Comments: You bastards!! You stole most of my life!!

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Brittney, Ladue, MO
Date: 10-07-2009
Rating: 10
Comments: LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL :)

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Cubicle-land, Eatontown, NJ
Date: 10-08-2009
Rating: 10
Comments:

"Bad decisions make good stories"

So true. So very, very true.

This list got better and better as it went on


---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Chad, Austin, Texas
Date: 10-08-2009
Rating: 10
Comments:

I've had 90% of those thoughts and will have the other 10% today.

Retards,

Chad


---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Los, prisoncity
Date: 10-08-2009
Rating: 10
Comments:

no1self, that pitying shit is dumb, kill yourself and be done with the moping

jcd, nobody cares about your nonfunny-normally rambling. so when funny stuff IS around, shut up. and yes a lot of this is lifted, but fun none the less


---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Denver, CO
Date: 10-08-2009
Rating: 8
Comments:

"Today's kids are soft."

Nah... Gen Y's are soft. Ask any Gen X'er.


---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Rich, Columbus, OH
Date: 10-08-2009
Rating: 10
Comments: Sometimes when I'm reading a book, magazine, or other paper media; I come across something interesting I'd like to learn more about.  I often find myself trying to mentally select it so I can copy/paste it into my browser's search bar.

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Elijah, Sacramento CA
Date: 10-08-2009
Rating: 10
Comments:

Kind of funny that people are complaining about this stuff getting ripped off- since at the top it links the host website.

I guess that's another funny thing about our generation, we forget the beginning by the time we're at the end.

But that's probably everyone's problem.


---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Chuck Chicago, IL
Date: 10-10-2009
Rating: 10
Comments: ROFL at the people thinking this was ripped when credit was given to the site they got it from. Do us a favor and don't breed. kthnxbai.

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Amanda, Connecticut
Date: 10-10-2009
Rating: 10
Comments: "Every kiss begins with Kay" is sort of a play on words because kiss begins with the letter K... a friend of mine didn't get that until we had a conversation of similar content. :P

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: justin, toronto
Date: 10-11-2009
Rating: 10
Comments:

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Steve
Date: 10-11-2009
Rating: 10
Comments: Holy shit! I HATE when CNN.com takes me to a video! Well done on a very obscure reference.

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: That Guy, California
Date: 10-21-2009
Rating: 8
Comments:

Funny stuff. 

And JCD... please kill yourself.  Please.  Thanks.


---------------------------------------------------------------
From:
Date: 01-01-2010
Rating: 10
Comments: #12  How to fold a fitted sheet 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YHTyH2nuFAw
Ain't youtube great?!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3cMf54OhAa0

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Respondek, Biloxi, MS
Date: 01-29-2010
Rating: 10
Comments: I hate it... not one thing was funny on this whole blog...

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: San Diego, CA
Date: 05-29-2010
Rating: 10
Comments: wow i laughed at all of these! #32 and 49 were my favs. thanks!

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: california
Date: 06-20-2010
Rating: 8
Comments: regarding 53, yes we do

---------------------------------------------------------------
From:
Date: 06-22-2010
Rating: 10
Comments: Why am I eating If I'm not hungry!?

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Tracy, NY
Date: 06-22-2010
Rating: 10
Comments: I have thought at least half of these in the past MONTH. This is awesome.

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Alex, Boston, MA
Date: 06-23-2010
Rating: 10
Comments: Man speaks the truth.

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Kiros , Chicago
Date: 06-27-2010
Rating: 10
Comments: All good , but i wish it had an avoid Hickvill button too...you have no idea how troublesome red necks can be.

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Kendall, Cleveland OH
Date: 06-30-2010
Rating: 10
Comments: Awesome... I totally related to everything on the list! And, i was literally laughing out loud! Good job whoever made this!!

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Zak
Date: 07-11-2010
Rating: 10
Comments: That was fucking hilarious. I loved the one about having the remote in a room full of people. so true. Thanks for that!

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: CT
Date: 07-16-2010
Rating: 10
Comments: I think we are soulmates...

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Stefani St. Louis, Missouri
Date: 07-21-2010
Rating: 10
Comments: This made my day!  Laughed the entire time!  Thanks


---------------------------------------------------------------
From: NC
Date: 07-25-2010
Rating: 10
Comments: IN RESPONSE TO: Date: 09-16-2009 Rating: 10 Comments: Don't you hate it when you look everywhere for your keys and their in your hand already? Yeah. Just like when you're wearing your glasses and they are already on your head. These were fabulous and viewed almost 250,000 times....

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: NC
Date: 07-25-2010
Rating: 10
Comments: So cool. Thanks back to Hashem. Many blessings in return.

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Betty, ME
Date: 07-30-2010
Rating: 10
Comments:

TOO FANTASTIC!!! And I can relate to each and every thing on this list!!! <3

And I made the above letters SUPER HUGE...just for the fun of it  ^_^


---------------------------------------------------------------
From: dc t.
Date: 08-12-2010
Rating: 10
Comments: you understand me

i always laugh at the security guards standing at the door of music stores. people are stealing music and videos all day long online and there is nothing he can do to stop them



---------------------------------------------------------------
From: David, Provo, UT
Date: 08-19-2010
Rating: 10
Comments: I could relate with everything on this list, it scared me laughing. Everything but the beer stuff, I don't need it to have fun. I'm not a big fan of stand up, but this material is golden, beyond golden, nay, Brilliant.

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Cleveland
Date: 08-22-2010
Rating: 10
Comments: This article is in no way a rip-off. It clearly states in the title that the thoughts were of random people. Also, the very first line gives credit to ruminations. Learn to read.

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: new york
Date: 08-24-2010
Rating: 10
Comments: "1.     I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option."

Quit being a pussy.

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Matthew, Ravenna, OH
Date: 08-24-2010
Rating: 10
Comments: 56.) When listening to music with headphones in a room full of people, I always feel as if I am breathing too loud.

---------------------------------------------------------------
From:
Date: 08-27-2010
Rating: 10
Comments: NTS!!!!! (nothing to say)

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: peter, chicago
Date: 08-30-2010
Rating: 10
Comments: These are hilarious but this guy stole them so in that fact its annoying. I received a forwarded email about 2 years ago with all these exact jokes, totally copy n pasted. But that being said they are all hilarious, just be original people

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: L, New York, NY
Date: 08-31-2010
Rating: 10
Comments: All I could think about while reading this is how big a douchebag you'd have to be to relate to most of them.

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Kirby, Ga
Date: 08-31-2010
Rating: 10
Comments: If I was ever to meet you I think I would have to kiss you. This is the best compilation of common thoughts I have seen. I couldn't help but smile. I love that it was the same (mostly) even being a girl. I could relate to almost every one.

Thanks for the laugh! Hope you come up with some more.



---------------------------------------------------------------
From:
Date: 09-01-2010
Rating: 10
Comments: THIS IS AMAZING

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Kaj, Groningen, Netherlands
Date: 09-02-2010
Rating: 10
Comments: Oh this so funny because this so true

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: B - North Carolina
Date: 09-02-2010
Rating: 10
Comments: HILARIOUS!  Far too many times have I caught myself thinking those exact things.

---------------------------------------------------------------
From:
Date: 09-02-2010
Rating: 10
Comments: Awesome list! I am sending it to my kids!

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Nikki, Michigan
Date: 09-02-2010
Rating: 1
Comments: wow, glad this generation is so self-involved, so narcissistic. Gives me great hope for the future.

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: oklahoma city, OK
Date: 09-03-2010
Rating: 10
Comments: this is me leaving my comment. woop woop. 

---------------------------------------------------------------
From:
Date: 09-03-2010
Rating: 10
Comments: What a turd ball. Time to grow up.

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Natasha, NY
Date: 09-03-2010
Rating: 10
Comments: After reading that, I'm honestly dying to meet you. Incredible.

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Alex, Ridgewood, NJ
Date: 09-05-2010
Rating: 10
Comments: haha this was so true. we should be best friends haha

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Dan, New York
Date: 09-06-2010
Rating: 10
Comments:

this was brilliant. you just made my day, if not my week. if i knew you personally, you'd be one of my best friends (not to sound creepy, i'm just sayin.)


---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Marie, NC
Date: 09-07-2010
Rating: 7
Comments: Geeze Louise People, He gave credit to the other website and why he posted it in the header, how about opening your eyes before pointing the finger.

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: east lansing, MI
Date: 09-07-2010
Rating: 10
Comments: funny and true

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Tim - Shrewsbury, MA
Date: 09-07-2010
Rating: 10
Comments: GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!! LMAO...Too Funny!!!!

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Claire, Oregon
Date: 09-12-2010
Rating: 10
Comments: This is so funny! I think I've fallen in love!

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Leigh, England
Date: 09-09-2010
Rating: 10
Comments: Hilarious and definitly stealing some of these for facebook status'. (sad, but hey, im honest!) one of mine....sometimes i undress so quickly for a shower i jump in and think 'shit! did i leave my socks on!?'

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Akron OH
Date: 09-11-2010
Rating: 10
Comments: 12 is the best. I hadn't realized that nobody knows how to do it, it's not just me. And my pants are always clean

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Bri from NorCal
Date: 09-12-2010
Rating: 10
Comments: This is so funny! The human race is so much more a like than we know!

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Josh, CA
Date: 09-18-2010
Rating: 1
Comments: It's not random if it's craptastic jokes recycled via chain email over and over again. What a fail.

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Atlanta, GA
Date: 09-19-2010
Rating: 10
Comments: I felt as though I had unlocked one of the great secrets of the world when I became so frustrated with automated phone service that I pushed every button ever on my phone and got transferred to  AN ACTUAL PERSON.

---------------------------------------------------------------
From:
Date: 09-23-2010
Rating: 10
Comments: I can attest to point 29.  It really solves many problems

---------------------------------------------------------------
From:
Date: 09-24-2010
Rating: 10
Comments: #54--every Kiss does begin with "K" ...thats what the commercial means by that statement. BUT good try for a beer joke..

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Mayaguez, Puerto Rico
Date: 09-24-2010
Rating: 10
Comments: genius. just genius. and so fuckin true!

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Cal Nor Cal
Date: 09-28-2010
Rating: 2
Comments: Another self centered person who thinks the only people that use the internet are his age

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Tina, Idaho
Date: 10-03-2010
Rating: 1
Comments: This guy sounds like a jerk

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: California
Date: 10-11-2010
Rating: 10
Comments: That's Brilliant! You're so right!!!

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Kit, SA
Date: 10-13-2010
Rating: 10
Comments: This just made my day! So so funny :)

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Liz, Oregon
Date: 10-20-2010
Rating: 10
Comments: Hahaha it's all so true. And although I agree with your Kay jewelers comment, the word 'kiss' will ALWAYS start with 'k' :)

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: michigan
Date: 10-27-2010
Rating: 9
Comments: I keep numbers in my phone so that i have people to prank call

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Milau, Amsterdam
Date: 10-29-2010
Rating: 10
Comments: There's nothing as disappointing as reading this text and realizing more and more after each point that you're not as unique as you always thought. Brilliant!

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Gwen,
Date: 11-04-2010
Rating: 10
Comments:

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Gwen, Austin, TX
Date: 11-04-2010
Rating: 10
Comments: I'm in love with this guy!

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Yes, NC
Date: 11-04-2010
Rating: 10
Comments: Even though I'll never call or hear from "David - Pong Partner."  I still hesitate to delete his number. 

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Kipod, Israel
Date: 11-17-2010
Rating: 10
Comments: till now i thought i was the only one doing #5 lol. good to know im not alone
all the others also true except for #28.. i thought exactly the opposite

---------------------------------------------------------------
From:
Date: 11-17-2010
Rating: 10
Comments:

Haha who is this kid? We think a lot alike.. 


---------------------------------------------------------------
From: ashley, SD, CA
Date: 11-21-2010
Rating: 10
Comments: this is most hilarious thing i have ever read in my life. I cried laughing on a few because it hit home. perfect

---------------------------------------------------------------
From:
Date: 11-28-2010
Rating: 10
Comments:

I'm not even remotely your age.  And you sweet boy are not even remotely a lick different.  The Buddha laughs and I hope you do too.

Carolyn Haun


---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Eric, Reno, Nv
Date: 11-29-2010
Rating: 10
Comments: So true, you don't even know (well obviously you do, but thats not the point :)

---------------------------------------------------------------
From:
Date: 11-30-2010
Rating: 10
Comments: omg i'm so glad i read this- soo funny!

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Aimee
Date: 12-10-2010
Rating: 10
Comments: Too funny! I haven't laughed like that in forever!!

---------------------------------------------------------------
From:
Date: 12-21-2010
Rating: 10
Comments: enjoyed the post im just going to throw this out there every kiss begins with kay refers to K as the letter like the word kiss begins with the letter k its kind of like witty advertisement but i get ur point very funny

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Sakinah - Melbourne, FL
Date: 01-14-2011
Rating: 10
Comments: That was absolutely brilliant! Its all so very true. my fav is: "While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart" I almost slipped into a mini asthma attack from laughing so hard at that one!

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Matt, Grand Rapids, Michigan
Date: 01-19-2011
Rating: 10
Comments: This is awesome. I can relate to nearly every one. so funny.

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Germany
Date: 01-27-2011
Rating: 10
Comments: that was sooooo hilarious and i kinda feel better about myself knowing other people think exactly the same as i do.

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Baltimore, MD
Date: 01-28-2011
Rating: 8
Comments: Since we're on the subject of giving credit where credit is due, maybe you people should look up Deept thoughts by Jack Handy...most of these are his.

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: A, Oregon
Date: 01-28-2011
Rating: 2
Comments: Starts out racist and classist, then gets sexist.  Foolish.

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Meghan, St. Louis, MO
Date: 02-06-2011
Rating: 9
Comments: depends on the cop. my dad does.

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: California
Date: 02-21-2011
Rating: 10
Comments: You got it right when you said, "Highschool girls get sluttier and sluttier every year."

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: JF, Providence, RI
Date: 02-22-2011
Rating: 10
Comments: True even for a french guy :) I liked this simple honesty of yours

---------------------------------------------------------------
From:
Date: 03-27-2011
Rating: 10
Comments: Love it!

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Drew, DE
Date: 04-05-2011
Rating: 10
Comments: This made me laugh (the original meaning of lol, if you will) and it also made me realize that I am incredibly normal. 

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Rachael Pants, TX
Date: 04-05-2011
Rating: 10
Comments:

YOU'RE HILARIOUS.

I'm pretty sure all of these thing have come in my mind multiple times in my teenage life.

Hahaha you're awesome!


---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Noan, Denver, CO
Date: 04-06-2011
Rating: 1
Comments:
"1. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option" Nice going. I'm sure that the people in the projects would like a special traffic light that prevented fearful white kids from driving by and looking scared. Oh wait, they can't afford special traffic lights, BECAUSE IT'S THE GHETTO! They're POOR and DRUG ADDICTED and CRIMINALS! This isn't even an underhanded insult. 
 
"2. More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me." Narcissist much, douchebag?
"3. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong." Maybe not for you, but why don't you ask all those people you can't seem to avoid in the "ghetto," if the worst thing they ever experienced is realizing that they're wrong. What's the matter? Can't take that momment when you get to realize you're a human being after all? You need to feel like GOD all the time? Awwww, poor you!
4. I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they've invented the lighter?" Here's a thought, instead of a lighter, lets go with a ...blow-torch. In fact, if what we're trying to do is light things up, let's go with a large amount of explosives. Ask some of the kinky people I hang with if they're having fun sans alcohol. You might be surprised by the answer... unless you're still hung up from having to realize you were wrong about something, dick. By the way, spoken like a true Frat boy. Enjoy yourself puking in the toilet three hours from now.
"6. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger." I don't. I didn't want to nap when I was a kid because... I WAS A KID! That's what kids do! They want to explore, and run around and do stuff all day long. Now that I'm an adult, well... gee... let's get nostalgic about when I wasn't in the mood for a nap. Your attempt at being clever makes me want to punch you in the face... you know, like the sandbox bully used to WHEN YOU WERE A KID.
"9. There is a great need for sarcasm font." No, actually, there isn't. See, when I'm being sarcastic in a text setting, I make sure that the person I'm taking to has the ability to appreciate and identify my sarcasm. If you are having tro...uble identifing other people's sarcasm it's because either A) they suck at sarcasm, B) they suck at writing, or C) you're too stupid to figure it out. Neither I, nor anybody else, need a button attached to every social network, journal and chatroom to help make the special kids understand when we aren't being completely sincere in our wording.
I could keep going on, but what's the point? 
But just so you can sleep at night:  Yes, there is someone who really is just that angry.  I just HAD to comment.
~n

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: New York, NY
Date: 04-06-2011
Rating: 5
Comments: In response to #21:

Could it be that the reason you think "street smart" is "imaginary smart" is because you are not street smart? I, for one, am both. For example, if a crack-ravaged fiend happens to try to rob you at knifepoint, what would you do? YOU would probably cry like bitch and give him everything that you have in your pockets, whereas I would simply throw some loose change on the ground, because I know it will buy me some time when he goes scrambling to the ground to pick it up (crackheads CANNOT resist spare change!). And then I'd kick him in the face a couple of times. You should stop acting like you're the shit, because your attitude sucks. In fact, if I ever met you at a party, or even on the street, I'd shatter your self-confidence and superhuman ego with a swift punch (or knee, if you would prefer that) to the jaw. Because I'm gangster like that, and you are a scrawny prick who spends way too much time on his computer. I'm surprised you can even talk about meeting new girls, because I'm sure the only "girls" you meet are the ones one your computer screen. Porn was in high school, now it's time to grow up and get REAL pussy. You just got owned.


---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Meg, Australia
Date: 04-08-2011
Rating: 10
Comments: This is Amazing. Pure amazing!

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Everywhere you wish you were
Date: 04-11-2011
Rating: 10
Comments:

It's my turn to be sophmoric. The generation gap is apparent with the different comments posted. Everyone takes out of it what they will, and are entitled to feel whatever they like. I, for one, enjoyed the read. Especially when Denver went apeshit, took it a little to heart, I guess. I can't pass up the chance to say to NY, NY. This is comedy, not, "Get Rich or Die Trying." I'm so gangster. For all the world knows, you're just a prepubescant, nerdy, little four-eyed girl, who gets picked on for those things relentlessly. I have a secret for you, believe it or not, somebody truly loves you for who you are. Even if it is just your mother. So obviously, I found those two posts the funniest on this whole page.

God, I'm so hard. Time to go visit the girlfriend "woody."


---------------------------------------------------------------
From: jackie, boston
Date: 04-16-2011
Rating: 10
Comments: i think only the people who take themselves too seriously are offended, get over yourselves! if you have nothing good to say about this page, blame yourself for reading the whole thing. i enjoyed it :)

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Ryan, Chicago,il
Date: 04-23-2011
Rating: 10
Comments: The best place to unload a fart is the hallway of your high school during passing period. I would unload

---------------------------------------------------------------
From:
Date: 04-28-2011
Rating: 10
Comments:
TO funny.

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Hiedi, St. Louis, MO
Date: 05-02-2011
Rating: 10
Comments: Every comment is something that I have all done! Makes you feel less ridiculous knowing that everyone else does too! Very nice

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: d, hell
Date: 05-03-2011
Rating: 10
Comments: hey there. dont you hate it when people, in all their grammatical wisdom, try to sound smart by using a different variety of there, their or they're than they're used to?! there is no excuse for their ignorance unless they're "special." dont you hate pedantic assholes?!

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Veronica Vice, Toronto
Date: 05-03-2011
Rating: 10
Comments: Lol! that was amazing. im 23 and can relate. does this make me wise or just boring?

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Paul, Baton Rouge, LA
Date: 05-10-2011
Rating: 10
Comments: I've always wondered how every kid knew to blow in the N64 cartridges!!!

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Shay, ATL
Date: 05-18-2011
Rating: 10
Comments:

Dude, this was friggin Hilarious!!! My personal favorite #s were 8, 15, 11, 17, 22, 41 & 42<= man, that is sooooo true!!! ctfu   

Thanks for the laugh, I needed that.


---------------------------------------------------------------
From:
Date: 06-02-2011
Rating: 10
Comments: This was one of the best stumbles I have had all day. So funny and so true.

---------------------------------------------------------------
From:
Date: 06-02-2011
Rating: 10
Comments: So hilarious! You were so right!!!!!

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Milka, Argentina
Date: 06-04-2011
Rating: 10
Comments: I think i'm in love. I couldn't agree more on, well, everything lmao

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Jill, PA
Date: 06-06-2011
Rating: 1
Comments: It pisses me off when I click a link on cnn and it brings me to text instead of a video.

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Crystal, Eau Claire, WI
Date: 06-06-2011
Rating: 7
Comments: 52. It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the link takes me to a video instead of text. ...I thought I was the only one!

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Jennifer, Tucson, AZ
Date: 06-19-2011
Rating: 10
Comments: *LOVE*

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Becki, SD
Date: 07-30-2011
Rating: 10
Comments: No one our age wears watches....that's what cell phones are for.

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Jessica, Seattle, WA
Date: 08-08-2011
Rating: 10
Comments: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCmClylgT-s

---------------------------------------------------------------
From:
Date: 08-10-2011
Rating: 10
Comments: This guy is an idiot...

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Justyn, Anchorage, AK
Date: 08-21-2011
Rating: 10
Comments: WOW! this just made my night. I Laughed so hard, and chould totally relate to alot of this. Great work brotha

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Ben, California
Date: 09-16-2011
Rating: 10
Comments:

THIS GUY IS BRILLIANT I LOVE IT agree with everything


---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Bryan, Sarasota, FL - 28
Date: 11-08-2011
Rating: 10
Comments: That moment when you can't decide if you're more tired or hungry. When you're in an important meeting with your boss and your mouth goes terribly dry and you don't have a glass or bottle of water to drink. You're at the mall and you notice all the tween girls dressed the way they are and say to yourself "I would never let my daughter out of the house like that." Watching a movie you've seen lots of times before but still in suspense of whether or not the good guy will reach the bad guy in time or reach the bomb in time or get nervous when the good guy is in peril. Talking to a friend online and then realizing there's really nothing more to talk about so you just leave the IM screen up even though there's nothing more to be said. Not being sure on the etiquette of when someone IM's the other person and figuring out who has the right to say goodbye first. Realizing how old you are when people born in the 90's can drink legally now & people born in 2000 are now in the double digits.

---------------------------------------------------------------
From:
Date: 05-16-2012
Rating: 10
Comments: http://www.gofundme.com/nwpsw please anything will help out

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: ITALY
Date: 05-28-2012
Rating: 9
Comments: very funny!great job

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Jesse Petrie, Barrie
Date: 04-20-2012
Rating: 5
Comments: So many friends on Facebook, yet no one to confide in. So many awesome things on the Internet, to waste my time with. Im posting this to billions of people across the plant, yet Ill still not feel heard.

---------------------------------------------------------------
From:
Date: 12-26-2012
Rating: 10
Comments: to piggy back on the phone call comment. it's almost equally as bad when you call, they don't answer, and you decide to leave a voice message- then they call back after you've finished the message, you've said all you want to say, but they haven't listened to said message... you then have to repeat everything you just said to their inbox.

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Cymbre, Sandpoint, ID
Date: 01-07-2013
Rating: 10
Comments: Oh my God so relate-able!

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Nathan, Owen Sound, ON
Date: 02-10-2013
Rating: 10
Comments: Holy, there are people like me. It must be a fundamental human function to try to appear like you've come up with somewhere else to go when you turn the other way after realizing you were going the wrong way. GOLD! Thank you.

---------------------------------------------------------------
Average Rating:9.3687943262411 out of 10





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