10. To enhance mitzvah of Kiddush you replace your shot glass with
a Super Big Gulp cup
9. Suddenly found yourself in the yeshivish clique after three
weeks of consistently slurring your English words
8. Two words: Flask Yomi
7. At the annual "Get rid of your Chametz" party you bring a keg
6. You told the rabbi his speech was "bitchin'"
5. You've gotten all ready for shul when suddenly realized, it's
Wednesday
4 When you wish people good shabbos, they tell you they don't
have any change on them
3 You found yourself in line for shul candy man hoping to score
some breath mints
2 You have no clue what a haftorah is
1. It is the real reason you don't drive to synagogue