Top
Ten
ways you know you're Watching a
Color War Skit
by The Chainik Hocker,
Brooklyn, NY
10) The producer has gone in for the
“ultra-minimalist” look (i.e. two benches from the dining room and a
table is the entire set, representing an airplane, a courtroom, an
operating table, etc.).
9) Cliché number one: Russian bus driver with heavy accent wearing
old wrinkled jacket- must say “Chhhello, my frrrriend!” at least
twice.
8) Cliché number two: African American janitor is the most “bummy”
counselor in blackface, wearing jeans and a t-shirt and speaking in
Ebonics. (Note: in the past five years, this practice has been
outlawed in many camps, due to complaints from the cleaning staff).
7) Cliché number three: Protagonist must attend your camp.
6) There is much gratuitous camper participation, because you get
extra points (Note: when I wrote a color war skit, had all the
campers in my bunk walk on to the stage, hold up a big sign reading
“Gratuitous Camper Participation”, and walk off. If only there was
anyone in the camp who knew what the word “gratuitous” meant).
5) Much of the plot must be stolen from Airplane!
4) Many of the lines must be stolen from The Simpsons, SpongeBob
SquarePants, and the most popular movie of the summer. None of the
head staff will catch the references.
3) There must be many drug references. None of the campers will
catch them. You hope like hell that none of the head staff catches
them, either.
2) Someone must die from eating camp food.
1) The last line of the skit must be “WHOSE GONNA WIN THIS COLOR
WAR?!?!?!??!?!?!?!? (Insert name of team
here)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
