10. Scuffleboard tournament

9.  When someone screams "man overboard", everyone cheers

8. All-night "Clubbing" isn't exactly what you had in mind

7. Featured drink at the bar: Malatov cocktail

6. Entire cruise already posted on youtube for your viewing pleasure  

5. When set sail, the crowd cheers, "Bomb Voyage!"

4. Seems you are the only one with a round trip ticket.

3. Daytime classes include humanitarian improv, fencing and the very popular "spinning stories workshop"

2. Free pocket knife souvenir on every pillow during turn down service

1. All You Can BEAT Buffet