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The Daily Bang Archives:

Tom Petty's It Isn't Shiayach
Adam Kenigsberg

The Simpsons, Jewish?
Robert Schneider


The Real Slim Shloimie
Eli Levin

Not so Glamorous in Glamour
Kyra Lindsay

Jewish Honest Classified Ads
Miriam Lazar and Deena Grant

How to teach in English in China
Sarah Galena

Who wants to marry a Boro Park Millionaire
martin bodek

My Sister's Grand Dragon Boyfriend
Alisa green

80's movie UWS Dating Lessons
Remfan

Modern Orthodox Quiz
Ahava Leibtag

National Geographic's Journey to the Upper West Side
Avi Korn

60 ways to appear frum and intellectual
Michael Winner and others

Before the West Side was Won
Momoney

Questions New Yorkers can Never Answer
travis from Queens

TV: Bad for Israel?
arye dworken

Date to keep in Shape
benji joffee

Film: Conjuring Before G-d
Jon Duker

YU Chooses New Pres
Eli Clark

Jewish Deep Thoughts
Ari Greenberg

Inside Dougies
Evan K.

Observant Observations of OZ
simmy kustanowitz

Jew Years Resolutions
jenn goldi

Hollywood L'atid Lavoh
Jordan Hiller

Meeting the Parents Scorecard
Gary Strong and Avi Korn

Jewish Featured Headlines
arye dworken

Canceling Simchat Torah?
Leah Granoff

The UWS "Al Chaits" Isaac Galena

Choose you own Dating Adventure Ahava Leibtag

Entertainment Rebbis
Isaac Galena

The Dating Dictionary
Ahava Leibtag

Single Gal Wedding Guide
Jessica R./Jessica M.

New York Vs. Out of Town
Chuck Cohen

WWF star Chyna, Frum?
Arye Dworken

Dividing things Jewish and Goyish
Isaac Galena

The Jewish 80's
Noach Bernstien

Datin, the Cheap Way
Avi Korn

J-escort service
Eli Goldmann

"It" Girl
Miriam Abramowitz

Foot-IN-Mouth Epidemic
Avi Korn

Jaded by Zemiroth
Lon Smolensky

Purim Special Report
Judah Levine

Press Your Luck
Danny Fax

Upper West Side Story
Arye Dworken

Guta Neshama Hunting
Arye Dworken

Casting Calls to Conference Calls
Isaac Galena

(Sing to the tune of Tom Petty’s “Free Falling”)

Need a good girl, frum but not crazy

Loves Torah, and Israel too

Need a good girl, she has to be tznius

Covers elbows, and her knees covered too

It’s a long day, learning in yeshiva

Reading Rashi, Tosafos, and Tur

I got a dream girl, running through my daydreams

And I hope that, Hashem sends me her

Cause I neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed, need a kallah

Yeah I neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed, need a kallah.

And the Shadchan, costs a thousand dollars

And he sends me, girls with no class

C’mon Shadchan, get your act together

Cause I’m waiting, to finally break the glass

And I neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed, need a kallah

Yeah I neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed, need a kallah

(background vocals: need kallah yeah I, need kallah yeah I, need kallah yeah I, need kallah yeah I)

So I’m looking, for an Eishes Chayil

Mi yimtza, that’s what I want to know.

Now I’m sick of, browsing through Frumster

And a chatroom, is no place to go

But I neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed, need a kallah

Yeah I neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed, need a kallah

ã 2002, Adam Kenigsberg

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Reader Comments HERE

From Sharon Riemer:
Adam, I am begging you to grace my Shabbos table next Shabbos singing your song. I am excited about your newfound composition skills and I think this can replace the zmiros I know you are planning on seeing. I can't wait until Shabbos!

From Avigail:
This is Fantastic! I'm cryin' it's so funny!