10. “100% kosher beef” stamp suddenly changed to  “73.5% kosher beef”
9.   Big sale sign outside reads: “Glatt Kosher Prosciutto”
8.   Not only guarantees it's Glatt Kosher, but assures you it is also cholov yisroel, pas yisroel, bli kitniyot and pareve!
7.   Swears he checks each individual cow for both fins and scales
6.   He's selling “Glatt” kosher cheeses
5.   When asking to see the Kosher symbol, he points to the circle R
4.   Quietly mumbles the word “style” to himself each time he says “kosher”
3.   Thought Kosher was just Hebrew for “wrapping it in loads of tin foil”
2.   Store named “Goldberg's Finest Hallal Meats”
1.   Thought the two sets of knives thing was for decorative purposes