10. You ate before you got to this shindig
9. Instead of 4 questions, you have one: “Relatives with combovers, WTF?”
8. You already figured out triage for the post plague Egyptian ER
7. You are baffled by why the Jews were in such a rush to bake bread, if God tells them days before they’ll need to make Matzah
6. You truly admire the rabbis who realized that theft, blackmail and parental extortion are the only things that can keep kids awake
5. You know the ‘full’ gematria of Matzah is 190, you know that the Jews were redeemed 190 years earlier than originally prophesied and you finish complex blackboard math equations while working as a Janitor at MIT
4 . You realize that all this detailed talk about the Exodus is a great way to avoid talking to your family about your substandard love life
3. You’d make a really lame Wicked Son
2. . You cherish the irony that on the one night to celebrate national freedom, you’re stuck in familial bondage
1 Finally gives a reason for your dad to say “Like father like son”