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The Kosher Top 10
Top Ten common phrases
said to you when you come home for Shabbos from the West Side
BY:
Jen May, Alyssa
Shulman & Avi Dzik
10.
So… When am I going to hear some good news?
9.
What’s wrong with him? (referring to the token single 45 year old in
your Shul)
8.
You look good for your age…
7. You’re still on the West
Side- how many years has it been already?
6.
Have you ever tried that Rebbetzin Jungreis?
5.
OZ? ! I met my husband at Lincoln Square 20 years ago- that's the place to
be
4.
Don't worry, we’re all praying for you
3.
I have a cousin who got married at 40
2.
You’re too picky
1.
Nu?
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From
Anonymous, Jerusalem
"So how's the social life???"
From Rita Lourie Galena, Bayonne, NJ
I didn’t get married until I was 30,
so even though I didn’t have the opportunity to live on the UWS, I
heard all those same words with the addition of "what are you
waiting for?" I was mentally preparing to go to my younger
sister’s wedding, a nightmare I would not wish on any single girl.
I phoned my only other single friend from high school. I bemoaned,
"What will I do when every single one of my mother’s obnoxious
friends come over to say-"well, what about you?" She suggested
I retort with, "I’m a lesbian". I never had the nerve
to actually say this, but just knowing that these words would horrify
the over-50 crowd in Bayonne, NJ, was enough ammunition to go over to
cheerfully greet all the wedding guests. I did respond with
"Don’t hold your breath". My father, on overhearing me
say this said- that’s an improvement! What do you mean? I
thought you would reply- "Hold your breath!"
The Galena MOM
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