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The Kosher Top 10
Top Ten Ways to make Selichos Fun
by
bangitout staff
10. Slip N' Slide Selichos (perfect for Hurricane
Isabel 2003)
9. Rapidly hit chest of the person next to
you
8. All you can eat Selichos Sushi Buffet
7. Selichos Def Jam with 50 Cent, Ja Rule,
and Ashanti.
6. They say Vidui, you do Macarena
5. Selichos Speedating
4. Create averiah award ceremony, "Best Supporting Aveirah in a
Comedy Role goes to..."
3. Instead of selichos, tear-jerking AT&T "Reach out"
commercials are screened
2. While repenting, reenact favorite synagogue scandals
1. Confuse Satan, actually say the words
Readers Comments:
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From Robert Katz
Create a shul pool for guessing, how long the "Opening Night" Ashrei & Kaddish will take.
As a shul, the first night of Selichos a.k.a. PMS night (Pizza, Movie, & Selichos)
should be an organized event much like the the annual shul BBQ.
Scare the hell out out everyone by starting the regular early morning Selichos
with a super Chazzanish rendition of the Sat. night version of Ashrei & Kaddish.
From Mitzzvah
How bout skipping them totally or Coed Naked Selichos? (sorry)
Forgive and Forget (selichos)
From Malka & Jessica
Have a sing along kumzitz with Eli Kranzler (Dveykus and Dov Rosenblatt
(Blue Fringe) with a lot of ruach and a lot of hugging
Selichos Slumber Party
Selichos and Salsa Dancing
Selichos with N'sync
From Frieda Shor
1. Bangitout Slichos Contest--See who can klap al chait the hardest--u or ur friend--hard enuf to get CYC(Cute Young Chick) in WS(Womens' Section) to notice you.
2. Spin the I Wronged You Bottle--Whomever bottle lands on has to go over to "It" and say how they wronged them in the last year.
3.Meditation Selichos--cleansing nostril breathing as you say "Ohmmm" and change ur mantra to"I will not worship Starbucks anymore..I shall not worship...."
4. Slichos Pictionary--Aim: Winner draws what they envision hell to b like
5. Slichos Frat Party--Inviting all friends over, getting them nice and drunk, and then asking them if they forgive u for all the gossip u spoke abt them, lied to them and told them they looked swell when they looked like a drowned rat...
From 311 Stylin
ok, sort of funny. your other stuff has been funnier. the one thing i didn't really enjoy was the def jam line. 50 cent and ja rule HATE each other. if they're going to be together, then slichos will be pretty interesting
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