STATISTICALLY, HOW TO ENSURE THAT YOU WILL BE WRITTEN IN THE BOOK OF LIFE THIS COMING YEAR:
- Avoid riding in automobiles because they are responsible for 20 % of all fatal accidents.
- Do not stay at home because 17 % of all accidents occur in the home. (that's 37 % already!)
- Avoid walking on streets or sidewalks because 14% of all accidents occur to pedestrians.(now that's 51%)
- Avoid traveling by air, trains or buses, 16% of accidents involve these forms of transportation. (that's 67%)
- Of the remaining 33 percent, 32% of all deaths occur in hospitals. Above all else avoid hospitals.
You will be pleased to learn that only 0.01 % of all deaths occur in a synagogue!
…and these are usually related to previous physical disorders. (Hello hatzalah in the middle of Yom Kippur)
Therefore, logic tells us that the safest place for you to be at any given point in time is in Synagogue.
Torah Study is even safer! The number of deaths during Torah Study is too small to register!
For safety's sake, go to Shul as often as possible, and attend Torah Study!
It could save your life!
This message has been brought to you by your local synagogue's membership drive.
PS: You don't have to be Jewish to go to shul. Sure, you may not understand what the old guys are saying but they sometimes they serve schnapps in mini paper cups.