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10. You find yourself waiting on line to get
into 'standing room only' at Dougie's on Saturday Night.
9. There are no Starbucks or Barnes & Nobles in sight. There are,
however, 5 kosher pizza places within a three block radius.
8. The "Kosher Gym"- need I say more?
7. The only person to respond to your "Good Shabbos's" is the
guy asking for change on the corner.
6. Every other car on the street is a BMW/ Lexus leased from "Malcar".
(Only real Brooklyn aficionados will appreciate that one).
5. There are at least three shuls/shteibel's on every block, but the one
you daven at, is five blocks away from your house.
4. You can find a maariv minyan at 12:27 a.m., and then satisfy your midnight
craving at Bissele's.
3. Every bakery/ and restaurant requires at least three hashgacha's.
2. Finding a parking spot on Ave. J on a Friday afternoon is your week's
biggest triumph.
1. Chicago? Is that the state near Baltimore?
Please send all comments, questions, and phone numbers
to Sara Katz
Readers Comments: SUBMIT
from:
from:
Dani Klein - Brooklyn College, Flatbush, NY
1) You are the only one to use the Flatbush eruv.
2) Going to Boro Park takes at least a half hour during the day.
3) Pizza on Ave. J sucks.
4) You know where to find good Sushi at 1am
5) You know that Flatbush is the only place that has good kosher sushi
6) There are no 'metzios' on the annual Ave. M fair
7) Kings Highway is the 'ashkenaz' / 'sephard' border
8) You know what 'SY' and 'J-Dub' mean
9) The 'goy' on your block wishes you a "good shabbos" more often than the other Jews.
10) There's no school bus service on Jan 1st, but you're not sure why.
11) You were sad when they took away the D train.
12) You dont ask people "where do you go for Pesach", you assume Miami Beach, and ask "where are you staying?"
from:
Yonatan Jacobs
1. You are put in Cherem for carrying within the eruv.
2. Defense Department security experts are unable to penetrate your
shul's mechitza.
3. Every Yeshiva bochur must have a beeper hanging on his belt, right
next to his cell phone and Blackberry.
4. Your parents' small 3-bedroom house with shared driveway can sell
for $750,000.
5. You can't go a day without seeing some 16 year old driving Daddy's
Lexus (poorly).
6. You just know Boro Park girls are even jappier than you are.
7. My shul's mechitza is treif because Rav Moshe said so.
8. My shul's mechitza is kosher because Rav Moshe said so.
9. The Vaad just isn't kosher enough.
10. Food must be Glatt Kosher, Cholov Yisroel, Bishul Yisroel, Pas
Yisroel, Bodek, and Chassideshe Shechita. And that's just the pork.
11. Every wedding reception is separate seating, except for the chatan
and kallah who, for some reason, may sit together. The smorg and the
Viennese table, however, must have mixed pushing and shoving.
12. Sheva brachos may be mixed seating if you have goyish or modern
Orthodox relatives, but the rabbi won't come unless he is in a "separate
seating section."
13. Men who are barely shomer Shabbat wear black hats and raincoats at
their chuppa.
14. Rabbis won't be mevatel Torah by attending the Salute to Israel
Parade, but will attend every political function with Noach Dear or Dov
Hikind.
15. Derech kesef kadma laTorah.
from:
david colman
every teen is wearing a gap sweatshirt.
from:
ephriam shapiro
Nobody "goes to school" but those
who do, "have college."
from:
stuie forgash
- A Lady with a sheitel is driving a GMC
Suburban (that
she barely can see out of) talking on a cell phone and
has three kids in car seats in the back seat (that can
barely be seen through the tinted windows.)
- Everywhere you turn kids in black hats, suit jackets
and sneakers.
- It's December 25th and there is not a Christmas decoration
in sight.
from:
Michael Kolat:
-. 10 shuls/shteiblach on on every block and G-d forbid you daven on one
on
your block.
-. Nobody eats "at" someone's house, they eat
"by" someone's house.
-. Ave. J on Sat. night is Ben -Yehuda Street for 15 year
olds.
1-. Every kid's name ends with y or ie, i.e. Duvie, Malky,
etc.
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