10. You choose your shul based on which one is serving Starbucks
9. You proudly stay up all night to show your enthusiasm for Matan Torah, then you pass out during actual Torah Reading
8. You have a strange sacrilegious feeling when eating lasagna, cheesecake and ice cream after kiddush
7. Someone has to mention the “Everyone's a little bit lactose intolerant” argument
6. First time anyone on earth has ever turned to the Kosher Palette's “Dairy Section”
5. Must roll eyes when anyone tries to explain the modesty of Ruth's late night visit to Boaz
4. No one is using their fine china
3. You notice people in supermarkets trying to gauge how many ice cream sprinkles is enough for 13 people
2. Anal Religious parents disappointed if kids don't “Stay out all night”
1. Lots of terribly Cheesy jokes