The Daily Bang

1 - A Man of Valor, who can find? We're just asking for someone with a full head of hair

2 - His wife's heart trusts his credit, and he won't lack any fortune, so long as he doesn't marry a girl from long Island.

3 - He brings no harm since he is whipped, all the days of his life

4 - He seeks out wool and linen....hey wait a second isn't that like assur?

5 - He is like a Merchant ship, picking up girls at bars on the East and West side

6 - He gets up while it is still night, while he's still in that analyst program over at Goldman Sachs

7 - He chooses a house in Teaneck and buys it, paying off the mortgage with the fruits of his (in-laws) labor

8 - With strength, he builds our book shelves from Ikea. When people ask where we got them from, he says Ethan Allen, without batting an eyelash

9 - He discerns that he will have to work until his late 60's in order to make sure that his kids can all go to college and get a good shiduch, and so his lamp is never snuffed out at night ( i just wanted to say snuffed)

10 - He stretches out his hand to put down the toilet seat, and his Palmolive does the dishes.

11 - He opens his Palm pilot to figure out the best place to go for dinner and waves his hand in a gesture that says, no need to worry about the 5 dollar signs posted on Vindigo!

12 - He has no fear of the snow for his family, because ski conditions at Killington are good and all of his family is dressed in North Face.

13 - He never makes the bed, but that's okay since he let's you pick out his clothes

14 - His wife is well known at the shul, where she has the finest hats and a wig made by Ralf himself

15 - He trades stocks and security bonds; his clientele supply him with season tickets center court, so I can go see chick flicks with my girl friends

16 - Strength and fitness are not his trademark, instead, he wears his bear belly with pride, as do all the other married men at shul

17 - He opens his mouth with something to say, but I quickly cut him off

18 - He doesn't know anything about housework, but then again, neither do I, since we have live-in help. Wait a second, which dishes are milchig again?

19 - His children stand up and ask him for spending cash, his wife lauds him as they are the finest dressed in all the shul

20- Many men have amassed achievement, but none of them have been the shul president for as many consecutive terms as you

21- False is charm and good looks, that's why you see so many Jewish couples that make you ask: "what's she doing with him?"

22- Give him some credit for supporting the family and let him play Playstation instead of dragging him to another friend's l'chaim

Readers Comments:

submit an article | bang isaac | bang seth | slut gear | mom

			Bang us Feedback: bang isaac bang seth
the daily bang \| movies that bang \| music that bangs \| torah that bangs \| forwards that bang \| kosher top 10 \| apartments \|x-change \| home