10. Esther would be chosen based on your votes ala American Idol (standard text rates due apply)

9.  US WEEKLY would coin the couple name: “Vachashverosh” and “Achashesther”

8. Book of records, actually just Achashverosh's blog archive

7.  Letters sent out to all the provinces would have a line at the bottom: “Forward this to 10 Friends Now”

6.  3 days of fasting & prayer would be called The “Save Esther and Darfur” Rally

5.  Mordechai would learn of Bigson/Teresh's plot at the water cooler

4. Haman would use a viral email campaign to get the message out about annihilating local Jews  

3. Zeresh would dump only the recyclables on Haman's Head

2. Haman execution would be posted on Youtube.com 

1. Esther would run for president in '12