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bangitout.com's
PURIM SHPIEL 2003
all the skitz fit to bang
INTERNET
DATING
by isaac galena
Boy
and friend one side of stage - Girl
and friend on other stage
both
sit at computer screen in their homes
B
:Hey Jared Dude- take a look at this girl's picture on JDating Website,
dude she is a total babe!!
J:
Like Dude, she is a beautiful baby- totally send her an email dude, and
lets go hit the keg, at that jewish frat party
B:
Totally Dude, but what should I write her? I mean shes a total Hottay.
J:
Dude - just say - wasssup baby how about you and I take a ride on the
Jewish car of love
B:
Duddde your a genius: Dear
(looks closer) Fraydie613,
J:
Fraydie?
B:
Yeah dude, Dear Fraydie613 you are certainly the sweetest thing on the
innernet. Do you want to take a ride in my jewish love car, there is
nothing to be afraid of.
(both
laugh) heheheh
------
Girls
side of table
F:
Shani Shani! come quick, Boruch Hashem, I finally received an electronic
message from that dating website your aunt put my picture on, I am so
excited I may just have to put on my shabbos suit and finish all of tehillim.
S: OH
fraiyde - I am so happy for you! Perhaps,
bezras Hashem this could perhaps be your..... Bashert!
F:
Shani!
S:
Whoopsy, Knanine Hurah!
F:
Thats more like it shani.
S: So
nu what did this shtark boy have to say?
F:
Well, he first called me very sweet,
and asked me for a date, in his car! He said there was nothing to
be afraid of, Fear, Yiras
Shamayim!!
S: He
is perfect!
F:
Wait till you see his picture. here, isnt he cute?
S: oy
veh! (she turns away) he is not wearing a shirt! where are his tztizis?
and no kippah!
F:
Hello! Earth to Shani - isnt it obvious?
S: No
F: it
is a picture from the mikvah!! Hes obviously very frum
S:
Fraydie - you are so right - dan lecaf zechus
F:
(typing) Dear Brian, I certainly think you are sweet too and I would love
to take a ride with you in your fancy ca...
S:
Maybe you should ask him how frum he is?
F:
Oh, You are right Shani ( typing ) Also do you want your wife to wear
pants? Cause I do not wear pants. let me know Toodles. Fraydie
Back
to Guys Side
B:
Dude -
J:
Yeah dude
B:
Fraydie wrote back. I am the luckiest man alive!
J:
Why Dude?
B:
Read this, she doesn’t wear pants! Dude
J:
Huh?
B:
Nothing Dude! She’s A free spirit. Probably walks around without pants
everywhere!
J:
You are the Luckiest dude alive
B:
(typing) Dear Fraydie, I'd like to meet you...As Soon As Humanly Possible.
I've always dreamed of meeting
a girl who doesnt wear pants. I give you credit - thats very bold of you.
What other items of clothing do you not wear?
Do you get cold?
Where
does someone like you like to go on dates? -Brian
F:
Dear Brian. I will never wear a short skirt, and I can't stand tank tops
or anything that is too tight. It is in my opinion, it is all disgusting.
Where should we go? I feel a hotel lobby is always quick and easiest -Fraydie.
B:
DUDE!
J:
DUDE!
B:
She wants me to take her straight to a hotel!
J
DUDE!
B:
This Internet dating website is amazing!
J:
Ask her if she has a favorite hotel, you know.
B:
ok: Types Which Hotel?
-----
F: My
rebbi and my father always tell me to go to the Marriot. Its the most
public of the hotels, that way people can see us, watch us. And well have
no problem of it being just us, you know, with yichud.
-------
B:
DUDE
J:
DUDE
B:
This is getting weird. Her dad and rabbis told her what hotel to use! and
she's not intrested in it just being alone – this girl maybe too much
for me to handle! and she
mentioned someone named Yichud? Who is that?
J:
Dude, I have no idea, but I like what im hearing...
B:
Dude, Maybe she doesn’t wear pants either!
J:
DUDE!
B:
(typing) Dear Fraydie - the Marriot sounds good to me - and as far as im
concerned, I like the sound
of Yichud already! Ill make sure to bring my friend along. - Brian
F:
Dear Brian, This is really
sounding great. Its nice to know you are so frum that you would like to
bring a friend along to not have the problem with Yichud.
You are very sweet, and very frum, and I feel we already are
connecting in ways I can only dream about. Lets go out tonight if
possible.
The
more I think about it the more i feel - this really could be for Bashert!!!
B:
Dear Fraydie, Im totally excited for this!
In fact, a dude like myself has spent years dreaming of a night
like this. Who knew Internet Dating could be so amazing. Send me your
address asap and Ill be at your place with my friend Jared tonite at 8pm.
So no problem with Yichud. Well head straight to the Marriot. My treat. No pants would be fantastic.
This is really gonna be amazing. I can really feel it.
Oh, and one last thing…
Who
is Bashert, and does she need a date too? |
