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The Bochur
yitz farbowitz

Is Ellen Feiss Jewish
?
seth galena

Tom Petty's It Isn't Shiayach

Adam Kenigsberg


The Simpsons, Jewish?
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The Real Slim Shloimie
Eli Levin

Not so Glamorous in Glamour
Kyra Lindsay

Jewish Honest Classified Ads
Miriam Lazar and Deena Grant

How to teach in English in China
Sarah Galena

Who wants to marry a Boro Park Millionaire
martin bodek

My Sister's Grand Dragon Boyfriend
Alisa green

80's movie UWS Dating Lessons
Remfan

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Ahava Leibtag

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Avi Korn

60 ways to appear frum and intellectual
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Before the West Side was Won
Momoney

Questions New Yorkers can Never Answer
travis from Queens

TV: Bad for Israel?
arye dworken

Date to keep in Shape
benji joffee

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Jon Duker

YU Chooses New Pres
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jenn goldi

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Jewish Featured Headlines
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Canceling Simchat Torah?
Leah Granoff

The UWS "Al Chaits" Isaac Galena

Choose you own Dating Adventure Ahava Leibtag

Entertainment Rebbis
Isaac Galena

The Dating Dictionary
Ahava Leibtag

Single Gal Wedding Guide
Jessica R./Jessica M.

New York Vs. Out of Town
Chuck Cohen

WWF star Chyna, Frum?
Arye Dworken

Dividing things Jewish and Goyish
Isaac Galena

The Jewish 80's
Noach Bernstien

Datin, the Cheap Way
Avi Korn

J-escort service
Eli Goldmann

"It" Girl
Miriam Abramowitz

Foot-IN-Mouth Epidemic
Avi Korn

Jaded by Zemiroth
Lon Smolensky

Purim Special Report
Judah Levine

Press Your Luck
Danny Fax

Upper West Side Story
Arye Dworken

Guta Neshama Hunting
Arye Dworken

Casting Calls to Conference Calls
Isaac Galena


 

 

 

bangitout reality t.v.  presents:

"
The Bochur"
by your host, yitz farbowitz

One Buchur, Ten Maidalach, One Gold Bracelet—who will he choose? 


 

Episode 1 | Episode 2 | Episode 3 |

  Welcome to the Buchur, as we join Yankel Dov Feffercorn on his wild three-week  journey to find his bashert.  Each week, Yankel will spend one quality hour with each of the maidalch, going from hotel lobbies to Barnes and Nobles throughout NYC, as he goes in search of a true Aishes Chayil.  At the end of the dates, the ladies will gather at the Boro-Park mikvah for dramatic shabbos robe ceremonies, with the losers taking the dip of shame.

Let’s meet the first five Maidalach:

Chana Sora Pletzel - Chana, age 21, is a bookkeeper for Moishe’s fine gold and diamonds on 47th street in NYC.  Her hobbies include simcha dancing and browsing onlysimchas.com

Mashie Leah Abramowitz - Mashie, age 17, is a junior at Prospect Park high school.  Her best “midos” are kept undercover, or so her parents think, but the bochrim living around Ave. P know otherwise.

Ahuva Aleeza Zelmowitzker - Ahuva, age 23, is a physical therapist at the Mount Sinai Medical Center.  She is a graduate of Stern College for Woman where, during her wild and crazy years, actually went out on two shidduch dates in the same week!

Beena Freidel Kornhoisen - Beena, age 45, is a veteran first grade teacher at PS 106 in the Bronx.  Her previous three marriages ended up with a Get Ceremony, with Beena claiming that “all her husbands just didn’t understand life.”  For the record, the men claim she was a heroine addict.

Stacy Sudds - Stacy, age 19, is a waitress and a dancer at Scores in NYC.  When asked why she wanted to be a part of the show, Stacy responded by saying that there was something about the way that the Hasidim always touch her and shower her with money,  that she knows what she now wants in a man. 


Stay tuned for scenes from our next episode to meet the remaining maidalach.

--------------------------------------------

Episode 2

Welcome back to The Buchur.  As we left you last time, we had just met the first five maidalach who were vying to become Yankel Dov Feffercorn’s kallah.  In this week’s episode, we will meet The Buchur and learn (pardon the pun) a little about him. 

Yankel Dov, formerly knows as Andrew David, is a Buchur hailing from the mean streets of Flatbush, Brooklyn.  Having been thrown out of FLATBUSH, MTA, RAMAZ and Midwood High School all in the span of three years, Andrew spent his senior-year of high school working for Baskin Robbins at Kings Plaza.  While earning a measly $5.10 an hour and sensing his life was headed nowhere, he began to wonder how he could turn his life around, make his parents and friends happy and somehow get back in his father’s good graces---after all, his father had some sort of successful business and was always taking good care of his siblings.  And then it hit him.  He knew that if he entered the Yeshivash world and faked learning for a few hours a day, he could have his father support him and he would be home free.  That night, Andrew applied to every Yeshiva in Brooklyn and was accepted by Yeshiva Rodef Nushim, one he had never heard of, but nonetheless was a Yeshiva.  Andrew quickly became Yankel Dov, and within weeks of entering Yeshiva, he was driving his very own Lexus SC that daddy had purchased. 

Well, its been four long years since then and Yankel is dedicated as ever.  He recently transferred to the Mir, and his Rabbieim have convinced him that it’s time to get hitched.  Commenting on his hobbies, Yankel claims that “Eppis, I don’t really have hobbies, except learning and smoking because all else is Bittel Zman.”  Yankel’s wardrobe consists of 7 white shirts and three pairs of black pants and when he gets that urge to go all out he says “I throw on a blue custom shirt to mix it up a bit.” 

When asked about future plans for a job, Yankel confides that he has no plans for a ever working, and he hopes this show will allow him to meet a maidala whose daddy takes good care of her.  And if that fails, “There are always good money laundering scams to get involved with here in Brooklyn.

Now that we have met The Buchur, stay tuned for next week when we meet the remaining five ladies who will try to outwit and outplay their challengers to become the The Buchur’s Kallah

--------------------------------------------

Episode 3

Welcome back to the Buchur. When we last left you, we had just been introduced to the Buchur and got a peek into his shady life….then again, how many Buchrim don’t have shady lives? Now it’s time to meet the remaining five maidalach, but while we do so, The Buchur will spend a few minutes on Shnayim Mikra.

Shaindel Maidela Yelkowitznker - Shaindel, age 24, is a student at Touro, and has been working really hard this semester on passing her first class to get her first ever college credits. She claims that after 3 years of trying to pass one class, this would be her biggest accomplishment to date.

Malka Breinhouse - Malka, age 27, is perhaps the girl that everyone talks about but no one knows. See, her sister, Leah Breinhouse, stopped her own wedding under the Chuppah and said that she couldn’t marry a guy that slept with her sister the night before. Malka denied the whole story, but according to my friend’s rebbe, who happened to be Misadair Kiddushin, he caught Malka and the Chussan in the Yichud Room while the guests enjoyed the dinner that night.

Pesse Kleinsassuer-Jacobowitz-Lutvig - Pesse, age 29, is the daughter of one of three men, although none can be sure who the real father is. Her mother, now in drug-rehab, slept with three Hasidic men outside Stillettos one night, and Pesse refuses to take a DNA test. Instead, she still blackmails each of the men and receives money every month to keep the whole incident quiet.

Hinda Goldberger - Hinda, age 75, is currently single and enjoys needlepoint and walking along Ocean Parkway. She hopes that by coming on this show, she can audition for the Golden Girl reunion tour.

Nechama Bloomie Schvitzhoisen - Nechama, age 21, is a Boro Park girl, with Boro park views, and the Boro Park garb. She claims to have won the Miss Boro Park Title several years back, although the produces of The Buchur can not verify that claim.

Now that we have met all the lovely Maidalach, it’s time to pull the Buchur out of the Bais Medrash and let him get to know each of the ladies and see who thinks is most Geshmak!

Stay tuned to next week for the first shidduch dates. .

-----------------------------------------------------------

Readers Comments: To submit your own comments to this list, please send an email to submit@bangitout.com: and include the title in the subject header. THANKS!

From SBG
hey! i like this parody on the Bachelor show its really funny keep it up.  sincerely,sbg

From mozal92@yahoo.com
HAAAAA!!! You guys are hysterical. The Bochur also reminds me of myself (sad to say) Your whole site is great (somewhat off color but great).I should be ashamed of myself for laughing at this garbage but it is too funny

From dthorne@mn.rr.com

I don't know what's funnier...the bochur stories or the absurd pishers whose letters actually take it seriously.  Keep it up, all of you...you're, mamish, a riot!...............Yitz

From Shira
ppl - learn to take a joke! The bochur made fun of the yeshivesh world just like
other articles on bangitout made fun of reform, modern-orthodox, and all other types of jews. If I'm not mistaken the bangitout is "a place where jews can laugh at themselves" not other people, themselves.
I thought the bochur was very cute and funny. You should have written the second installment.
Shira  


From
CBrons84@aol.com
yankel aka andrew aka the buchur is my causin.you should be ashamed to write all that loshen hora about him,now he will not be able to find a fine shidoch.rachmono letzlan.nebach



from Leoconfresca@aol.com

The author's hatred for anything even remotely "Yeshivish" oozes out of every sentence. Perhaps you should rename your website "where 'with it'  Jews come to laugh ... at primitive Jews". The author's desire to stereotypically tar every segment of the Jewish world suffers from a very narrow- mindedness typical of those he seeks to portray.


From nelly_colman@msn.com:

oy vey...


 
 



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