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Previous Contests and their winners


After seeing "Field of Dreams" in a...um..."Kiruv Initiative", one Lubavitcher decided to try a new way of bringing back the Rebbe...
by jeremy kaliman


Tefilloh was followed by lapdance entertainment at the Neturai Karta minyan breakfast
by ceebee3


Biker and Shofar- both EPO enhanced.
by Suricg


"Son, start practising your finger wag now, and when you get to be my age, you'll make a good living playing Tevye."
by bronxyid


I usually do not arrest people for loitering, however in your case, it could lead to mixed dancing.
by Pastrami


According to an ancient tradition, when two clowns meet, they will never look each other in the eye.
by dovber


Thank you, Rabbi. A bris is just what Bill needed.
by studman84


As you can see, not only is a kosher Esrog , but it has a built in cell phone, mp3 player, and it is "Touch Screen". This is the only Esrog you will ever need.
by Julian


Fun & Games: Count the number of things in the picture that Mahmoud Ahmadinejad hates.
by ClickHere


Hillary: If I lose to Obama, send the yahrtzeit calendar to Chappaqua.
by ShimonNechemiah


I'm signing your one-year employment contract with our official company quill. Welcome to AgriProcessors, young lady!
by ClickHere


BROOKSBROTHERS FOR MINORITIES
by rebshrink


Asian visitors learn about the origin of "Crown" Heights
by ShimonNechemiah


Before embarking on a world tour, The Heblews are in rehearsal mode.
by ShimonNechemiah


... and they found one small pack of cigarettes, but a miracle happened, and they were able to make it last for 8 days, until they could get more.
by ClickHere


Mr. President, I know I have a responsible job, but I must leave early on most Fridays.
by ShimonNechemiah
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The Kosher Caption Contest


Welcome to our weekly Caption Contest! The funnier, frummier, the better.
Winner each week recieves their name and caption in lights on bangitout!
Submit as many times as you like! Good Luck!






Captions Submitted So Far:

  • Member:
  • ShimonNechemiah
    CANASTA DISASTA - Farbissina Frieda reverts to Solitaire in the middle of the game.

  • Member:
  • ClickHere
    I have a king and a queen. That's called a "Shidduch" and it beats your two 7's.

  • Member:
  • ShimonNechemiah
    Shadchin employs a unique icebreaker to introduce lonely seniors

  • Member:
  • ShimonNechemiah
    Four high rollers comped at the Trump Village/Casino in Galicia

  • Member:
  • ShimonNechemiah
    Shufflin' and Shpielin in the Shtetl

  • Member:
  • chas
    It's in the cards, and so obvious: ShimonNechemiah wins again!

  • Member:
  • ClickHere
    After they spent all night discussing the Exodus and playing cards, one of their students came over and said "Raboteinu, higiya zman Criat Shma shel Shacharit!"

  • Member:
  • riat
    You'll never catch me playing strip poker!

  • Member:
  • ClickHere
    "I've got a full house." "Enough kvelling about your children, already!"

  • Member:
  • riat
    Guys just fold'em ....were already late for the pilates class!

  • Member:
  • leadjosh
    Texas Hold'em Poker Tournament - Hasidic Style

  • Member:
  • ShimonNechemiah
    In deference to Pinchus Cezanne's passing, Polish peasants recreate his masterpiece in 1906

  • Member:
  • ShimonNechemiah
    Pinsk pit boss certifies that a halachic Deck Milah is performed

  • Member:
  • ShimonNechemiah
    Card game was followed by Daf Yomi class on Sanhedrin 24b, discussing gamblers being barred from being judges or witnesses

  • Member:
  • ShimonNechemiah
    I will see your cholent, and raise you a gribenes

  • Member:
  • ShimonNechemiah
    Perfect Polish Poker Punim

  • Member:
  • ShimonNechemiah
    You have a straight? I wish I could say the same about my ainekle, Feivel!

  • Member:
  • ShimonNechemiah
    Be one of the first families in Latvia to get this combo card table with roulette, parcheesi, and cribbage attachments. Fun for the entire mishpacha!

  • Member:
  • ShimonNechemiah
    Residents of Chelm try their luck at a different game, after being humiliated at Three-Card Mendel.

  • Member:
  • ShimonNechemiah
    Estonian Chabad House utilizes new deck of cards with pictures of Rabbanim. Get all seven Rebbes and you are excused from singing, "We Want Moshiach Now."

  • Member:
  • ShimonNechemiah
    Eastern Europeans learn that "Royal Flush" has an additional meaning, aside from their recently installed commodes.

  • Member:
  • ShimonNechemiah
    Iceberg, Shmiceberg! We're not abandoning until we finish the game. Then we'll go hand in hand.

  • Member:
  • ShimonNechemiah
    Alter Cocker Gardens provides stimulating recreation for our revered residents. Next week : Cantorial Karaoke!

  • Member:
  • ShimonNechemiah
    The Rothstein family relaxes and sheps naches after hearing from afar that their beloved Arnold has successfully fixed the 1919 World Series

  • Member:
  • ShimonNechemiah
    Two Card Studs play two Old Maids while Joker looks on

  • Member:
  • ShimonNechemiah
    Belarus Hold 'em

  • Member:
  • ShimonNechemiah
    Las Vegas Night in Lodz before the insurrection

  • Member:
  • ShimonNechemiah
    The first recorded hand of GO (Gefilte) FISH

  • Member:
  • ShimonNechemiah
    Pogroms on the outside - Pinochole on the inside

  • Member:
  • ShimonNechemiah
    Klezmer musicians take five at the Minsk Music Festival in 1907

  • Member:
  • ShimonNechemiah
    Bubby and Zadie Siegel (with their chevra), during their last days in Europe, before emigrating to America to live with their grandson, Bugsele.

  • Member:
  • ShimonNechemiah
    Brighton Beach Bridge

  • Member:
  • ShimonNechemiah
    The RUMMYnian Rebbe observes his congregants emulating his latest sermon

  • Member:
  • ShimonNechemiah
    After this, let's play ShvartzJack. Twenty-one wins, but for you - 19!

  • Member:
  • ShimonNechemiah
    Such a Deal!

  • Member:
  • ShimonNechemiah
    Benevolent Czar Nicholas II allows political prisoners a respite from hard labor

  • Member:
  • ShimonNechemiah
    Du daf vissen ven tzu hold 'em, vissen ven tzu fold 'em

  • Member:
  • ShimonNechemiah
    The good old days of Bialystoker Bluff

  • Member:
  • ShimonNechemiah
    They beat us with CLUBS, steal our DIAMONDS, break our HEARTS.....tzuris in SPADES. It's time to go to America!

  • Member:
  • ShimonNechemiah
    These suits don't contain shatnes

  • Member:
  • ShimonNechemiah
    Obama's health care rationing provides seniors with a novel approach to compete for a pacemaker

  • Member:
  • ShimonNechemiah
    Women join men's game after Mahjong set was confiscated by Cossacks

  • Member:
  • ShimonNechemiah
    Who will win the pot and prized poker pishka?

  • Member:
  • ShimonNechemiah
    Russian to get in the game

  • Member:
  • ShimonNechemiah
    Card Sharks........or Herring?

  • Member:
  • ShimonNechemiah
    Captain Boris Romanovsky attends to his guests' afternoon activities in steerage

  • Member:
  • ShimonNechemiah
    The winner will immediately be placed at the front of the line for lice removal at Ellis Island

  • Member:
  • ShimonNechemiah
    Be thankful it's not Strip Poker

  • Member:
  • ShimonNechemiah
    Freud's early patients didn't play with a full deck

  • Member:
  • ShimonNechemiah
    Vintage photograph of frum urologists inventing the game of pee-nochole

  • Member:
  • ShimonNechemiah
    A Full House in the Old Country.

  • Member:
  • riat
    When I squeeze your right shoulder it means the old bat is holding four aces





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