Top Ten Other Policies NYC should borrow from Israel
By
bangitout staff
10. Curry-smelling yellow cabs replaced with
cigarette-smelling Mercedes
9. Bodegas now require a "Kent" sign out
front, a non-discreet black-market currency
exchange, and a picture of the Rebbe hanging
somewhere in visible sight
8. Everyone must actually learn English
7. Whatever you do professionally does not
deter you from writing Hi-Tech on resume
6. Recklessly shoving people on the
subway completely understandable and actually
encouraged, as long as it's erev shabbos
5. Restaurants with low scores from the
Department of Health are now considered hot
spots, as long as they offer a real cheap
shwarma lafa sandwiches
4. Bus drivers now must wear black sunglasses
and at one point in their career worked for the
CIA
3. Dance clubs now allow entrance to 16 year
old girls on teen tours so long as they are
accompanied with US soldiers
2. Colors of orange & blue make everyone in
the city a Mets fan
1. Metocard
on one side, Tefillas Ha-derech on the other
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