Top 10 Ways to
win the Upper West Side Vote
by Jon "Baal" Kerry
10. Cut food delivery time so that food is delivered
within 25 minutes (with the appropriate number of fortune cookies)
9. Establish rent-breaks for all singles who decided not to
sell their career to the devil (investment banking etc)
8. Guarantee Kiddush with cholent at every shul even in the summers
- establish a 10:30AM minyan
7. Declare a "Bangitout day" in NYC (no alternate side parking!)
6. Send attractive single Jewish lobbyists to mingle in the Westmost,
KeyWest, James Tower, ah heck all buildings north of 90th
5. Create a national fat-free Zomick's meltaway
4. Order all stores/bars/subways in Manhattan to take IOU's on
Shabbos
3. Get an eruv around Central Park (that is checked)
2. Have Subway conductors call out kosher restaurants at each stop
(72nd St, transfers to Dougies, Pizza Cave, Eden Wok, Mike's Place)
1. Make me believe the dream......(that I will eventually get
married)
Readers Comments:
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submit@bangitout.com
: and include the title in the subject header. Include your name and location to
get credit! THANKS
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