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The Kosher Top 10

Top 10 things most likely found on a Jewish Resume
by seth galena

9) 3.6+ GPA - Includes 32 A+ credits from Yeshiva in Israel; 10 History of Film classes, and 3 summer semesters at Ramapo

8) Captain, High School Varsity Basketball Team - Didn't actually make team, but bought team jacket and wore it to Great Adventure on chol hamoed Peasach

7) Head Counselor (insert jewish camp here) - Spent countless hours planning your days off and flirting with hot campers

6) Executive Assistant (insert father's company here) - You once dropped off the car for your dad and called his secretary. But have never actually entered his office.

5) Youth Leadership Director, (insert your local synagogue) - Allowed kids to run wild outside of shul, while playing siddur baseball and table football for Stella Dorra cookies

4) Mathematics Tutor, YU - actually you failed your Bio midterm and were the one requesting a tutor, but it sounded smart, so you included it.

3) National Activities Director for Global Non-Profit Organization - Once played a drunken sailor in a NCSY shabbaton shtick contest; Borrowed your older brothers HASC sweatshirt once.

2) Sales Associate - Worked the Camp Morasha Canteen night shift, embezzled tons of laffy taffys

1) Bilingual: Hebrew - Yeh, if speaking Shmone Esray counts

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