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The Kosher Top 10

Seven Habits of Highly Yeshivish People
by isaac galena

7. Always have a 1985 Kings Dominion or Great Adventure Painters Cap for when going into irreligious settings, namely Shopping malls, Hotel lobbies or, G-d forbid, YU. Keep your Tzitzis and Payus out, no one will recognize you.

6. Always remember to mumble excessively, nothing says Yeshivish like incoherence.

5. Never make eye contact when shaking hands and your grip needs to be as lifeless as possible, giving off the confident impression that you are shaking hands with a highly contagious leper.

4. Using terms like "Boruch Hashem", "Bli Eyin Harah", "Bisiyata Dishmaya", "KalVechomair", "No Shaiychus", "Shtikel", "Bissel", "Al Achas Cama v Cama", "Nebech", "Laybedik", "Machair", "SuchaYenteh", and "Hocker" in excess and completely out of context when answering the formal "What's Doing?" line of questioning is ideal, immediately making all subsequent forms of Loshon Harah in the conversation completely permissible and gratifying.

3. Know every Avenue in Brooklyn and their associated restaurants; know nothing of Manhattan- except the Diamond District, Dougies and Yankee Stadium.

2. You must have a cousin named Shimmy, its an unspoken law.

1. Everyday is Vest day

www.bangitout.com

From Grubba99@aol.com:
- Make sure to use as much screwd up english as possible- In stead of asking "Can i borrow your sefer?" ask- "Your sefer, I can borrow?"

-Wear the see-through white shirts, and make sure they're a few sizes to small ( make sure your sleevless undershirt is noticable)

-When learning, whether you understand what is being said or not, everything can be summed up as "B'kitzur"

-End every question with "yeh?".-for example - "You are gonna be in yeshiva tomorrow, yeh?" 

-Try to call people by their full names, or else call them some yiddish name . (Yankee, Ber)