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The Kosher Top 10
Top 10 Jewish
Oxymorons
by Andrew Blitz from
Melborne and the bangitout.com staff
10) Jewish Organization
9) Breakaway Minyan
8) El Al Food
7) Singles Group
6) Israeli Culture
5) Fast Food
4) Plastic Silverware (uws meals)
3) Career Choice
2) Pareve Cholent
1) Orthodox Union
Readers Comments: To submit your own comments to this
list, please send an email to
submit@bangitout.com
: and include the title in the subject header. Include your name and location to
get credit! THANKS
FROM J. EFRAM (JT) TAUB, NYC:
JEWISH MAN
ORTHODOX FEMINIST
FRUM LIBERAL
From Dhengah Rov:
How this for a real Kosher oxymoron: "Singles Shul" If one goes to a "shul".
Presumingly he is going to try to connect with his creator through the
centuries old proven method of T'filah B'tzibur- Public Prayer. This of
course becomes a little bit more difficult, when, in the middle of "Y'he
Ch'vod Hashem L'olam" -Hashem's Glory should be forever, he's trying to look
out the corner of eye at the woman in the tight sweater that just walked in,
before she reaches the mechitzah. And in the middle of "Adon Olam"- Master
of the universe, he is trying to a get a glimpse of the babe with the three
buttons open on the other side of the Mechitzah. The question can be asked
conversely, if the babe on the other side of the Mechitza is here to
likewise connect with the creator through prayer, why is she wearing a short
tight leather skirt, with a tight blouse with 3 buttons open, and enough
perfume to put an asthmatic into respiratory shock. It's possible that she
was indeed trying to seduce the Ribono shel Olam into listening to her heart
felt supplications, but then, Oh why, is she trying to get a good look at
the GQ cover boy with leather kippah sitting next to the beamah? A little
bit of a steerah? And then why, after all the kvetching and whining and
complaining about the singles scene, When they both finally, finally, find
somebody and get married do they still come back to the same "Singles" Shul,
and still try to catch a glimpse of members of the opposite sex through the
mechitzah, presumably while trying to connect with their creator. Only now
it's harder because they have to look in such a way, that their spouses
won't notice that they're looking. So much for "single", So much for "shul".
From Anonymous:
Yehsiva University
Chupah at 6pm SHARP!
From Aaron B
Edah Chareidi
From Lance Hochberg
Dear Kisufim@hotmail.com,
Your venomous attack on fellow Jews who "should have left their yeshivot and
other American enclaves in Israel" indicates that while you have a fond
appreciation for Israeli culture, you seemingly don't have a fond
appreciation of all Jews. What does a yeshiva student learning and living in
Israel have to do with your argument? I have lived in Israel and studied in
a yeshiva there and do appreciate Israeli culture. I’m sure there are many
others like me. Before accusing others of making "glib generalizations" why
don't you avoid making them yourself!
ps. If you can't take a joke, then for heaven's sake, why are you reading
and posting on this site?!
Lance Hochberg
Canada
From kisufim@hotmail.com
I know that saying there is no Israeli culture is just a joke, but it
subliminally suggests a certain arrogance that Americans and others feel
towards Israel. What culture is there is bangiout, a site which
reviews the same generic movies and albums that can be seen on MTV, and
which is based on critiquing the social foibles of a community-the UWS,
that despite it's wealth and education seems to be materialistic, crass,
superficial, and confused. As an editor of a literary magazine, who's
written about American Jewish Culture, and sometime questions it's
existence, I suggest that the author[s] should have left their yeshivot
and other American enclaves in Israel and made an effort to look at
Israeli film, theater, and literature before making glib generalizations.
From Jeff Ballabon,
One word oxymoron: Edah
From Mike Edinger,
Sagi Nahor
From Elevenfor3@aol.com,
Jewish Music
From Mchill613@aol.com,
Young Israel. Most of them, including the one on the UWS, are full of old people.
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