10. You have as many Chanukiot as there are nights in Chanukah, because each former roommate had a different opinion as to what constitutes a "kosher" menorah.

9. Your mezuzot are installed at the height of your bicep because you've had three roommates who were eight inches shorter than you are.

8. You have a drawer full of benchers from the weddings of people you've never heard of. Some of the weddings took place before you even had the apartment.

7. You have coffee mugs from every college that any of your roommates ever went to, as well as a few schools that no one you know ever attended. In addition, your kitchen cabinets contain remnants from seven different sets of dishes that were left behind by roommates who were getting new china as wedding gifts.

6. You've never been engaged, but you own a wide selection of serving pieces, vases, and other engagement gifts received by former roommates who didn't much care for them.

5. To accommodate the nutritional/medical/religious needs and practices of your various roommates over the years, your refrigerator has contained the following: skim milk, 1% milk, 2% milk, whole milk, Lactaid, soy milk, rice milk, Cholov Yisroel skim milk, Cholov Yisroel 2% milk, orange juice with pulp, and orange juice without pulp.

4. Your cable bill payments keep getting miscredited, because no matter how many times you've told the company, and no matter how many forms you've filled out, the account is still under the misspelled name of someone who was your roommate seven years ago.

3. Several of your favorite CDs are missing, but you have no idea which of your former roommates forgot to give them back, even if you did have everyone's current phone number.

2. You get a message at work that "your roommate called," and you have to think for a moment to remember who that is these days.

1. Your answering machine greeting goes something like this: "You've reached (phone number). If you're trying to reach (former roommate #1), she now lives in (distant city) and can be reached at (phone number). If you're looking for (f. r. #2), she is now (married name) and lives in (distant city); call Information there for her new number. If you're calling to sell wedding services to (f. r. #3), you're too late - the wedding was four years ago. (F. r. #4) has gone back to grad school and can be reached at (phone number). If you're hoping to set (f. r. #5) up with your dentist's nephew, she's already married, and I'm not interested. (Current roommate) has her own phone, so call her at (phone number). There has never been anyone named Jose living here, so please do not leave a message for him. Please do not leave messages in rapid Spanish."