10. Its only a month after succah-hopping and a Jewish mother would never let her kid be such a schnorrer again so soon.

9. Jewish kids get home too late from Yeshiva and have too much homework to go trick-or-treating. And its a bitch to get out of mishmar.

8. How can you waste perfectly good eggs on a "trick"?

7. Jewish kids would never be satisfied with a "fun-sized" chocolate bar. And what's so damn fun about about 2 bites of chocolate anyway? Remember those huge candy bars you could get at Hershey Park? Now that's what I call fun sized!

6. Orange really does not look good against our Semitic skin.

5. Jews don't eat pumkin. They just don't.
(note: Butternut Squash or Tzimmes is as fluorescent as we get)

4. We are haunted by guilt, not ghosts.

3. Jews have Purim, anyway. And I'll take booze over candy any day.

2. Rugelach and apple strudel don't travel well in those plastic jack-o-lanterns.

1. We just scare way too easily.