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The
Kosher Top 10
Top 10 signs you are running
late for Shabbos
by seth galena
10. Gentile co-workers
begin observing you intensely as they assume you'll turn into a vampire
once the clock hits sunset. There's a pool on if you'll make it home in
time at work. You bet against you.
9. You begin making
up outlandish adventure stories to tell your friends why you're so late
(you really just missed your train). All made-up stories have a police
chase involved.
8. Friendly Hassidic
man smiles as you drive by, then begins pelting your car with stones.
7. You can't help
but notice the Jewish people in suits entering the shul as you enter ShopRite
for an hour of fun filled food shopping. They must be making an early
shabbos....in the winter.
6. You arrive at synagogue
to see the janitor and those really weird dudes with bad suits and bad
teeth schmoozing. Because you didn't get to change or shower, you fit
right in.
5. Constructively
using the different time zones of the world, you've somehow extended your
18 minute window to a 7 hour and 18 minute window.
4. You have been listening to the same radio station report the same traffic
jams for 8 hours straight. You have the whole family singing along to
the radio commercials in the car.
3. You remove your
watch. You stop looking out your car window. Ignorance is bliss.
2. You rationalize
using your blowdryer, shaver, and microwave hoping they've gotta fit under
the "pikuach nefesh" clause somehow.
1. It's dark out.
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