(Nachshon Sings):

I decided just to give it a whirl                                   

Just to give it a whirl
You can see Miriam's a beautiful girl.

She's a beautiful girl.

And everything around Him is a pillar of fiery light

His people who surround Him feel the benefit of it
We're still not calm   

But he holds us captive in His Outretched Arm

Suddenly the Sea (Suddenly the Sea)                                   

Was split right before me.             

Suddenly the Sea (Suddenly the Sea)
After 430 yrs, G-d's people now are free.

The Red Sea's a part of my world
Is a part of my world
You can hear Miriam's a beautiful girl
She's a beautiful girl
She sings G-d's praises like He's described in black and white
Makes you feel warmer when you're trying to remember
The timbrels you heard
She likes the women singing with her every word

Suddenly the Sea (Suddenly the Sea)                                   

Was split right before me.             

Suddenly the Sea (Suddenly the Sea)
After 430 yrs, G-d's people now are free.

And the walls are taller than most

And they're next to me                                                       

I can see Egyptian eyes looking like from a page in a magazine

Oh they make me feel like I could be a tower

A big strong tower

G-d's got the power to be

The power to give                                                    

The power to free                                                    

Suddenly the Sea (Suddenly the Sea)                                   

Was split right before me.             

Suddenly the Sea (Suddenly the Sea)
After 430 yrs, G-d's people now are free.

You are the Shabbos Queen, young and sweet, girl of rabbinic dreams
Shabbos Queen, feel the heat from the West Side scene
You can daven, you can shteig, having the time of your life
See that girl, join the scene, welcome the Shabbos Queen

You're a teaser, you turn candles on
Leave them burning and then you're gone
Looking out for another, anyone will do
You're in the mood for a dance
And when you get the chance...

You are the Shabbos Queen, young and sweet, girl of rabbinic dreams
Shabbos Queen, feel the heat from the West Side scene
You can daven, you can shteig, having the time of your life
See that girl, join the scene, welcome the Shabbos Queen

(to the tune of "Summer Lovin'" from Grease)

The Boys are singing in the Westmont lobby; the girls in the Key West.

Boy:  Shabbos lovin' had me a bla-ast.

Girl:  Shabbos lovin' happened so fa-ast.

Boy:  Met a girl outside OZ

Girl:  By Havdalah, knew he was for me.

CHORUS:

ALL:  Working days driftin' away

           To-oo uh, those Shabbos nights!

           Ah-well, ah-well, ah-well, uh-UH

Boys:  Tell me more, tell me more, she's got one roommate or two?

Girls:  Tell me more, tell me more, Ivy League or YU?

Uh huh, uh huh, uh huh, uh huh, uh huh.

Boy: "Got invited" to her best friend's meal.

Girl:  Showed him off there, what a sweet deal.

Boy:  She was into me, I had a hunch,

Girl:  So I wooed him with my Cranberry Crunch.

CHORUS:

ALL:  Holy feat, boy and girl meet.

           To-oo uh, those Shabbos nights!

           Ah-well, ah-well, ah-well, uh-UH

Boys:  Tell me more, tell me more, was there an oneg there, too?

Girls:  Tell me more, tell me more, he touched the Zomick's or you?

Shoo-bah-bah, Shoo-bah-bah, Shoo-bah-bah, Shoo-bah-bah--Shoo-bah-bah, Shoo-bah-bah, Shoo-bah-bah, Shoo-bah-bah –YEAH!

Boy:  Walked back to her place, near Central Par-ark.

Girl:  So romantic, there in the da-ar-ark.

Boy:  Gonna show her off on the Lawn!

Girl:  Could have stayed out there till dawn.

CHORUS:

ALL:  West Side fun, something's begun.

           To-oo uh, those Shabbos niiiiights!

           Whoa, whoa, whoa…

Boys:  Tell me more, tell me more, did ya ask for a date?

Girls:  Tell me more, tell me more, oh my G-d—it was fate!

(Music slows)

Girl:  He returned to Brooklyn, that's where it ends,

Boy:  So I told her we'd still be frie-e-e-ends.

Girl:  He didn't even mention a ring …

Boy:  Not too big on committing…

CHORUS:

ALL:  Sinai dreams ripped at the seams,

           Bu-ut, oh! Those Sha-ab-bos ni-iii-ights!

           Tell me more, tell me more-oh-ore!

Dis is da numba one J-killa, assimilation sound
Yeah, Shiksa coworker, this is how it goes down
We da easiest shidduch in the world right now.
Just met after work outside of my j-town.
Bet people staring round.
Better put the kippa in my hand right now.
Tell the chavrusa not to save me seats,
I just sold out all my jewish peeps.

[Chorus: Estelle]
Take me on a trip, I'd like to eat trief some day.
Take me out of New York, I'd love to know of Saturday.
I really want to, give up yaadus for you.
You'll be my American Goy.

He said, Hey Gentile Sister.
Baruch Hashem, nice to meet ya.
I just met this 5 foot 3 guy who's just my type.
Like the way his yiddish speak here, his hairline is receeding.
Don't like his hocker clothes but I'm a like his Tzitzit underneath them.
And no I ain't been to Hebrew Day
I heard that Jews never pay and New Yorker's say oy vey.
But first let's see the Midwest.
I'll show you why gentile life is the best.
I'm like this American Goy. American Goy.

[Chorus:]
Take me on a trip, I'd like to eat trief some day.
Take me out of New York, I'd love to know Saturday.
I really want to, give up yaadus by you.
You'll be my American Goy.

Can we go out-of-town this weekend.
Take me outside the techum Broadway.
Let's go shopping retail maybe then we'll go to a Burger King Cafe.
Let's go eat foot long Subway.
Take me to your hood.
I neva been outside of Brooklyn and I'd like to see if Lobster tastes good.
Dress in all your not tzneus clothes.
Peperoni Pizza looking Fresh to death I'm lovin' those Shell & Scallops.
Walkin' that gentile walk.
Talk that mid western talk.
I'm likin' this American Goy. American Goy.

[Chorus:]
Take me on a trip, I'd like to eat trief some day.
Take me out of New York, I'd love to know of Saturday.
I really want to, give up yaadus for a day with you.
You'll be my American Goy.

Let them know a gwan blud

[Kanye West:]
Who killin' em? Assimilation Oy vey.
Everybody gonna to say shiksa - oy vey,
Because most of the olam don't get me.
Rebbe once said to me, you'll calm down
Don't act a fool now now.
I always act a fool oww oww.
Ain't nothing new now now.
He wild, I know what ya thinkin'.
Trief Wine I know what you're drinkin'.
Thinks I'm Off the Derech.  
Where's your neshama,
It's the Americana Frye Persona.... 
And I know they love it.
So to hell with all them shidduchs
 

La da da, da da, de da
La da da, da da, de da
American Goy

Wall Street Jews Are A Changin'

Come gather round yid bankers
Wherever you roam
And admit that the mayim
Around you are stirrin'
And accept it that soon
You’ll be told to go home
If your parnosseh to you
Is worth savin’
Then you better start swimmin’
Or you’ll sink like the DOW
For the markets they are a-changin’.

(To the tune of Mama Mia! By ABBA)

I've been waiting so long, and I know why

Cause I've not yet met the right guy

Look at me now, I'm not so young

I don't know why, I'm in this fish bowl

There's no fire within my soul

Just one more date, I can hear that bell ring

Maybe my bashert, that'll make my heart sing

Mama Mia, here I go again

Oy Vay, I'm gonna kill that Shadchan

Mama Mia, can't find my man

Every one's, just a has been

Yes, I know he's out there

But this guy's got no hair

Oy Vay, why did I agree to go

Mama Mia, now I really know

Oy Vay, how could I sink this low!

I've was dating so long, what could I do?

I couldn't seem to find, a man a good Jew

But then I meet, my bashert

After going out, with so many men

I thank you Hashem, again & again

I can hear the wedding bells ring

My soul mate, makes my heart sing

Mama Mia, I'm a Kallah now

My my, now I can really grin

Mama Mia, is my face aglow

My my, I can't resist him

Yes, I was brokenhearted

But now I won't be parted

My Choson, I won't let him go

Mama Mia, him I do adore

But what's up with my mother-in-law?

All the kosher yids with no vacation gigs

Go to Eden Wok! Eden Wok!
Jumpin JDaters and the J for J Haters
Go to Eden Wok! Eden Wok!
Eden Wok! Eden Wok!
Eden Wok! Eden Wok!
Eden Wok! Eden Wok!

Their mammas know but they don't care
They got their worries too
Seven kids and a house to care for
And the New York rent too

All the Stern chicks, who don't know from chopsticks
Go to Eden Wok! Eden Wok!
All the RIETS kin who love to shteig on dinim
Go to Eden Wok! Eden Wok!
Eden Wok! Eden Wok!

Eden Wok! Eden Wok!

Eden Wok! Eden Wok!

I've got some mishnas from World War II
I study 'em just like me Zayde do
He was a scholar and I am too
Go to Eeeeeeden Wok! Eden Wok!
Yeah Eeeeeden Wok!

So find a place

And grab a space

And yell and scream for more

Eden Wok!  Eden Wok!

OU!!!!

I walked up to Har Sinai,

I looked back down and saw a calf,

Sometimes solutions aren't so simple,

I broke the Luchot in half,

 

 

And God will get you back

           Yes God will get you back

And because he saw you bow,

 To the golden cow,

And God will get you back

 

 

 

You're rings and gold were on the cow

Because you counted 1 more day,

Hashem did give the Luchot back,

But now in the desert you will stay

 

 

And God will get you back

           Yes God will get you back

And because he saw you bow,

 To the golden cow,

And God will get you back

 

And because he saw you bow,

 To the golden cow,

And God will get you back

 

And because he saw you bow,

 To the golden cow,

And God will get you back.

If you don't soon you will all get screwed yes you will

And all the first borns god will kill

And with darkness the will fill

Hey there Egyptians stay on the safe side

Or hail fire will fall so you better hide or you'll have pain

Check the weather cause bloods gonna rain

From a push of Moses's cane

Oh its cause you wont let them go

Oh its cause you wont let them go

Oh its cause you wont let them go

Oh  its cause you won't let them go

They've got no technology but gods will set them free

So why don't you avoids wrath

And take the right path

Hey there Egyptians just be nice

Other wise you will be swarmed with lice everywhere

And the jews wont care

Just laugh and stare

Hey there Egyptians be good guys

Or some animals will run crazy and yours will die and too many boils too pop

And frogs will hop

And these plagues won't stop

Oh its cause you wont let them go

Oh  its cause you wont let them go

Oh its cause you wont let them go

Oh  its cause you wont let them go

Yoni Kahan: Hey Lani…it's me. I'm in ahh, a hotel…I don't know how long I've been on the road  I..I don't even know what city I'm in any more to be honest. Anyway, I've been thinking about you a lot, and ahh, I've been needing to tell you something. I don't know why I haven't but it's important, I mean we've been together for so long, over 10 years, and I still haven't told you and it's just not right, so here it goes.

Yoni Kahan: I'm going mixed dancing

 Charlize Theron: He's going mixed dancing

 Yoni Kahan: I'm sorry but it's true

Yoni Kahan: I'm going mixed dancing

 Charlize Theron: He's going mixed dancing

 Yoni Kahan: I'm not only dancing with a Jew

Yoni Kahan: I'm going mixed dancing

 Charlize Theron: In the shul, on the bed, without covering my head, on the plane, in the mikva, with a gorgeous blonde shiksa

Yoni Kahan: I'm going mixed dancing

 Charlize Theron: He's going mixed dancing

 Yoni Kahan: While you're going for a ride

Yoni Kahan: I said I'm going mixed dancing

 Charlize Theron: He said He's going mixed dancing

 Charlize Theron: Hey Ilana, how about the electric slide?

Get it? 'Cause, 'cause I'm talking about the dance…

 Yoni Kahan: Yeah…it's…it's funny…

Yoni Kahan: I'm going mixed dancing

 Charlize Theron: He's going mixed dancing

 Yoni Kahan: And you know that I ain't fakin'

Yoni Kahan: I said I'm going mixed dancing

 Charlize Theron: He's going mixed dancing

 Yoni Kahan: Ask The Agudah's Avi Shafran

 The Agudah's Avi Shafran: It's true, The Agudah has confirmed that He is in fact going mixed dancing

Yoni Kahan: Remember when I was in LA a few weeks ago, I was going mixed dancing

Charlize Theron: Remember when he went to Salt Lake City , He was DEFINITELY going mixed dancing

Yoni Kahan: Remember when I told you I was going mixed dancing? I WAS going mixed dancing.

Yoni Kahan:  In the shul, on the bed, without her covering her head, on the plane, in the mikva, with a gorgeous blonde shiksa

 Charlize Theron: He's going mixed dancing

 Yoni Kahan: I'm going mixed dancing

 Charlize Theron: He's going mixed dancing

 Yoni Kahan: I love L.A. !

Yoni Kahan: So, that's it…umm….I think I was clear?

 Charlize Theron: No, you did great..

 Yoni Kahan: Oohh, it was okay. [laughs]

 Charlize Theron: Pretty damn good.

 Yoni Kahan: Ummm, anyway…umm, you know, we had a great run Lan and ahhh, I hope there's no hard feelings, I hope we can be friends. If anything isn't clear or you need closure of some kind, please please call my publicist Amy Zvi at BNCPR. So take care

 Charlize Theron: You know what? Stop right there….Lani we're out of time…sorry.

 Yoni Kahan: [laughs] You are soo bad!

 Charlize Theron: A little bit, let's put that guitar down and go mixed dancing…See ya Lani.

Ilana Kahan: Hey Yoni…it's me. I'm at ahh, home…I don't know how I've lasted with you on the road so long I..I don't even know what city you're in any more to be honest. Anyway, I've been thinking about you a lot, and ahh, I've been needing to tell you something. I don't know why I haven't but it's important, I mean we've been together for so long, over 10 years, and I still haven't told you and it's just not right, so here it goes.

Ilana Kahan: I'm going mixed swimming

 Pierce Brosnan: She's going mixed swimming

 Ilana Kahan: I'm sorry but it's true

Ilana Kahan: I'm going mixed swimming

 Pierce Brosnan: She's going mixed swimming

 Ilana Kahan: I'm not only swimming in a pool

Ilana Kahan: I'm going mixed swimming

 Pierce Brosnan: In the pool, at the club, in a nice big hot tub, at the beach, eating zuchini, in a very teeny bikini

Ilana Kahan: I'm going mixed swimming

 Pierce Brosnan: She's going mixed swimming

 Ilana Kahan: While you're off making a joke

Ilana Kahan: I said I'm going mixed swimming

 Pierce Brosnan: She said she's going mixed swimming

 Pierce Brosnan: Hey Ilana, how about the back stroke?

Get it? 'Cause, 'cause I'm talking about the back stroke and swimming…

 Ilana Kahan: Yeah…it's…it's funny…

Ilana Kahan: I'm going mixed swimming

 Pierce Brosnan: She's going mixed swimming

 Ilana Kahan: And you know I'm not doing it in a dress

Ilana Kahan: I said I'm going mixed swimming

 Pierce Brosnan: She's going mixed swimming

 Ilana Kahan: Ask The Jewish Press

 The Jewish Press: It's true, The Jewish Press has confirmed that she is in fact going mixed swimming

Ilana Kahan: Remember when I went to the gym last week, I was going mixed swimming

Pierce Brosnan: Remember when he went to LA last summery, she was DEFINITELY going mixed swimming

Ilana Kahan: Remember when I told you I was going mixed swimming? I WAS going mixed swimming.

Ilana Kahan:  In the pool, at the club, in a nice big hot tub, at the beach,    eating zuchini, in a very teeny bikini

 Pierce Brosnan: She's going mixed swimming

 Ilana Kahan: I'm going mixed swimming

 Pierce Brosnan: She's going mixed swimming

 Ilana Kahan: I love NY!

Ilana Kahan: So, that's it…umm….I think I was clear?

 Pierce Brosnan: No, you did great.

 Ilana Kahan: Oohh, it was okay. [laughs]

 Pierce Brosnan: Pretty damn good.

 Ilana Kahan: Ummm, anyway…umm, you know, we had a great run Yoni and ahhh, I hope there's no hard feelings, I hope we can be friends. If anything isn't clear or you need closure of some kind, please please call my publicist Amy Zvi at BNCPR. So take care

 Pierce Brosnan: You know what? Stop right there….Lani we're out of time…sorry.

 Ilana Kahan: [laughs] You are soo bad!

(To the tune of "A Bi Me Leybt")

I see the advertisement

To the Big Event

Lipa, it's you I wanna see

But the Rabbis say it's a big sin

If I go and listen

They issued a decree

For ten tickets I spring

There's seperate seating

Everything's gonna be according to Jewish law

But some Rabbis signed a petition

I don't understand their mission

Now Lipa's gonna wihdraw

Chorus:

The Big Event

The Big Event

The Big Event

The Big Event...

The Rabbis call it immoral

Yet they've caused a quarrel

About a person's parnasah they forgot

They think their behavior is sublime

They should read the Chofetz Chaim

About what is permitted and what is not

Chorus:

The Big Event

The Big Event

The Big Event

The Big Event...

They say "their sin is great"

They're very quick to berate

Do they even know what they signed?

Before your name is listed

Be sure your arm is not twisted

Be careful whom you malign

Chorus:

The Big Event

The Big Event

The Big Event

The Big Event...

(Lyrics by David Lederstein)

You don't make me latkes

You don't sing me Maoz Tzur

You hardly talk to me anymore

All I hear is your snore

At the end of the day

I remember when

How Chanukah was then

Couldn't get up from the table

At the end of the meal

Well its good for you

You don't have to peel

All those potatoes

For our Chanukah meal

And you don't make me latkes anymore

It used to be so natural

To grate those potatoes

But used to bes don't count anymore

I have to go to the store

For my latkes to pay

And baby I remember

All the food you cooked me

I learned to boil water

And even make tea

But I miss those potato pancakes

For me you used to fry

You'd think I could learn

To just say goodbye

And you don't make me latkes anymore