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Surviving
Christmas(2004)
Agree, Disagree, Agree to disagree...but
read this and let us know how you feel about this article
now
 At
this point it couldn’t possibly matter what anyone in my position would write
about the goofy Ben Affleck vehicle Surviving Christmas. It has been maligned by
critics as the perfect compliment to Gigli (not a positive thing), and begrudged
by audiences to the same fate proving Bennifer may not have been the problem.
The movie appears to be the developmentally disabled kid brother to Billy Bob’s
Bad Santa which delighted audiences, turning the holiday movie on its heads by
being unabashedly naughty. Surviving Christmas can’t decide whether it wants to
be naughty or nice and therefore the end result is a sometime funny story, but
with a severe multiple personality disorder that Affleck’s gamesmanship and
effortless charisma cannot overcome. Affleck’s character, a rich, young,
fast-talking mogul without a moral foundation is an absurd creation and the
script provides no plausible insight into his motivation for – and here’s the
plot folks –renting a blue-collar Chicago suburban family to spend the holidays
with. I would go into it further and tell you that Catherine O’Hara and James
Gandolfini are solid as the rented mom and dad and that a belly laugh or two are
wrung from the highly improvised upon screenplay, but that still won’t answer a
very important question and one more worthy of this web page: Why are we
discussing a Christmas movie on a Jewish website?
On December 24, 1966, headstones in Jewish cemeteries near Buenos Aries were
desecrated. Last year on December 25th in Petah Tikvah, a suicide bomber killed
four. During the middle ages, a pogrom could be expected at yuletide.
My not so subtle point being that Surviving Christmas was not always just the
title of a harmless diversion at your local multiplex. For many years throughout
Jewish history, it was a sincere hope, a prayer uttered from hidden rooms under
floor boards. While others dreamed of a white Christmas, Jews had nightmares of
a red one. So what of it? We don’t generally fear pogroms today and the day
usually passes without incident. Should we take the “that was then this is now”
attitude and simply enjoy the magic of It’s a Wonderful Life, the warmth and
humor of Home Alone, and the good cheer of “The Santa Clause.” Are all these
good natured flicks just another slice of Americana that Jewish Americans can
enjoy guilt free like baseball, The Dukes of Hazard, and Otis Redding? Or is
there something inherently wrong with a Yid spending the time and money
participating in a Hollywood spectacle that celebrates the birth of Jesus and
the holly, jolly season that goes along with it.
Being a liberal minded individual and a fan of the human intellect, I must begin
by slaying a poor but possibly raised argument that there are dangers and risks
involved in these movies. Regardless of the given films’ quality and however
sappy and saccharine the joy to the world message promoted is, no Jew is going
caroling after seeing A Christmas Carol (Muppet and Mr. Magoo versions
included). No Jew is going on a Christmas Vacation after renting Nation
Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation, or buying stockings to stuff after watching Bobcat
Goldthwaite shine in Scrooged. We can safely assume that the Jew extracts from
the movie the universal message – be a decent person and appreciate what you
have – and discards the religeo-symbolic by-products.
The bottom line is since some of these movies are excellent, beautiful, and
touching, they are not worth missing just because we don’t happen to celebrate
the holiday. We’re not dropping our heritage just because Mara Wilson has big
eyes and Arnie slugged a reindeer. After all, is the movie really about anything
fundamentally Christian? Hasn’t Christmas become more of a cultural phenomenon
than religious holy day?
But this does not take care of our subtext question, nor does it fix a separate,
always hovering issue: By going to a Surviving Christmas, are we simply acting
too “goyish”? That seems to be the catch-all deterrent when our sages want to
make a certain act inexplicably wrong. We shall see about this soon. First, the
subtext question: Should a Jew find himself, even in the most unassuming way,
somehow attuned to or involved in the Christmas Spirit? Would that association
somehow betray the martyrs lost in the days when, and in the places where our
Christian brothers and sisters were a bit more, let us say, aggressive? Are we
making light of something deadly serious?
I have a vivid memory from my first year in high school. A wise-guy in my class
who evidently was aware of the calendar came in to our Chumash class one
December day and announced “Good Yontif”! Some people laughed. It took me a
while because I didn’t know it was Christmas day but once that became clear I
found the humor. Our rabbi leaning on his shtender in the front of the room, red
beard gnarled, wild eyes behind thick glasses, was fuming. “Do you know how many
Jews were killed on this day”, he roared, “Today is a day where it was the only
excuse needed to murder Jews.” The tirade sobered me, yes, and I appreciated his
point that it should not be a celebratory day for us, but I didn’t feel like I,
because of that unfortunate history, needed to avoid and abhor all things
Christmas. Why? Because there is a tremendous range between the Jew who places a
tree in his home alongside the menorah and one who disdains the day with a deep
animosity.
Today, I find myself in the middle. It is impossible to be a modern person and
escape the pervasive reality of that particular season. But here is the kicker
as alluded to earlier, and this is really why we can feel okay humming
along with “Let it Snow” as John McClain yippee kayas his way to victory. Forget
that, as Jews, we are taught that Christianity is a bogus religion compiled from
other existing religions (mainly Judaism) and marketed to the rebel Jews and
heathens of the day. Christmas, or at least the Christmas on film, has lost its
sanctity due to the commercialization of whatever its essence once was. The day,
like it’s token movies, merely represents an ideal that mankind as a whole
wishes to achieve – peace on earth and goodwill towards men. In other words, we
need to separate the old Christmas from the new. There is the old savage
Christmas, which was born from the original strain where fear and intolerance
was the hallmark of Christianity. Where the church was horribly corrupt and
merciless. That day should in a sense be remembered and considered with a
serious heart. At the same time there is a second, completely fake, yet
infinitely more palatable and attractive Christmas. The one we are accustomed
to. This is the one where Jewish producers make movies written by Jews and
starring Jews that make us all feel warm and fuzzy inside while some guy in a
fat suit bellows ho ho ho. Who can’t dig that?
This also allays any worries about corrupting the Jewish soul with what would
incorrectly be deemed avodah zarah, or more often, just “goyishness.” The
metaphysical complications have been consciously and categorically removed by
Columbia Pictures. Warner Brothers has taken the Christ out of Christmas.
So don’t feel badly this season if you find yourself aboard the Polar Express or
spending some time with the Krunks. There is no shame, only a sharing of our
humanity. You do have a business knowing who you are and where you’re from, but
that goes without saying and applies to every aspect of a Jew’s life. Also, if
you find yourself knowing more words to that counting song beyond “and a
partridge in a pear tree”, consult your local rabbi.
Send all comments to movie rav jordan hiller at
jtrick1@aol.com
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