10) You actually read the pamphlet, "In the event of a genuine alert",
issued by the home front command.
9) Your family in the states, who are glued to CNN 24/7, informed you
to
prepare your sealed room long before you heard from your local Israeli
news.
8) As per government instructions, you boarded the bus for work or
university, gas mask in hand. You soon discovered to your embarrassment
that only yourself and school children actually bothered to carry them.
7) You carried your gas mask with you to shul on shabbos. You soon
discovered to your embarrassment that only you and other Anglos actually
bothered to carry them.
6) Due to the aforementioned circumstances you soon abandon the idea of
carrying the gas mask with you all together - seeing this minor defiance
as
a sign of Israeli pride and prowess. Of course, you begin to poke fun
at
your Anglo counterparts who are still walking around with them.
5) If you live in Area A (Tel Aviv region), you took an "extended"
Purim
vacation ... by relocating your entire life to your friends or family in
Yerushalayim or Eilat.
4) If you live in Area C (Jerusalem region) you have no idea what or
where
Area A is-or any area for that matter. And why are your friends in Tel
Aviv
and Ra'nana still walking around with those masks?
3) Your pantry now contains: 123 cans of tuna fish, 56 bottles of water,
and
47 cans of mixed peas and carrots that you've never eaten nor will ever
eat.
2) You are now reading this list from the safety of your parent's living
room in the Five Towns.
1) You realize that the West Bank is now one of the safest places in
Israel.
* Sackler School of Medicine, Tel Aviv
