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bangitout.com's
PURIM SHPIEL 2003
all the skitz fit to bang
SHUL
ANNOUNCEMENTS
by isaac galena & avi korn
Good Shabbos, everyone. Just a few quick shul
announcements before we continue with the shpeil.
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Mincha today is at 5:34pm sharp, which will follow the Rabbis
Weekly Shiur in Speed Learning at 5:33pm
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Kiddush tonight is sponsored anonymously by Mr. And Mrs.
Schwartzman
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The shul acapella choir group is looking for a new tenor as little
Robbi Grunstien goes through stages of puberty, please see Doctor Schwartz
for more specific details.
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Due to the horrible lack of response to the upcoming annual
Sisterhood “Journal dinner”, the dinner will now be referred to as the
“Sisterhood Leaflet snack”, and will be held in the back of shul
kitchen following the lavish Markowitz bar mitzvah.
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Shacharis this week will be held at 7am, 7:02, and 7:14 the regular
7:11 minyan will be held in the nearby bodega, and the 11:45 minyan will
be held in each of the attendees bedrooms.
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Mazal Tov to Ben Weiss and Shirly Shulman on their recent
engagement! (MAZAL TOV!)
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Another Mazal Tov to Ben Weiss and….Esther Goldman, on their
recent engagement! Way to go Ben!?
(SHIRLY IN AUDIENCE - BEN
HOW COULD YOU!!!!!! BEN RUNS OUT)
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Mazal Tov to our longtime Youth leader, Jack Speltz, on finally
being cleared of all "charges and misdemeanors"
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The Kiddush is catered today by Koshermarketland, in celebration of
finally being allowed to do business after their failed FDA inspection
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Next weeks kiddush is sponsored by the Weinbach family, in honor of
the rabbi's hopeful retirement.
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Please be sure to sign the political Anti Anti Anti Anti Anti Anti
Anti Divestiture petition found in the publication racks in the back.
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The shul has decided to adopt the Color Terror Alert system for the
New Eruv’s status. A Yellow alert, will now mean that the eruv is
probably still up, and one can carry thier siddur. Orange Alert, one with
children can getaway with a stroller, and a Red Alert means that the eruv
is down, and that you may still carry anything you like, so long as no one
sees you.
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We are proud to welcome new members Rachel Silver, Mike Gold, and
Nathan Kesef, may their association with the Jewish Center be long and
full of 6 figure donations.
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The Jewish Center’s mission to Israel is filling up fast, so
please sign up now, be sure not forget to sign the Shilshul waiver. As the
Jewish center does not take responsibility if you decide to actually drink
any liquids or eat food. The
trip is being partially subsidized, and cheap airline seats will be
provided with the chance that you may have to share a seat with a
overweight smoking chasid who will be constantly davening mincha while
seated on your lap. Call the LonglineTravel for more details.
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After the controversy surrounding our last Poppy-seed Hamantash
bake day, the ATF has required the shul to inspect all poppy-seed fillings
brought in by participants this year, as well as restrict the playing of
greatful dead music during the event. After consulting with a number of
prominent rebbeim in the community, we have concluded that the mitzvah of
"Ad d'lo Yada" does not extend past alcoholic substances.
Obviously, this means that you should leave your hamentash bongs at home.
In a possibly unrelated development, The Moshav Band has cancelled it's
concert at the shul on that date.
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Parents of children attending groups have politely asked the
kiddush club not to enjoy their l'chaim in the children's play room.
Please remember these children are at an impressionable age, and parents
are rightly worried about having their children exposed to the consumption
of shmaltz herring at such an early stage in life.
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Due to conflicting shitas on when Shabbos ends, Havdalah should be
made not before 7pm, on Wednesday.
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On a serious note, The Rabbi and I wanted to remind you all to keep
in mind Sarah bas Shaidel, my daughter.
As things are really not looking good for her, and she has not
shown any signs of real recovery, it is very sad. Lets pray. Pause with me
a moment, (LOUD) It has been three days since her 2nd date at Starbucks
with Michael Spero, and he has still not called our Sarahlah back! That Am
Haaretz! *$#(23 GOYISHA SLEEZE! MAY HE NEVER HAVE AN ALIYAH IN THIS SHUL
AGAIN!
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That’s all for tonite,Thank you very much, enjoy the show and
remember to tip your waiters, Good Shabbos, a Shabbangiout Shalom and a
frayicha purim!
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