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The Daily Bang Archives: Before the West Side was won momoney Questions New Yorkers can Never Answer travis from Queens TV: Bad for Israel? arye dworken Date to keep in Shape benji joffee Film: Conjuring Before G-d Jon Duker YU Chooses New Pres Eli Clark Jewish Deep Thoughts Ari Greenberg Inside Dougies Evan K. Observant Observations of OZ simmy kustanowitz Jew Years Resolutions jenn goldi Hollywood L'atid Lavoh Jordan Hiller Meeting the Parents Scorecard Gary Strong and Avi Korn Jewish Featured Headlines arye dworken Canceling Simchat Torah? Leah Granoff The UWS "Al Chaits" Isaac Galena Choose you own Dating Adventure Ahava Leibtag Entertainment Rebbis Isaac Galena The Dating Dictionary Ahava Leibtag Single Gal Wedding Guide Jessica R./Jessica M. New York Vs. Out of Town Chuck Cohen WWF star Chyna, Frum? Arye Dworken Dividing things Jewish and Goyish Isaac Galena The Jewish 80's Noach Bernstien Datin, the Cheap Way Avi Korn J-escort service Eli Goldmann "It" Girl Miriam Abramowitz Foot-IN-Mouth Epidemic Avi Korn Jaded by Zemiroth Lon Smolensky Purim Special Report Judah Levine Press Your Luck Danny Fax Upper West Side Story Arye Dworken Guta Neshama Hunting Arye Dworken Casting Calls to Conference Calls Isaac Galena		the kosher daily bang presents: Entertainment Characters who would make great Rebbes (lehavdil) a special report from bangitout rabbinic intern Isaac Galena NEW reader comments Have you watched a movie and thought to yourself, "My gosh, this character is so my 7th grade Rebbi" or " Wow, That's something only a Rabbi would say", or "Gee, that Columbo is Chasidic!" Oh well, maybe it's just a personal thing, however; many times I've found myself seeing extremely Jewish concepts and characters in the greatest and strangest of movies, TV shows and in entertainment overall. (Which makes sense, since according to most of my coworkers, "Jews run the Media" woohoo!) Anyhow, I decided one day to document a list of notable characters and personas from around the entertainment spectrum, who, to me, would make phenomenal Rebbiem and Jewish Leaders; that is, if in fact, they were circumcised and associated with our demented observant world. So now, I beg you to send me your own list of characters, entertainers, authors and trend-setters who to you have that intrinsic Yidishe Neshama that any Jew can spot. Keep an eye out, trust me, they are everywhere, everywhere: Bang this... Mr Miyagi -Old wise rebbi who speaks in choppy English (Shanghai Mir Yeshiva). Constantly makes you clean up the Bais medrash, while in reality, he is teaching you how to fight the Yatzer hara. Morpheus from the Matrix - focuses mostly on Inyunay Moshiach, Tchiyas Hamaysim, Gilgulim and his life's work "the Olam ha emes Vs. the Olam Ha sheker." Yoda - The Gadol Hador, who is visited by people from around the world for brochas and shaylas, but many are too scared to approach because of his saintly Godlus. Gene Hackman in Hoosiers - The small town chabad rebbi, who mikaraves an entire community in Indiana. DA Adam Schiff from Law&Order - Old school Lower East Side Rebbi who can answer any kasha with a brilliant one liner. Braveheart - Chizuke in musar, avodas Hashem, and strong love for Eretz Yisroel - Strong proponent of never giving away land for peace. Robbin Williams in Good Will Hunting - The rebbi who's cool enough to relate to, even if you smoke cigarettes and are a genius apikorais (great for those who love gematria) Tim Robbins in Shawshank Redemption -Ideal Rebbi for Emunah, Bitachone and Zechiras Yetsias Mitzrayim. Steven Speilberg - Passionate visionary rebbi, who can paint the most vivid imagery of any challenging sugiah or midrash. Steve Martin in Roxanne - Funny Rebbi who you come to for dating and shiduch problems. PoliceWoman in Fargo, "Marge" (Frances McDormand) - genius Rebbetzin who is quiet , respectful and snieus, but really knows and gives the Teretz to everything. Anthony Hopkins (Hannibal lechter) in Silence of the Lambs - Knows all of Shaas cold, but has gone completely off the derech and is longer is shomair kashrus. Neighbor from Home Improvement - local next door neighbor rebbi you can ask personal day to day kashas to, anonymously. Lester Bangs from Almost Famous - The unpopular uncool rebbi who's always home, for late night phone shmoozing. Dr. Robert "Rocket" Ramano from ER - the "always right" arrogant rebbi, who most people can't stand, but knows much more Torah and Halacha than any one around. Doogie Hauser MD - The Elazar Ben Azaryah kid ilui, who learns a lesson from everything, and then types it up and posts his dvrei Torah on the Internet. The Godfather - the preeminent rebbi for Yiras Hashem, Milchamos Hashem and Cavode Mishpachos. He will always give you a teretz that you can't resist. Mick from Rocky - the old stubborn rebbi who never gives up on a Tosfose Bob Dylan - Most influential world renowned Midwest folk singing rebbi and Magid,whose words and nigunim are heartfelt through entire klall Yisroel. Although, he has become estranged and incoherent in recent days, his son Yaacov will probably succeed him. Larry King - definitely a Menahel or Mashgiach, who gives Fahairs, Bechinas and interviews to prospective talmidim. Always wearing shtatty suspenders for potential donators and fundraising opportunities Jesse "The Body" Ventura - In Your Face, tough, motivational, solid rosh yeshiva, who doesn't care about anything but Gemara and the NFL. (YU's Rav Dovid Hirsh wannabee) John Stewart - NCSY Shabbaton head, and hysterically amazing "fundraiser" speaker. Although, not technically a rabbi, he has some smicha from some unknown place in Israel. Billy Crystal in Princess Bride - Miracle Max- That Funny old yedishe grandfather rebbi, who spends most of his time making really corny Jewish jokes, primarily about his wife Dear Abby - The world renowned rebbetzin who can answer all "Shidduchim" problems. Rivers Cuomo from Weezer - Nerdy, Thick glasses, YU masmid in Rav Rosenswieg's Shiur; who, although no one knows his name, is renowned for wearing the same clothing everyday and singing late night in the bais medrash R Sholomo's "Mizmor Shiru L'Hashem". Andy Rooney from 60minutes: Old famous Rebbi who focuses primarily on writing the most interesting and weird RJJ Journal articles, which ofcourse, no one reads, but everyone quotes. please send all comments, questions, feedback to rabbinic intern, Isaac Galena Readers Comments: From Ephraim Cheron: Professor Dumbledore - The Rosh Yeshiva of Hogwarts School in Harry Potter. He exemplifies proper middos. And he tells his main Talmid, "It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities." From Kitkoplet1@aol.com, that was so funny!! you should make more of those kinda comparisons, i love them From P Kassai, You forgot Jim Morrison the gadol in nister, the rebbi from tfass w/ mystical teachings written in code that one can only desipher in shiur on acid From Jonathan Abraham, re steven hill: not only does he wear teffilin, he wears a bekeshe and a black hat (and his son wears a streimel) (steven hill is a Skverr Hassid) From Brian Ertel, Jerry dude! Jerry! I can't believe no one has suggested Jerry Garcia. The leader of thousands spanning multiple generations. Teaching the masses to serve Hashem with simcha and to look at thinks in a positive way. "One in a while you can get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right." Bob Marley: The He is bucky in Zohar, encourages armed struggle for the Holy land and tremendous Ahavas Yisroel and places great value in taking Vodka as a frequent exercise in transcendence... From Steve Goloskov, Fyvush Finkel from Boston Public: The Rabbi of the conservadox shul who stands by the door after Adon Olam on Shabbos and shakes all of the men's hands, and kisses all of the women on the cheek. Mel Brooks: How could you forget him? The reform Rabbi who can always be found on Sunday mornings at the bagel shop, swapping jokes with others from his shul's Men's Club. Uncle Jesse from the Dukes of Hazzard: Old Rebbe from Atlanta (he does drive a pick-up), who always has an interesting D'var Torah about proper Derech Eretz (usually refers to generations past). Unfortunately though, his kids have gone off the derech. Roscoe P. Coltrane: The Yeshiva day school principle, who no matter how hard he tries, is always outsmarted by the kids, and can never restore order in the school. KITT from Knight Rider: Your local Kashrus organization's secretary ("Michael, I'm sorry, but I wouldn't recommend you try that"). From David Alhadeff, Training Staff from Top Gun "Jester"-Michael Ironside/"Viper"-Tom Skeritt......The total embodiment of what Rabbis should be today. Legalists. Flat out followers of Shulhan Arukh and supporters of Capital Punishment. "You Went Below The Hard Deck, and Broke a Major Rule of Engagement!!!!!" Charlie - Kelly McGillis A Sy Syms grad turned reform trainee who fulfills a life long ambition by attempting to prove a point in instructing a group of young men. But when push comes to shove, the masculinity that Cruise (Screw Jerry Maguire, this movie is what he is all about ) and Kilmer posess, prove that she can only be a feminist for so long before giving in to why she was really chosen for the film. Maybe next time she applies for a job like this, she'll learn her lesson and get a response like: "Negative Ghostrider, the Pattern is Full!!!" From David Alhadeff, Paul Gleason from Breakfast Club and Die Hard amongst others. Jordan, I cant believe you forgot him........ Reason- A washed up, over the hill (thats what he was in the Club) , on the verge of retirement high-school rabbi who cant handle the fact that his students know more than he does. In Die HArd He was a Deputy chief of police on the most dominant police force in the country; The LAPD, and nobody listened to a word he said. Hes the type that would monitor an MTA Lunchroom brawl where the cook would get thrown out the window and hed say, "We're gonna need some more Cooks I guess." From Atara Neuer, Regarding media characters who have a yiddishe neshama- walter from the big lewbowski-who knew that a low class white trash hick who isnt even jewish would be shomer f'in shabbos? Krissy from three's company:your dumb blonde female gemara "frum" at brovenders- sexy and naive, but feminist when it comes down to it. From David Wilner, Ephrat, Israel How could you have left out Spock.... "The Needs of the Many Outweigh the Needs of the Few," and so much more...?!! Loved your page From J-trick Hiller maybe a rebbi... sean connery in idiana jones and the last crusade chevy chase in national lampoons vacation ricardo montelbon (spelling?) from fantasy island From Ephraim Shapiro Some I couldnt help noticing myself: Tag Team-Anne Robinson (host of the weakest link) and Judge Judy, Definitely my scariest nightmare of pre-school morahs. Cliff Klavan is that rebbe you never actually had a class with but is just always there-in the hallway, library, lobby ,etc.-spewing obscure facts on things that have no bearing on your existence. South Park Chef-The repulsive yeshiva or camp cook that can whip up a cholent at a moment's notice and then lead an all night kumzits behind the building. Richard Mulligan (ala empty nest, etc) - Rabbi Dr. Reiner Shlita Bill Cosby-That guy from those platonic tapes in that yeshiva in israel that thinks he's so funny. BTW I'm sure you know that Steven Hill (the DA from Law & Order) wears tefillin. Later boys, keep up the good work! From Michael Steinhart Sean Connery in just about everything! He's the tough bar mitzvah teacher in Highlander. He's the no-nonsense lawgiver in The Untouchables. ("He pulls an acharon,you pull a rishon. He puts one of yours in the Mir, you put one of his in Ponovezh! That's the Bnei Brak way!") He's the hardworking shliach in Medicine Man. And I didn't see Finding Forrester. - but he's probably something there, too. And have you noticed that people who actually do play rebbes on TV and in movies suck at reading Hebrew? Who can forget that scene in The Chosen where Reb Saunders breaks his teeth on "Baruk atoh ado-noi eloheynoo melek ho'olom...hamotzi lekkem min ho'oretz!") LOVE bangitout -- you guys rock!