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The Kosher Top 10

Top 30 Succos/ Simchas Torah
Pickup Lines
by : Seth Galena

NEW reader comments

30. Your legs must be tired because you've been Succah-hopping through my mind all night.

29. Succah? I hardly know ya

28. Your father must not have learned Perek Lulav HaGozel, because he stole the stars from the s'chach and put them in your eyes.

27. If I said you had a nice lulav, would you hold it against me.

26. The hashgacha on your esrog says 'Made in Mexico', but I could have sworn you were made in Heaven.

25. I'm Makpid to sleep in the succah. Care to join me?

24. Let's skip the Date palm and go straight to the Date

23. I must be saying Alyenu, 'cuz I think I'm fallen for you.

22. You're the honey to my challah. Can I take a dip?

21. Care to do seven Hakafos around me.. how about under a chupah?

20. Like a Lulav and esrog, we were meant to be together

19. Is your Succah kosher? Cause the only stars I can see are in your eyes

18. Someone who has never witnessed the Simchas beis hashoeva (or a date with me) has never felt joy in his life.

17. Like picking a good lulav, I'm gonna have to check you from head to toe.

16. I like my esrogs round like my….hakafos

15. Succah is not the only mitzvah you do with your entire body.

14. This is the year of Shmitta.....I'm free of charge.

13. You make my Succah posul....because you are all sunshine.

12. Is it hot in this succah? Or is it just you?

11. Ad Kahn, your definitely a Hakafah Aleph in my book.

10. Do you have a map? ... because i'm getting lost in your aravos.

9. If I could rearrange my lulav, I would put 'U' next to V........ I mean me.

8. Trust me, I'll make sure you have a Zman Simchateinu

7. Looking for somewhere to stay? how bout an 8-night stand.

6. In the verse, "You shall dwell in succahs for seven days" the letter "vav" is missing, thus indicating only one succah......your place or mine.

5. The esrog represents the heart of a person. Please don't break my esrog. My achy, breaky esrog.

4. The mitzvah is of Succah is very easy. Are you?

3. Heck, if the Ushpizin enjoy my company, so can you.

2. I see that you are dancing with the Torah. Mind if I cut in?

1. Do you believe in love at first hakafah, or should I circle again?

Please send all comments, questions, and phone numbers to koshertop10 correspondent seth galena

Readers Comments: SUBMIT

Frum: Yisrael Medad, Shiloh:
Re: #1 Top Rejection Succot Pickup Lines,
you might be surprised to know that the Mateh Efraim (1761-1828) wrote (Siman Tav-Reish-Sin [sic!], Sub=Paragraph Vav), that after Hoshana Rabbah davening, pregnant women would take
the Pitam from the Ethrogim of their husbands returning from schule, and say that since "this is the Eitz HaDaa't, I waited until the last day to make it Pasul so as to gain HaNa-ah (pleasure) from the Tree
from which I was prohibited" and the source there is given as Nazir Shimshon.

From Neil Kleid,
you forgot the most obvious one:
"It might be Shemini Atzeret in Shul, but it's Simchat Torah in my pants!"

From Anonymous,
Here are my Top 10 Succos/ simchas torah pickup rejection lines:
10: Make like a lulav and leave
9: Much like this chag, i'm gay
8: I'm busy arranging my hadasim
7: You should've prayed musaf a lot harder if you think that line will work
6: Your'e sooo 2 weeks ago.. go blow your shofar
5: Talk to the "Frand"...Rav frand that is.
4: That pickup line, like a Succah Yavaish, is old and posul.
3: Three Hakafas and you're out.
2: It's Simchas Torah? I thought it just was another West Side Party
1: Two words: broken pitum