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The Kosher Top 10

Top Eleven ways to be unnecessarily mehadrin min ha'mehadrin on Chanukah

by senior queenz correspondent Adam Katz

11. Do not eat latkes made from gebrokts until the seventh day of Chanukah.

10. Letting your house burn down as you are makpid not to touch the candles during the first half hour of the mitzvah, even when they've caught fire to the drapes (ain lanu rishus l'hishtamesh bahem ela lir'osam bilvad!!)

9. Use surplus of parve chocolate coins to fulfill both the mitzvah of shaloch manos as well as matanos le'evyonim on Purim

8. Eat twenty krispy kreme jelly doughnuts, then remove shirt l'shaim persumi nisa..publicizing the miracle, of your gut.

7. While travelling by plane, insist on lighting your menorah while flight attendant is serving dinner, and fasten seat belts sign is on.

6. Take a taanis dibbur except to randomly proclaim "mi la'shem aylai" every now and then, (during silent shmonah esrieh is a preferable zman)

5. Eat a shiur's worth of jelly donuts at every meal so you can bentch w/ al hanisim,

4. Celebrate yom haatzma'ut on chanuka so you can actually say hallel with a bracha! (frum!)

3. Be makpid only to use olive oil as replacement for hairgel, lipgloss, detergent, and contact lens solution for all eight days

2. Get your wife a gift certificate and then spend it yourself, to be mikayaim the mitzvah of Eeshto K'guofo. (could be also applicable for daughter's gifts as well)

1. Boycott Winter Olympics along with that Greek salad (feta cheese) they serve at J2 to be mikayaim the inyan of michiyas yavan

Please send all comments, questions, and phone numbers to Adam Katz

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