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The Kosher Top 10
Top Ten Signs you are at a Lame Chanukah Party
by
The bangitout staff
10. The Sfuganiot are filled with something, but it sure ain't jelly
9. You get there and it's just you, a plate of latkes, and a guy dressed up as Santa.
8. The music stops until Joe Lieberman rehits the Demo button on the Casio keyboard
7. Menorah looks alot like a bunch of flash lights duck-taped to a car bumper
6. Host generously offers his cigarette as a shamash
5. Party is dubbed 'Saddam Hussaine's Rockin' Eve'
4. Immediately after the candlelighting party breaks into a 2 hour awkward silence
3. Latkes are served in a soup bowl with a ladle
2. The guys in the room have enough grease in their hair to keep a menorah burning all year round. 1. Alas, there was not enough
alcohol to last for even one night..
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From
Robbie
It's April 14th From
Susan
Latkes are shaped into little Christmas trees
You are on your 80th version of singing Al Hnisim
Strip Dreidel
The donuts are filled...with gravy
The chocolate gelt tastes like it really is from Greek times
Party is dubbed "Chanukah for Pyros Party"
You are asked to recline and read the part of the Wicked Son
From
Frieda Shor
1. You steal three pennies from the seven yr.old playing dreidel with you, and
refuse to give them back even as he torches the house with a lit menorah.
2. "Spin the dreidel" doesnt invlove a kiss.
3. The latkes are made of tofu.
4. You light a tree.
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