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The Daily Bang Archives: How to teach in
English in China
Who wants to marry a Boro
Park Millionaire
My Sister's Grand Dragon Boyfriend
80's movie UWS Dating Lessons
National Geographic's Journey to the Upper West Side
60 ways to appear frum and intellectual
Before the West
Side was Won
Questions New
Yorkers can Never Answer
TV: Bad for Israel?
Date to keep in Shape
Film: Conjuring Before G-d
YU Chooses New Pres
Jewish Deep Thoughts
Inside Dougies
Observant Observations of OZ
Jew Years Resolutions
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Meeting the Parents Scorecard
Jewish Featured Headlines
Canceling Simchat Torah?
The UWS "Al Chaits" Isaac Galena Choose you own Dating Adventure Ahava Leibtag
Entertainment Rebbis
The Dating Dictionary
Single Gal Wedding Guide
New York Vs. Out of Town
WWF star Chyna, Frum?
Dividing things Jewish and Goyish
The Jewish 80's
Datin, the Cheap Way
J-escort service
"It" Girl
Foot-IN-Mouth Epidemic
Jaded by Zemiroth
Purim Special Report
Press Your Luck
Upper West Side Story
Guta Neshama Hunting
Casting Calls to Conference Calls
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bangitout
reality t.v. presents: One Buchur, Ten Maidalach, One Gold Bracelet—who will he choose?
Episode 1 | Episode 2 | Episode 3 |
Let’s meet the first five Maidalach: Chana Sora Pletzel - Chana, age 21, is a bookkeeper
for Moishe’s fine gold and diamonds on 47th street in NYC.
Her hobbies include simcha dancing and browsing onlysimchas.com Mashie Leah Abramowitz - Mashie, age 17, is a junior
at Prospect Park high school. Her
best “midos” are kept undercover, or so her parents think, but the
bochrim living around Ave. P know otherwise. Ahuva Aleeza Zelmowitzker - Ahuva, age 23, is a
physical therapist at the Mount Sinai Medical Center.
She is a graduate of Stern College for Woman where, during her
wild and crazy years, actually went out on two shidduch dates in the
same week! Beena Freidel Kornhoisen - Beena, age 45, is a
veteran first grade teacher at PS 106 in the Bronx.
Her previous three marriages ended up with a Get Ceremony, with
Beena claiming that “all her husbands just didn’t understand
life.” For the record,
the men claim she was a heroine addict. Stacy Sudds - Stacy, age 19, is a waitress and a
dancer at Scores in NYC. When
asked why she wanted to be a part of the show, Stacy responded by saying
that there was something about the way that the Hasidim always touch her
and shower her with money, that
she knows what she now wants in a man.
-------------------------------------------- Welcome back to The Buchur.
As we left you last time, we had just met the first five
maidalach who were vying to become Yankel Dov Feffercorn’s kallah. In this week’s episode, we will meet The Buchur and learn
(pardon the pun) a little about him. Yankel Dov, formerly knows as Andrew David, is a
Buchur hailing from the mean streets of Flatbush, Brooklyn. Having been thrown out of FLATBUSH, MTA, RAMAZ and Midwood
High School all in the span of three years, Andrew spent his senior-year
of high school working for Baskin Robbins at Kings Plaza. While earning a measly $5.10 an hour and sensing his life was
headed nowhere, he began to wonder how he could turn his life around,
make his parents and friends happy and somehow get back in his
father’s good graces---after all, his father had some sort of
successful business and was always taking good care of his siblings.
And then it hit him. He
knew that if he entered the Yeshivash world and faked learning for a few
hours a day, he could have his father support him and he would be home
free. That night, Andrew
applied to every Yeshiva in Brooklyn and was accepted by Yeshiva Rodef
Nushim, one he had never heard of, but nonetheless was a Yeshiva.
Andrew quickly became Yankel Dov, and within weeks of entering
Yeshiva, he was driving his very own Lexus SC that daddy had purchased. Well, its been four long years since then and
Yankel is dedicated as ever. He
recently transferred to the Mir, and his Rabbieim have convinced him
that it’s time to get hitched. Commenting
on his hobbies, Yankel claims that “Eppis, I don’t really have
hobbies, except learning and smoking because all else is Bittel Zman.”
Yankel’s wardrobe consists of 7 white shirts and three pairs of
black pants and when he gets that urge to go all out he says “I throw
on a blue custom shirt to mix it up a bit.” When asked about future plans for a job, Yankel
confides that he has no plans for a ever working, and he hopes this show
will allow him to meet a maidala whose daddy takes good care of her. And if that fails, “There are always good money laundering
scams to get involved with here in Brooklyn. --------------------------------------------
Welcome back to the Buchur. When we last left you, we had just been introduced to the Buchur and got a peek into his shady life….then again, how many Buchrim don’t have shady lives? Now it’s time to meet the remaining five maidalach, but while we do so, The Buchur will spend a few minutes on Shnayim Mikra. Shaindel Maidela Yelkowitznker - Shaindel, age 24, is a student at Touro, and has been working really hard this semester on passing her first class to get her first ever college credits. She claims that after 3 years of trying to pass one class, this would be her biggest accomplishment to date. Malka Breinhouse - Malka, age 27, is perhaps the girl that everyone talks about but no one knows. See, her sister, Leah Breinhouse, stopped her own wedding under the Chuppah and said that she couldn’t marry a guy that slept with her sister the night before. Malka denied the whole story, but according to my friend’s rebbe, who happened to be Misadair Kiddushin, he caught Malka and the Chussan in the Yichud Room while the guests enjoyed the dinner that night. Pesse Kleinsassuer-Jacobowitz-Lutvig - Pesse, age 29, is the daughter of one of three men, although none can be sure who the real father is. Her mother, now in drug-rehab, slept with three Hasidic men outside Stillettos one night, and Pesse refuses to take a DNA test. Instead, she still blackmails each of the men and receives money every month to keep the whole incident quiet. Hinda Goldberger - Hinda, age 75, is currently single and enjoys needlepoint and walking along Ocean Parkway. She hopes that by coming on this show, she can audition for the Golden Girl reunion tour. Nechama Bloomie Schvitzhoisen - Nechama, age 21, is a Boro Park girl, with Boro park views, and the Boro Park garb. She claims to have won the Miss Boro Park Title several years back, although the produces of The Buchur can not verify that claim. Now that we have met all the lovely Maidalach, it’s time to pull the Buchur out of the Bais Medrash and let him get to know each of the ladies and see who thinks is most Geshmak!
Stay tuned to next week for the first shidduch dates.
. -----------------------------------------------------------
From mozal92@yahoo.com
I don't know what's funnier...the bochur stories
or the absurd pishers whose letters actually take it seriously. Keep it
up, all of you...you're, mamish, a riot!...............Yitz
From Shira ppl - learn to take a joke! The bochur made fun of the yeshivesh world just like other articles on bangitout made fun of reform, modern-orthodox, and all other types of jews. If I'm not mistaken the bangitout is "a place where jews can laugh at themselves" not other people, themselves. I thought the bochur was very cute and funny. You should have written the second installment. Shira
from Leoconfresca@aol.com The author's hatred for anything even remotely "Yeshivish" oozes out of every sentence. Perhaps you should rename your website "where 'with it' Jews come to laugh ... at primitive Jews". The author's desire to stereotypically tar every segment of the Jewish world suffers from a very narrow- mindedness typical of those he seeks to portray.
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