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The Kosher Top 10
Top Ten Reasons to be a
Kosher Vegetarian
by
S Sloman
10. No
one is offended when you only eat the fruit plate.
9. You
can eat your tofu fried during the meal, instead of frozen
afterwards.
8. Who cares if there's no kosher butcher in your neighborhood?
7. Time to wait until eating dairy: until you're hungry again.
6. Two sets of dishes = Shabbos and weekday.
5. Who cares about the outrageous price of kosher meat?
4. No concerns about shechitah!
3. Life as a kollel man in Israel won't be such a shock, as you're
used to doing without meat!
2. Since you are passing on the bassar, you can focus on the yayin.
1. Two words--buttered challah.
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From
P.E.T.A. People against Eating Traifah Animals
Here are top ten reasons to be a Kosher Carnivore brought to you by
11. You cant hang tofu on your wall for three months and it it when its
gets hard like salami.
10. So when you go out for dinner you can have margiarined bread (two
words ah yes) the 30 oz steak and a fruit plate for dessert
9. You can eat your Chicken Fried during the meal instead of frozen
afterward like the tofu eaters.
8. So you can patronize the local Butcher in your
neighborhood like Romanian.
7. Who Could live without Corned Beef, Roast Beef, Pastrami, and most of
all steak(dont forget Buffalo)
6. So you could laugh at the guy in shul who married a vegatarian
who said she would cook him meat and is stuck with 365 days of
tofu
5. So when you go Israel you could eat at some fine Steakhouses like
Pampas, El Gauchos and Norman's
4. Instead of focusing just on the bassar you could focus on the bassar
and the yayin.
3. K.C. Masterpiece tastes awful with tofu
2. I never heard of a veggie Burger Buddy did you?
1. So you can make fun of the girl who is a vegetarian but is wearing a
fur and leather boots
From Michael Zand, Washington Heights
Ice cream for desert on shabbos.
No more seeing the feathers on your chicken.
From
Shmuel
Five of the ten had direct references to meat. Sorry to say, this was an
amateur job.
From Frieda Shor
1. Feathers should only be in your down cover.
2. Six hours is eternity.
3. Stock in Tums is plumetting.
4. To have to pass up on ice cream would be an udder shame.
5. Its fun to eat tofu that can move on its own.
6. Soybeans make music!
7. "FAVA BEAN NAGILLA"!!!
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