Top Ten Uses For Removed Foreskin, Post-Brit Milah
10. To make real-feel thimbles for marathon knitters
9. As cover for the 'finger' of the Torah pointer at the ben’s bar mitzvah
8. For rabbinically banned but persistently used good luck/mazal tov charm, by sewing into dust ruffle of chosn and kallah’s bed
7. Repair wounded tissue following mishap with a pants zipper
6. Approved as ‘vegetarian’ replacement for roasted shank bone on Passover seder plate
5. Known to be found on a shalach manos plate prepared by a drunken participant at a AdLoYada Purim party
4. Used as an 'offering' to repeal the ben’s fasting requirement at the fast-of-the-first-born tefillot
3. Declared kosher and pareve for use in dog food
2. Sexually deviant Frankists prepared helzel with it instead of using a chicken neck or gizzard
1. Replace burned tissue (from you-know-where) following X-rated fraternity hazing marshmallow roast