Top Ten ways you
know you are a Female Settler
by Judy Freedman, Hashmonaim
10. Your skirt cleans the floor for you as you walk, and
your head scarf does the furniture
9.Your car is held together by “Arutz 7” and “ha’am im hagolan” stickers
8. All your sons have names of three syllables or more
7. You thank the good L-rd on the few days you have water, electricity
and a phone all at the same time
6. You’re friendly with all the Arab neighbors, yet will never let them
near your house
5. The number of kids you have equals the number of times you have been
to mikve
4. Your caravan leaks 3 months of the year
3. On one day in town you have to get the whole family’s teeth done, buy
them all shoes and pants, get the car repaired and the bullet holes
filled in, do that final exam for your teacher’s certificate and be back
by dark
2. None of your relatives want to visit you
1. You shoot better than your husband
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