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The Kosher Top 10

Top 10 ways you know you're an Observant Jew attending a Secular College

by senior secular college correspondent Sarah Galena

10. You get a fake I.D. to purchase alcohol...... for kiddush

9 You spend half your college career at the Hillel/Chabad, and the other half complaining about the Hillel/ Chabad.

8. Your professors begin studying Jewish laws in order to verify that the holidays you tell him you observe actually exist.

7. You tell people you took Hebrew 101 to become closer to your heritage..not to mention closer to getting on Dean's List.

6. You did not want to go to Stern/ YU because you wanted to have more academic options, consequently you are majoring in Psychology, minoring in Jewish Studies.

5. Every time a bomb goes off in Israel there is a speaker lecturing on: "The Middle Eastern Conflict, from an Academic Perspective" by professor Abdul-Rahim, followed by a non- denominational prayer service for peace.

4. Your idea of an intense chavrusa is debating whether you should make a bracha on pot-brownies.

3. Shomer Negiah does not include the hot guy/girl who lives on the same floor as you since he/she is not Jewish or if they are, but you don't intend to marry him/her.

2. You think you are "open minded" because you have one friend who is African American.

1. The Friday night kegger is conveniently renamed "an Oneg".

Please send all comments, questions, and phone numbers to Sarah Galena

Readers Comments: SUBMIT

From qtepie324

From Philip Weintraub:
Top 10 ways you know you're an Observant Jew attending a Secular College should be renamed Top 10 ways you know you're an Observant Jew attending BRANDEIS.—especially the additions by Batya Perach !!!!  This school seems less secular every day I spend there—too many frummies!!!

From sarah herssein
when your non jewish friends look at you funny when you ask to see some
of  the food containers at the school cafeteria.

when a woman swims with a tank top/ T-shirt and shorts on  to be a
little more tznius at the sorority pool parties

even though you hate that shabbos ends so late and you lose majority of
the night, you find yourself  praising God that you didn't have to do
any home work fri. night and sat 


From Walvick@aol.com
Missed a BIG one....
* All your non-Jewish professors are more than accomodating for your observance of Shabbat and Chaggim -- All your Jewish professors schedule the Midterm on the 1st day of Pesach.

From Malischaefer@aol.com
-your japanese friend only has products that are OU and loves krispy kremes.

-your friends leave you shabbos messages by saying talk to you saturday night when they call on thursday

-when they meet someone cute, they always ask , oh are you jewish?

- if you live in toronto, if someone says they live up north you ask them if they are jewish

 
From DANDANT3
thank you that was very funny

From Ellen:
I thought I was the only one who had to deal with this!  LOL - I actually had a senior buy kiddush wine for me.

From Batya Perach
Here are some additions to this list!:

1. 'Shomer negiah' becomes a focal point of articles in school newspapers and magazines.

2. You become known as a "skirtwearer." Of course, it is also assumed that you are shomer negiah and a Jewish Studies (NEJS!) major.

3. Because you are running late one erev shabbos, you forget your long robe in your room and instead, run down the hallway in a towel to the showers, only to see your hallmates' cute boyfriend from YU as you run... you get "even" with him on Simchas Torah when you drop in on the suite he's staying in and he's sitting on the couch in boxers.

4. Campus is dead when you walk to shul Shabbos morning. It awakens three hours later as you prepare for your long-awaited Shabbos shluff.

5. Instead of frat parties, there are Shabbos onegs with divrei torahs and peach schnapps.

6. With two exceptions, the hot young professor that you and the girls in your Sociology class drool over is perfect: all he needs is a bris and a kippah.

7. YULA, MTA, TA, and Skokie Yeshiva are all represented in your 'Sociology of Education' paper titled 'Males Who Went to All-Boys High Schools and their Transition to Co-ed College Environments.' Besides learning oh so so much, its a nice way to meet all the new frum freshman guys.

8. When your friend brings a lulav and etrog to his sister's room before Succos, her roomate remarks how nice it is that he is bringing her flowers.

9. When asked by a prying student, "Are you shomer negiah?" you retort, "Am I asking you about your sex life?" They quickly shut up.

10. You don't have to go "uptown" or "downtown" to see guys or girls; they are everywhere; when you look your worst, and when you look your best.

11. When your freshman roomate asks if her boyfriend can sleep over Friday night, you say yes, until your mother yells at you and says, "Don't you know what they'll be doing?!"

12. Your one non-Jewish friend now wants to convert to Orthodox Judaism.

13. Too bad your downstairs neighbor is Jewish; you can't tell him to stop playing guitar at 3 am Shabbos morning.

14. Guys who spend their free time in the Beis Midrash are secretly praised by all the frum girls as being the masmidim of the campus.

15. Guys from YU come for Shabbos and spend hours debating the neccesity of attending YU over a secular college.

16. Shabbos lunch is eaten in a cafeteria together with people in scrubs who have hangovers.

17. After running from the police who broke up his Friday night party, the random guy in the lounge tells you that he thinks girls in skirts have "a special something" and that he's seen you on the kosher side of the cafeteria.

18. Monday, Wednesday and Friday take on special fleishigs significance.

19. While walking to shul the Shabbos of finals week and spotting the study room of the library filled to capacity, you thank Hashem for this special gift that reminds you that there is indeed life beyond studying.