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The Kosher Top 10
Top Ten Ways You Know You are Frum, but still Cool
by David Rosen
10. Your d'var Torahs end with "And it would be awesome, if this was
zocheh to bring about the days of Moshiach because he rocks!"
9. When the opposite sex offers to shake hands, instead of saying
"Sorry, I'm shomer", you comb your hand through the side of your hair and
say "Psyche!"
8. At the seder, when we pour out some wine for the ten plagues, you
mention the custom's reason is to "Pour out a little liquor" for Tupac and
all "the homies" that died in Egypt
7. You can easily mix up the yeshivish and secular slang: For example,
"Dude, that girl is sooo not shayach." "Damn, that Tisch was off the hizzy".
6. You use your IM name to give people chizuk: for example,
"613theIkar", "AllMinHashamayim", "StayOnTheDerech"
5. Although you can't curse anymore, you use kosher substitutes, like
"this is some flippin' bullspit"
4. You lament how, were it not for dina d'malchuta dina, you would be
toking up all the time
3. Though you only listen to Jewish Music, you're still "keeping it
real" by listening to Black Hattitude and Radical Rapping Rabbis
2. Your cellphone rings to the tune of Hava Nagila
1. You start a shuckling pit at the Yisroel Williger concert
Readers Comments: To submit your own comments to this
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get credit! THANKS
From JasonP0703
If you are the Gabai of shul and you are calling up someone up to the Torah you say," Come on down!"
From ~Danielle
Got another one for you guys...Somehow "BH, please make my
bashert hot" becomes incorporated in your davening...
From Sharon Riemer:
When you spot a really good looking frummie girl you mention to
your homies, "Dude, that girl is ta-hor."
From Michael Steinhart
11. Two words: Tommy Bek
[[it’s a Hilfiger Bekeshe – long story, but
many yeshiva guys will get it. And what are they doing on Bangitout.com
anyway?!]]
12.
You don’t watch TV anymore, but you have a ‘friend’ who tells you
all about the latest shows and what’s happening on them.
13.
You get 80% or more of the jokes on Bangitout.com.
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