10. Guest who offered to bring a side dish brings michlig salad dressing
9. The person you invited because you are interested in them, will end up making out with your roommate
8. The bathroom light will be off by end of night
7. A guest will call 1 minute before shabbos asking to bring four friends….your ex, his new girlfriend, your arch nemesis from college, and the girl that you have been to 50 meals with, but forgot her name.
6. If someone brought something that looks and tastes not kosher, it's probably a duck
5. If a Dvar Torah is started, one group/person will ignore it rudely and continue to talk until shushed. This is guaranteed.
4. It will cost you $300.
3. Two know-it-all Ivy League grads will get into a fight about 80s TV cartoon trivia question but then bond over how smart and successful they are in finance.
2. If you invite 1 person for dessert, expect 4 strangers in their forties wearing leather jackets
1. One little piggy you invited will not show, one will show 30 minutes late, one will show with an odd friend who is wearing jeans and smells like smoke , one will leave 30 minutes early, one will complain about food, one will get drunk and fall asleep on your couch and one will go all the way home, but not till 2am.
Welcome to the west side.