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The Daily Bang Archives:
Ish CHayil - Man of Valor
Shlomo HaMalka
These are a few of my least favorite things
Marc WilsonJ-Naked
isaac galena
Your
MOM is SO Jewish
bio staff
Teenage
Pregnancies in the Frum Community
David Jacob
The Haggadah for Parents of singles
avi korn & seth galena
God to Host New Reality TV SHOW
seth galena
The Seinfeld Purim Chronicles
Meish Goldish
OP-ED: Grammaticals of the Elders of Zion
Yonatan Jacobs
How to Loose a Date in 10 minutes
avi korn
“Jewish
Week” Changes Name to “Lanner Weekly”
arye dworken
If You Dated Yourself, 2nd Date?
Isaac Galena
Getting
Dates on the UWS
Aaron Spool
TuB'Shvat:
Celebrating the Superbowl
Uri Yudewitz
G-d
Only(simchas) Knows
Geoff Dworkin
The
Day the Simchas Died
Ben Tetris (Avi Korn)
Polygamy Catching on
Rachel Pomegranate
The Bochur
yitz farbowitz
Is Ellen Feiss Jewish?
seth galena
Tom Petty's It Isn't Shiayach
Adam Kenigsberg
The Simpsons, Jewish?
Robert Schneider
The Real Slim Shloimie
Eli Levin
Not so Glamorous in Glamour
Kyra Lindsay
Jewish Honest Classified Ads
Miriam Lazar and Deena Grant
How to teach in English in China
Sarah Galena
Who wants to marry a Boro Park
Millionaire
martin bodek
My Sister's Grand Dragon Boyfriend
Alisa green
80's movie UWS Dating Lessons
Remfan
Modern Orthodox Quiz
Ahava Leibtag
National Geographic's Journey
to the Upper West Side
Avi Korn
60 ways to appear frum and intellectual
Michael Winner and others
Before the West Side was Won
Momoney
Questions New Yorkers can Never
Answer
travis from Queens
TV: Bad for Israel?
arye dworken
Date to keep in Shape
benji joffee
Film: Conjuring Before G-d
Jon Duker
YU Chooses New Pres
Eli Clark
Jewish Deep Thoughts
Ari Greenberg
Inside Dougies
Evan K.
Observant Observations of OZ
simmy kustanowitz
Jew Years Resolutions
jenn goldi
Hollywood L'atid Lavoh
Jordan Hiller
Meeting the Parents Scorecard
Gary Strong and Avi Korn
Jewish Featured Headlines
arye dworken
Canceling Simchat Torah?
Leah Granoff
The UWS "Al Chaits" Isaac
Galena
Choose you own Dating Adventure
Ahava Leibtag
Entertainment Rebbis
Isaac Galena
The Dating Dictionary
Ahava Leibtag
Single Gal Wedding Guide
Jessica R./Jessica M.
New York Vs. Out of Town
Chuck Cohen
WWF star Chyna, Frum?
Arye Dworken
Dividing things Jewish and Goyish
Isaac Galena
The Jewish 80's
Noach Bernstien
Datin, the Cheap Way
Avi Korn
J-escort service
Eli Goldmann
"It" Girl
Miriam Abramowitz
Foot-IN-Mouth Epidemic
Avi Korn
Jaded by Zemiroth
Lon Smolensky
Purim Special Report
Judah Levine
Press Your Luck
Danny Fax
Upper West Side Story
Arye Dworken
Guta Neshama Hunting
Arye Dworken
Casting Calls to Conference Calls
Isaac Galena
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The Kosher Daily Bang presents:
The Jewish 80's
a special report from the heights correspondent,
Noach Bernstien
and the bangitout.com staff  NEW reader comments!
"Bless on it, Bless on it, Bless on and on on on on on it"
- Shlock Rock (Shlock Rock I)
In light of all the 80's lists appearing on BangItOut.com, I found it
pertinent to compile a list of memories that allow us to revisit our childhood, growing up not just in the 80's, but in the Jewish 80's
(sorry Goyim your probably
gonna have to sit this bang out).
So here we go:
- While jean mini skirts were the in thing, girls in your school had
to settle for the miniskirt that went down to the knee (not cool). Stonewashed
skirts meant they were scummy.
- Your main Saturday night event was NCSY roller-skating…. (bangin'
it out shomer negiyah style during couples only).
- You owned 'Shlock Rock' Cassettes (but only the first three albums).
- You cursed early Shabbos because it meant missing the last half of
Kids Incorporated
- You were cool in Shul if you had docksiders loafers.
- You fought for Soviet Jewry (raise your hand if you also thought
it was Soviet Jewelry) ….."we are leaving, Mother Russia"
- You remember feeling left out when your goyish friends discussed
that weeks Saturday morning cartoons (i.e. Pacman, WWF All-Stars, and
Q-bert).
- You also remember feeling devilishly good when Bubby let you watch
Saturday morning cartoons at her place.
- You remember trying to figure out just how to fit the Yarmulka into the hairspray
do….
- …..and just a few years later getting suspended for having a
'step' haircut (or as Rabbi Yankelavich would put it "having a
Beatles hairdo").
- When it came to school, you owned 2 TrapperKeepers in school, one
for English and one for Jewish subjects. Hebrew language kinda fell
in the middle so it had its own notebook.
- Collecting baseball cards came in a close second to collecting Rebbe
cards.
- The only 2 video games you played in computer class were Logo, and
'Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego'. SimCity was for the gifted yeshivish
kids. (Don't foget Rabbi Eisenmann's 'Save the Jews' on Fridays)
- Your knitted yamulka had your nickname on it, or your basketball number,
and it was made by a girl you "used" to be going out with. You
still own that yamulka. You still hate that girl.
- The only way you kept in touch with friends from camp/NCSY was writing
letters…your end of the letter included stuff like "KIT",
"Friends4ever", "love (heart symbol) always,".It also had more than 2 P.S.'s under your name.
- You once asked a girl out in one of those letters.
- You went to highschool with the Beastie Boys.....you also know at least 5
people who got kicked out of MTA.
- When your class finished a parsha, the "siyum" consisted of Stela Dora cookies (pareve
for the Cholev Yisroel kids), sour cream pringles, Shasta soda, peanut
chews, shoprite orange soda and no frills BBQ chips. You ate these things
all together, and tried to keep the siyum going as long as you could
in order not to go back to real class.
- You frequently played four squares and lineup at school (Girls played kick
ball, and hopscotch). Ga-ga and Capture the flag were
games for camp. You wish they had colorwar during school.
- Lag B'Omer was the best day of your life. Rosh Chodesh lunches were
to die for.
- Leg warmers were a girls only protection during a blizzard.
- Taking the bus to school was the only time you got to talk to the
opposite sex. If you sat in the same seat with a girl, it meant you
were "going out."
- You always wondered whether or not Pop Rocks were kosher. No matter,
as you ate them anyway.
- Going to NYC for Siyum Mishnayos was where you first learned about the existence of legal fireworks.
- 'Schtick' contests and 'make your own video nights' were your only
outlets to creativity.
- Your biggest worry about your bar mitzvah was not the laining, rather
it was what item you were going to give out to your friends at the party.
- You played in JCC soccer leagues religiously. For carpooling purposes, you always wound up on the all-orthodox jewish team. Your tzitis stuck out
no matter what.
- You took KaRa Miga.
- You thought the Billy Joel song 'Piano Man' was about Hashem. You
also assumed Billy Joel was obviously Jewish.
- You knew someone in the Miami Boys chior who was asked to leave the
group cause his voice changed.
- Girls who crimped their hair then, are almost garuanteed not to be
frum now.
- Shabbos was a time for sports…….and afterwards, pirchei.
These are just a few of hopefully many more to come. I invite everyone
to please add on more.
"Bless on it, Bless on it, Bless on and on on on on on it" -
Shlock Rock (Shlock Rock I)
Readers
Comments: Here are some additions we recieved
from other fellow banged up 80's kids:
From Aviva Moster Merion PA, TA class of '95
what about being stranded on the black bench during recess for whispering about Mrs. Bodenheim during davening? good times, good times...
From steve
goloskov
To be added to The Jewish 80s page.......
Signs you were Jewish in the 80's
- You couldn't wait for Mid-winter Shabbaton at the George Washington
Motor Lodge in Allentown, PA as you tried to figure out ways to successfully
sneak over to the "girls side" of the motel, and ways to sneak
a peak at girls swim on Friday afternoon. You also couldn't wait to see
the newest release of the NCSY sweat shirt.
- Runny scrambled eggs served out of a tin foil pan on Sunday morning
at Shabbatons.
- Hiding numerous bottles of soda under the table during Shabbos dinner,
so you could have your own Oneg in your hotel room.
- All Shabbos afternoon, you debated with your friends whether you should
go to Tov Pizza or Kosher Bite on Motzei Shabbos. Most of us just hung
out by the driveway that separated the two.
- Writing a 15 page letter (both sides) while in biology class to some
guy/girl you hung out with on the last day of the Shabbaton. Your parents
never allowed you to talk to him/her on the phone because long distance
rates were something like 25 cents per minute.
- Remember Matt and Lenny from Yachad (Seaboard)? Matt sang Hinay Ma Tov
non-stop, and Lenny (wasn't he from Lower Merion?) was always your "heavy
metal buddy", and reminded you of Rich, the copy guy from Saturday
Night Live ("makin' copies, the Richster, the rich-o-rama ding dong").
I miss them both.
- Purim at Rabbi Lowenbraun's.
- Spending almost every Shabbos afternoon at Bonnie and Joey Pollack's
house.
- You were there when Etan Goldman & Michael Reches first sang "Wash
This Way" at a mini- Shabbaton.
- You remember J.J Greenberg's 22-ft long purple Cadillac convertible.
- You spent the entire school year preparing your chapter's song for Spring
Regional.
- Whenever you hear "Hey Jude" by the Beatles, you replace the
words "Hey Jude" with "Seaboard".
- And finally, to add to Avi Frier's comment -- You're at a business meeting,
and when someone is finished speaking, you have to stifle the urge to
scream "Yechei! Heidad! Yechei! Heidad! Yechei! Heidad, Heidad, Heidad,
Heidad sis boom bah rah (insert chapter name or person) is out of site!
Yyyyyeeeeeeeyyyyyyyyyyy (insert chapter name or person)!
From the Definitive 80s Jew, Avi Frier
To be added to The Jewish 80s page.......
Man oh man, what a walk down memory lane! And to top it off, it's with all
of my Lower Merion "kids" many of whom are undoubtedly married with kids
of their own by now. What a kick! (Or "Bang" as we say here)
OK, here's my list of signs that you were an NCSYer in
the 80s...
- You were too cool (or too choked up) to speak, so you
just passed the candle, but 10 minutes later, you asked for it back.
- The closest you ever came to a prom was Spring Regional
Banquet. Who cares about being "King" or "Queen" when you're hoping for
NCSYer of the year?
- You can't listen to the song "We Didn't Start the Fire"
without remembering some NCSY parody (Lower Merion Chapter... Avi's Songs
are Stupid... We've Got a Strong Desire... The one I wrote with all of
the Malachot in it...) And Noach, of course Billy Joel is Jewish! Look
at all the songs he wrote for Seaboard Region alone!
- You're clearing the table on Shabbat and inadvertently
mix a few different drinks and assorted other garbage in one glass, conjuring
up memories of some poor advisor who you once made drink a mixture like
that in front of everyone.
- You're at a business meeting, someone gets up to speak,
and you have to stifle the urge to sing "Skip Around the Room."
- You see an old man wearing a loud plaid jacket and
suddenly find yourself wondering how Kraz and JJ are doing.
- You have a conversation with Etan Goldman today and
think, "My God, this guy hasn't changed a bit since 1987."
- You attend an NCSY Shabbaton in your community and
think "Wow, things have changed a lot since 1987" Then you see one kid
in particular and think, "Wow, that was ME."
Thanks for this site, Galenas, et al!
Avi Frier
From Dov Wasserman
Somewhere in your yearbook, there was a picture of Michael
Jordan slam-dunkin'.
You trashed NCSY for either being not-frum-enough or only-for-losers,
because you were secretly ashamed to acknowledge that you had made no
friends since 5th grade other than at NCSY Shabbatons.
You once laughed at older kid's joke about some girl being
"Shomer Negiah" before you really knew what it meant. You now suspect
he didn't either.
Your high shool dress code was definitely stricter in
the year you graduated than in the year you started. The school still
denies that it ever "moved to the right."
You specifically remember thinking that you wouldn't go
into your dad's profession. You now wish his firm had some openings.
You once conspired with two classmates to get a Navi test
ahead of time, calling your secret plan "Project Nevuah".
Early in high school, you were really looking forward
to graduating, when you would never have to open another "sefer" again
for the rest of your life. Senior year, you signed up for a extra year
of intensive learning in Israel.
Early on in Shanna Alef, you definitlely thought one year
was enough to "learn how to learn" so that you could open up a sefer anytime
you wanted to the rest of your life. When you still couldn't reliably
tell a "lamed" from a "tzaddi" in Rashi script by May, you signed up for
Shanna Bet.
Early on in college, you were excited by all the free
time you'd have to learn torah, what with only a single (secular) curriculum.
By your second semester, you were counting reading the parsha in English
as you heard it Shabbos morning as "shnayim mikrah, echad targum."
Either you, a sibling or a first-cousin were learning
in yeshiva in Israel during the Gulf War and stayed for (at least part
of) it. You secretly felt this gave you some added authority to speak
about war in your freshman college Civics/Sociology class.
You remember thinking that you would *never* do drugs.
Or is that just a bad flashback?
You had heated discussions with your parents about speaking
Hebrew at home and maybe moving to the Holy Land, after reading about
this new fiery Jewish leader Thedore Herzl. Sorry, that's the Jewish 1880's.
From Josh Gonsher
, Omaha, NB: Teacher and Role Model of Today's Youth:
You know the yachad guy who always talks forever? I think his name was always
Joel, remember trying to get him to talk to your brother about whatever
he was rambling about? "hey Joel, ask Ben. he's done X a hundred times."
and then, when Ben (your brother) got wise to your tricks, he'd send Joel
back over to you. and then the vicious cycle would continue until he tried
walking you home. he would be so excited always. "Man joel, chill. don't
announce the page numbers four hundred times. thanks. joel, be quiet."
Joel would always be singing so loud, off key and even though he was 28,
would still go up to daven anim zemiros.
From
Seth Galena, Merion, PA:
-You thought the song .."heaven is a place on earth" was referring to
a trip to Overbrook Market after Mishmar
From
Meir Resnick, Bala Cynwd, PA:
-Being cool meant wearing a white benetton shirt with the blue stripe across
the middle, which you got when you and your "girlfriend" took the 44 bus
to Suburban Square.
-The only time we could use a gun was at the Pesach store (or Kops house)
-Hey, does every school have an elevator that no one has ever been in? -
-As strict as you were in Kashrus somehow the soft pretzel and orange punch
at JCC awards ceremony slipped by...
From Sam
Garfield, Ardmore, PA: Saftey Captain 1986-1987
-The "at risk" yeshivish kids always tried to befriend the LM kids as they
viewed them as their only chance to access girls and TV.
-Going out with a girl meant that you talked to her all day at the Zackai's
on shabbos.
-The "saftey"s on the bus misused and abused their position as most powerful
students in the school.
-Nobody had any clue that Mr Ben's first name was actually Noble... except
Nevil and he couldn't speak english.
From
D. Rappaport,, Lower Merion Chapter Board 1988
-Avi Friar was the coolest guy in the world! -
From
Avi Korn, Merion, PA: TA highschool Almuni speaker:
-Baggy, over-sized clothing is cool, except when you wear shirts that extend
past your shorts- then people wonder if youre actually wearing shorts...
From Yael
Galena,,college campus correspondent
It was all about who got picked first for machanayim...
From
Seth Galena, Merion, PA:
-Ongoing shabbos boardgames, such as Risk and Monopoly were intense. However,
the instant shabbos was over they somehow completely lost their appeal to
you.
From Mindy
Mallin , Merion, PA:
-From a girl whose skirt was ALWAYS considered too short for TA - Not
knowing who to be more scared of it being seen by: Rabbi Rubin vs. Mrs.
Farrior. The inappropriateness of the above mentioned skirts being the
only thing these two ever didn't argue about. -
From
Seth Galena, Merion, PA:
-The Havdala service consisted of the telephone ringing while you checked
the movie listings for what was playing. You hated when they turned off
the light for Borai Morai HaAish as you always lost your place in the newspaper.
From
Avi Korn, Merion, PA: TA highschool Almuni speaker:
-Everyone so sure that the "pop-rocks with coke will make you explode" claim
is a total rumor, yet no one dares try ....
From
M. Zauderer, Merion, PA:
-The most goyish food you could think of was Oreo cookies.
From Seth Galena,
Merion, PA:
-It was an unspoken rule that you were not allowed to spin or corner serve
while competing in shabbos Ping Pong tournaments.
From Israeli Correspondents
Isaac Galena , Merion, PA and
Judah Levine, Katamone, ISRAEL
- 13 years old, still going to candyman: "Its for my little sister" or send
little kid to get candy for you.
- Full contact, 5 on 5, slam dunk contest, 5-3-1 tourney
nerf B-ball: every kid in your class in your room, stench of little boy
sweat= broken. bar-mitzvah presents and woken up scantily clad pissed
off parents.
-Anim Z'miros: most embarrassing moment of your childhood.
-You'll gladly spill your little brother's blood for
a shot at a candybag.
- New suit= another crotch to be torn.
- Spending all shabbos afternoon looking for the tennis
ball in the bush.
- No eruv = kick tennis ball to shul.
- 15 bags of pop corn, chips and old PB+J on the bottom
of your backpack.
- 2 completions = first down.
- butts up till you bleed.
- greatest game ever: siddur/chumash baseball.
- two words: ferrera pan.
- MadLibs: what the hell is an adverb?
- Losing your kippah at recess and being compelled to
endure a full day of wearing the black silk tee-pee yarmulke.
- All shabbos pants have grass stains from previous shabbos.
- Mom forces you to put on plastic bags BEFORE putting
on ridiculous red rubber boots.
- Yeshivish fruit roll-ups: big fruit leather- one flavor,
apricot Reeses Pieces, Kit Kat, Hershey's= Jewish. Three Musketeers, M+M's,
charms Blow Pops= Goyish
- Capri f-in Sun- straw in bottom= cool.
- Tu-B'shvat buckser/carob fights.
- Selling chocolate bars to your gentile neighbors.
- Hotwheel suitcase, for the 8 yr old on the go.
send comments about this article to correspondent, Noach Bernstien,
Bangin' it from the hieghts
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