Every film critic from Byron Allen
to Gene Siskel (yes, he’s the dead one and I think that
strengthens my point), is clamoring to release their all important
Top Films of the Year list. Reviewers are very careful and
discriminating when making these lists because the 10 Best list is
not only a way of putting a pretentious stamp of approval on
cinematic selections from the year gone by, but it also is a way for
these individuals, who so desperately crave to be taken seriously as
intellectuals in the liberal arts universe (sure, Mozart, Steinbeck,
Prinze Jr. – same thing), to display their impeccably
sophisticated taste, their refined palates. They do this of course
by fancying up their lists with what I like to call “The three
R’s of impressive Films of the Year list making”. They are 1.) Really
boring movies that no sane audience could sit through and remain
conscious at the same time, 2.) Really
foreign movies that are subtitled and ambiguously plotted so no one,
not even the filmmaker, understands, and 3.) Really
obscure movies that no one saw making it impossible to disagree with
the reviewer. Then they’ll throw in the 8 Mile’s or My Big Fat
Greek Wedding’s to condescend to their readers – “I’m jello
– I’m down with you all.” But we know that their lists
aren’t for us! Those aren’t our Best of The Year. Where’s Spider-Man? Where’s Lord of the
Rings: The Two Towers? Oh, there it is…well, where’s Sweet Home
Alabama?! Anyway, I’m not going to give you any of that jive
turkey. I will give you, straight up, the best films of the
year…1992. Why 1992? Well, it’s like my committed Grandmother
always said, “Why live in the horrifying present when you can live
serenely ten years into the past?”. Also, the gematriah of
Hasratim hachi tovah bihashanah sheavrah equals the gematriah of
Hasratim sheavrah hachi tovah bihashanah (go ahead and check).
Honestly, there is no good reason – just thought it’d be cool to
check out what was going on a decade ago and gain some perspective
for the films coming up in 2003.
Best Dumb Action
Film
Live Wire
Christian Duguay, who directed this year’s pitiable Extreme Ops,
showed some promise ten years ago when he made this premium cable
ready thriller with a surprisingly disturbing edge. The hero is a
pre James Bond/post Remington Steele Pierce Brosnan showing a lot of
cerebral grittiness as an F.B.I. explosives specialist out to stop a
mad man who possesses a fascinating and terrifying weapon. The
weapon is so cleverly delicate and pervasive that it accounts for
numerous memorably tense moments (the one with the clown still comes
creeping back to me). For villains we get two actors who despite
proven talent in excellent films seem to take any role that comes
their way making them kind of the cheap villainous prostitutes of
cinema – Ben Cross (Chariots of Fire) and Ron Silver (Enemies, A
Love Story).
Best Horror Film
Candyman
No, this movie is not about the old man in shul who lures children
into his aisle by shaking his tallis bag filled with sweets. I
actually have a T-shirt (courtesy of M.N.) that says “Candyman,
Candyman, Candyman, Candyman…Dare you to say it again.” And I
wouldn’t dare. The urban legend of an ex-slave who died gruesomely
(bees and arm sawing included) by the hands of white folk and now
can be summoned by calling out his name five times, may not be just
a legend. A college student (Virginia Madsen) looks to uncover this
mystery the hard way in this bone chillingly original frightener.
Tony Todd as the Candyman manages to be eerily sympathetic while
avenging his bad fortune on innocent youths. Horror maestro Clive
Barker wrote the tale along with Bernard Rose, who directed with a
flair for creating a morbid and punishing atmosphere. The third
installment of the series went straight to video in 1999 starring
Baywatch “actress” Donna D’Errico.
Best Movie to
watch on a Fast Day
School Ties
Whether you’re screaming “cowards” in the driving rain
while wearing a tight undershirt or just beating up a bunch of
anti-Semites with your gentile posse, nothing makes you prouder of
being a Jew than watching David Greene toss touchdown passes for his
Catholic prep school in School Ties. It’s the classic “Hey,
we’re just like you” Jewish film where the animosity toward our
people is confronted in a way that makes everyone who hates us look
close-minded and bigoted. Check out some of the earliest work by the
stars of today like Matt Damon, Ben Affleck, Brendan Fraser, and
Chris O’Donnell. For his tough and even portrayal of a
well-meaning but not entirely devout Jew dealing with his
“goyish” talent and looks and knowledge of his otherness, Fraser
(fresh off Encino Man) deserves the honorary Jew title.
Surprisingly, the film is written by primarily television writer
Dick Wolf who struck gold with his Law and Order franchise. The
movie allows us to remember that while we may still be goddam Jews,
they will always be pricks.
Best spawn of
Boyz N the Hood
South Central
1991’s hit and Best Picture nominee Boyz N the Hood made it
fashionable for directors to tell the hard-knock stories of young
black kids trying to become men in the urban jungle known as the
ghetto. In addition to 1992’s Juice and 1993’s Menace II
Society, a quieter movie was released called South Central. A cast
of virtual unknowns lead by a passionate Glen Plummer as a man
metamorphosing from a stone cold thug to a reformed citizen after 10
years in prison and then trying to save his son from gang life.
Plummer goes through a spectacular change on screen and the
realizations he makes about crucial life choices while trying to
gain his son’s respect despite his hypocrisy are intelligently
handled. Byron Minns (of this year’s Undisputed, but not much
else) does standout work as the young son Ray Ray torn between the
allure and “power” of gang life and the father he grew up
without because of the bitter realities of gang life.
Best Tom Cruise
Film
A Few Good Men
In a year that saw both 2001’s Best Director Ron Howard’s
Irish epic Far and Away and Rob Reiner’s screen adaptation of
Aaron Sorkin’s (The West Wing) stage play A Few Good Men, we have
to give the nod to the latter as the best movie starring Tom Cruise
in ’92. The reasons are simple – 1.) Endless quotable lines
(“You can’t handle the truth”, “Did you order the code
red?”, “Who’s gonna do it? You? You Lieutenant Weinberg?”)
2.) The best film to play the Kevin Bacon game with next to
‘Sleepers’ 3.) Demi Moore looking vulnerably luscious 4.)
Nicholson way over the top in a way that makes us want more and 5.)
It’s a damn moving, patriotic movie razor sharp with intrigue that
made us realize that we don’t need badges on our arms to have
honor.
Best Absurd
Comedy
Class Act
What could be more 1992 than a Kid N’ Play movie co-starring Pauly
Shore? Perhaps a Pauly Shore movie co-starring Sean Astin, but that
is another story. Now it is possible that this movie is only
hysterical to a bunch of stoned high school kids at an anonymous
person’s house while their parents were away, but I’m not going
to see it again to find out. Sure, it’s the old comedy of errors
formula where mistaken identity leads to hijinks (tough guy Blade
Brown has to pretend he is square genius Duncan Pinderhuse and vice
versa), but the boys from House Party are quite adept at absurd
comedy and this one is so out there that resisting is futile.
Meshach Taylor (Mannequin) as Duncan’s bemused father and Doug E.
Doug as someone who worships Duncan because he thinks Duncan is
Blade are standouts. Alas, Kid N’ Play have faded with the passage
of time, yet their stars will shine in Blockbusters for years to
come. Director Randall Miller has not distinguished himself since,
although he did make the equally uproarious Houseguest in 1995.
Best Independent
Reservoir Dogs
It was only ten years ago when Quentin Tarantino redefined the way
movies were made….for about five years. His secret: make the
script matter. The unflinching violence combined with initially
confusing time lapses, cross cuts, underground-cool oldies
soundtrack, and entire scenes devoted to analyzing pop culture (like
what did Madonna mean in Like a Virgin), gave Reservoir Dogs a vibe
which represented exactly what it was, exhilaratingly fresh. The
tale of a botched heist and the ensuing warehouse meeting between
the ultra-sharp crooks is so simple in plot, yet the character
development, from the manic Mr. Blonde (ice cold Michael Madsen) to
father figure Mr. White (Harvey Keitel) and narc Mr. Orange (
wretchedly good Tim Roth), makes the film sting and surprise with a
wattage hard to match. The movie sparked a slew of imitators
(Killing Zoe, True Romance, Things to Do in Denver When Your Dead),
culminating with the crown jewel of the genre, Tarantino’s Pulp
Fiction. Then, in about 1997, the ride stopped and everyone started
to make teen movies. Hopefully we can get back to basics with
Tarantino’s much awaited next project, Kill Bill in 2003.
Best Date Movie
The Cutting Edge
Honestly, I never saw The Cutting Edge and likely at this point
never will. What I do know is that every girl loves this movie and
what is a great date movie other than one that girls love and guys
tolerate for a few hours just to score some points. If you don’t
remember the commercials, this hit movie is about the unlikely
pairing of a blue collar injured hockey player and a bratty Sarah
Hughes as they compete in a figure skating competition. I’ll
assume they win. More importantly, the film was directed by Starsky
(Paul Michael Glaser) and it may be the most memorable movie D.B.
Sweeney ever makes. Once again, if you want to understand why this
movie is receiving this honorable mention, just go up to the girl
closest to you and ask her if she saw The Cutting Edge. Guaranteed
response: “Oh my G-d! I love that movie!”.
Best Underrated
Drama
Diggstown
In a year that saw such high profile Dramas like Unforgiven
and The Crying Game, some smaller movies went quietly unappreciated.
Want to see three pros at the top of their games? Check out James
Woods, (way underrated Oscar Winner) Louis Gossett Jr., and Bruce
Dern in this caper about an ex-con con man and a retired boxer
teaming up for a big score. The twist is that to win, the boxer
needs to knock out ten fighters in twenty four hours. Let the
cheating begin. The acting is superb and although it is somewhat of
a light picture, it still packs enough of an emotional punch to get
you thinking about the value of your glory days, youth, and perhaps
trying to recapture old times – at the right price. For a bonus,
you get a young Heather Graham who subsequently started a
relationship with her senior co-star James Woods. Director Michael
Ritchie (Fletch) has not made a decent major motion picture since.
Best Film
Malcolm X
I don’t know what is worse - Scent of a Woman beating Malcolm X as
Best Picture at the Academy Awards in 1992 or Denzel Washington
having to keep a Best Actor award for Training Day in 2002 when he
gave, arguably, one of the best performances of all time as the
controversial, fiery Black leader in Spike Lee’s epic masterpiece,
Malcolm X. Washington alone makes this the Best Film because there
comes a point where he simply stops acting, and begins channeling
the man himself. There is a purity to his performance that will
convince you he genuinely suffers (real
human pain) as the confused Harlem youth who grows in strength
and will power as he joins The Nation of Islam and later is turned
on by his brothers. After all is said and done, it is hard to
believe the movie flows so tightly and cleanly despite the multiple,
fully realized story lines (Malcolm the youth, the thug, the
gangster, the swinger, the criminal, the convict, the student, the
teacher, the leader, the besieged). The supporting cast is equally
brilliant with a nod toward Delroy Lindo as the Harlem kingpin who
loses his edge and falls from grace. Spike Lee has just released 25th
Hour to critical acclaim.
Worst Film of
the Year
Freejack
It may seem hard to make a bad (or at the very least
uninteresting) movie with the eclectically combined talents (or lack
of talent in some cases) of Anthony Hopkins, Rene Russo, Mick Jagger,
Amanda Plummer, David Johansen, Esai Morales, and Emilio Estevez,
but Freejack manages just fine. Forget the scotch-taped plot –
forget the stick figure acting by Estevez – forget the bargain
basement special effects and sets – forget the cheesy dialogue –
forget that there is zero chemistry between anyone on screen –
forget the….wait, you know what? This is too much to forget.
Here’s to a 2003 without an Emilio Estevez/ Anthony Hopkins movie
in sight.
What were your favs of 1992? email jordan at jtrick1@aol.com
Readers Comments:
From anonymous:
Jordan,
True Romance
was actually written by Quentin Tarantino and
therefore can not be considered “slew of imitators” and it was a
great movie to boot.
Housesitter
could have been the worst movie of the year with two big name stars
in Steve Martin and Goldie Hawn, Scent of a Women is up there
as well.
Basic
Instinct could have been the maxim movie of 92. A
movie respected by the mass even though you went to see it for the
sex.
Other
Note Worthy Movies of 92:
Chaplin
The Player
Singles
El Mariachi
Glengarry Garry Ross
Last of the Mohicans
Waynes World
From
Excellent
look back at 92, except for the scent of woman winning best pic
miscue; it was
Eastwood's
Unforgiven.
hooh ah!
School
Ties
also had best rosh hashana davening sequence of the year.
"Was it worth it, Mr. Green, to overlook (?) your traditions
just to win a football game?" "your traditions or mine
sir", or something potent to that effect.
and ben affleck wore a hairpiece thru the entire shoot.
