based on "Uptown Girl" by Bill Joel

———

 

She's been living in a Midtown World
I'll bet she never had an Uptown Guy
I'll bet the Shaddchan never told her why

I'm gonna try for a Midtown Girl
She's been living in her Brookdale World
As long as anyone with I.D. can
Now she's looking for an Uptown Man
She's on the van
And when she knows what
She wants in a guy
And when She's made up
The ring she's gonnna buy
She'll see it's not so bad
Being set up
With a Main Campus Uptown guy
Even if he does NCSY
Even though he never went to HASC
Doing her hair is such a tedious task
Just bring a flask

Oy yoy, Oy yoy, yoy, yoy, yoy, Oy yoy, Oy yoy, yoy, yoy,

Midtown Girl
You know I can't afford to buy her pearls
But maybe with her Dad's money bin
I'll know what kind of financial state I'm in
And then I'll win
And when she's talking
I'm wishing she's a mime
And when she's crying
I'm trying to sympathize
She'll see I'm really worth
Spending time
Every night
On the Uptown van!
She is looking for a Black Hat man
One who learns in MYP
Though we know he always sleeps 'till three
NOT IBC!!!

Oy yoy, Oy yoy, yoy, yoy, yoy, Oy yoy, Oy yoy, yoy, yoy,

Uptown Girl WOMAN
The Shidduch Committee
Screwed up
TAC really sucks
The Elevator sucks
The CAF sucks
YU Sucks
The Guide really Sucks
The Guys really Suck
UPTOWN SUCKS
MIDTOWN ROX