from: Dov Sasson, Reishit 2000
"I dont care who your father is, he is not allowed into Mussar."
from: Schulman's Mother, Reishit- Episode One
Your stuff is really funny, but you left out Schulman on your list of Reishit legends.No more chocolate chip cookies for you. After all he did fulfill the Reishit dream of getting married teaching night seder and moving to Ramat Bet Shemesh. If only he were allowed to have a computer to read this he'd be rolling on the floor.
Keep up the hysterics.
from: Moshe Fishman, Reishit '98-'00
- The words "mamash classic" and "listen I hear it" are now part of your vocabulary
- You have been told more than once (whether directly or Rav Eli mentioned it during mussar and you COULD SWEAR he was TALKING ABOUT YOU) that you are not even a "special olympics jew"; you are merely a slap on/slap off jew.
- The most traumatizing moment for you was that one in shabbos in november when they finally started cracking down on everything and anything. Esp. if this was the week they HAD to catch you walking out of Champs 12 in the morning on a saturday nite (and you still wonder how Rav Donni knew you were in there in the first place), they think you are the one that flushed his "magazine" collection down the drainpipes (as if the dirty tissues strewn all over your floor didn't give that one away), and naturally, Rav Donni still can't get you to get rid of those untznius pictures of your girlfriend on your wall ("I don't care if she's wearing a snake.......").
- Your night seder rebbi has ever called up to say that he's not going to make night seder that night because he's in jail.
- "Speedy" Shai is the biggest genius you ever met and you are still baffled by the fact that he's NEVER been to America in his life and still speaks english with no Israelli accent (ed. note, if this bothers anyone aside from me, please, E-mail me).
- The Ba'al Shem Tov never existed, Chinese are aliens, and Bulgaria doesn't exist. Behold, the GRYB book of revisionist history. In the sequel to his bestselling GRYBle (also known as "The Artscroll Tanach"), Guru Gil publically declares that he is "a bozo who has been brainwashed by the litvish yeshiva who should learn some chasidus, may be good for him" and the GRYB pulls out a 700 page book of blank pages and goes "like this?" (ed. note: based on actual conversation I had with Guru Gil, this was before he broke out the booze).
- Three Simple Words, Avishai Shraga's Horses. 'Nuff said.
- You are STILL trying to find out what the heck Guru Gil is talking about (putting aside popular theory that the drugs addled his brains).
- Moments of Zen: Dogs Copulating outside the Bais Midrash, Rav Eli smoking a cigar in the dorms, the first time Rav Eli mentioned you by name during his thursday nite mussar routine, the Reishit Casino, that night on Ben Yehuda when you finally realized "this is boring, I'm hitting the bais midrash".
- Reisheet Happens
- You marvel at the fact that the Darchai Bi'ah girls think that Rav Segal is the funniest Rabbi in the world.
- You actually get any of the above.
from: Jeff Taub, Reishit 96-97
Love your work - Hope these are worthy...Thanks!
You know that you went to Reishit if...
1) You got at least two punches thrown at you during early-check-in at El-Al
2) You learn loud enough for everyone to hear you
3) You come back from breakfast and seven guys are still davening shmoneh esrei, but not wearing tzizis
4) Night seder includes swapping racist jokes with a shana bet chevrusa and listening to hours of his high-school stardom stories
5) You think that not being from New York makes you special.
6) You still owe Lev $30 shek for LBFL cursing fines.
from: shimon zlotnick, Reishit
1.The day ronson comes to yeshiva is bigger than Yom kippur and we kmust
miss shiur to clean up.
2.when u know cant stop singing "odd d'lo yada" on purim and cant stop
saying how your Rebbe is a "freakin goan"
3.hail to the GRYB!!!!!
4.you have seen the GRYB's great mussar impression on purim.
5.When u went mudsliding, and went on crocidile mile infront of the
building when there used to be grass there.
from: Moishe Schmerler Gabbai, Reishit, '96-97
1) Two words: Silber bullet
2) Splashing the Rova Kids with a fire hose from your Porch.
3) Learning till 3 am on Thursday nights, After coming back from town
4) Racmana L'Tzlon
5) Lev
6) "George"
7) You will marry a different girl if you went there.
8) Hiking on a mountain after visiting the wine factory
9) "Vasykin"- I slept late
10) Hail to the GRYB He's Mosiach
from: Dov Sternberg Reishit, '94-95
Great list, i couldn't stop laughing:
Here's one:
Throwing eggs at your own dorm is ok as long as it's on holoween
from: Robert Schneider Reishit, '00-01
- You know you didn't make an impact on the Rabbi's when at the end of the
year the Rabbi's speak about you, and it sounds like someone completely
different, you realize they know absolutely nothing about you.
- Rav Eli says: "you know i dont say this often but this years shana
aleph/bet is the best in Reishits history". This and how many other years?
- The Purim Mussar was just an excuse for the Rabbis' to get drunk.
from: Joel Orgel Reishit/OJ, '94-'95
-You were always interested in the girls from Maon Seminary even though they had Euro armpit hair
-You primarily used the CD player in the Beit Medresh library to listen to the new Mettalica release
-The Refrigerators in each room had one purpose - chill the $3 bottles of Lemon
Wodka
-You are very familiar with liver balls as the "Break the Fast" entree on Tisha
Baav
-You are used to the "Angel" Challah on Shabbat being harder than the Western Wall
-Can anyone say "Bonfire" in the hallways, nightly?
-Have no problem scribbling black ink all over Dani Weinstock in his drunken
stupor
-Fatal knives thrown into doors, does anyone have a problem with that?
-Showering only once a week is totally encouraged
from: David Aminoff Reishit, '96-'97
First of all I would like to thank the people who wrote this, it
brought tears to my eyes and and smile to my mouth.
my additions:
1) Being chased around the rova by Jeff Seidel 2 in the morning the first month of yeshiva.
2) Launching eggs off the balcony the first month of yeshiva and
nailing a moving car several times.
3) holding a safer in the Rova to show every girl that walks by that you
are shtark
4) Reppelling off the staircases
5) Preaching to Rav Donni and the rest of the yeshiva the whole year ,
how persians are the SUPERIORS ONES in the world.
from: Isaac Galena
Felt the need to add:
The only word that lends any legitimacy to the yeshiva: Shmelk. -
who fondly credits his completion of 30 mesechtas and 3:00am learning seders to " life-threatening dreaded fear of entering dorms."
from: Josh Berliner Reishit '01-'02
-if you find yourself sneaking back to new york for the weekend to bring back dougies, only to blow your own cover because you called Rav Eli and asked him if he wanted anything(and didnt get kicked out!)
-if any story told by Rav Doni involving the old city, karate, and doody is "CLAAAAAAASIC!!!!"
more from:"Nitz" Reishit '94-'95,
Here are a few more..reading the last ones made me do some soul searching to
find these..but first, Weinstock is a legend. Any guy that spends more money
on beer (for the whole yeshiva) than the price tag for tuition
has to be considered a legend. Burg, the only legend he has, well, I can't
even think of one.
- Every person seems to have a nickname, if not, they couldn't have gone to
Reishit.
- Holtz mentioned Rav Dani getting engaged..nuff said...I say, "Rav"..nuff
said!
- What really went on in that back office?
- Rav Jay coming with many duffle bags with packages from ever parent...do
you think he answered honestly when El-Al, (or Al-El) asked "Did anyone give
you anything to take with you?"
- Your bagel going into the toaster plain, and coming out with poppy
seeds..that moved!
If only they could see now...and You know, I will once again make mussar for
these comments..its on to AC for a reishit reunion..maybe I will miss him if
I go to Ballys?
from:Daniel Burg, Reishit '94-95, '95-'96,
1.)"I SAY WE TAKE THEM BACK TO THE DORM AND TAKE TURNS WITH THEM"
2.) brondfelds cave
3.)WEINSTOCKS SPENDING SPREES
4.)HEY HEY HEY HEY
5.) BETSY THE COW
the guys who make the list make the legends
from:Uriel T. "Judko" Yudewitz, Reishit '96-'97,
Dear bangitout.com staff,
I cannot remember what yeshiva I went to Israel maybe you can help me figure
it out:
Let me tell you about my roomates. One was a knive collecting, mishmar
ezrachi patrolling, army lifer who scared me daily. the other two where
boston guys. I remember a day when the food was so bad on succot that the
entire yeshiva got up and went to hot burger. I recall (vaguely) some
midwestern hick by the name of goonsh or ganja or something who could lecture
me on how much cake i need to eat for me to wash and say hamotzi or what the
latest they might be giants cd was all about. Then i had these two chevrusas,
twins to be exact, reminded me of oompa loompas. Oh those were the days. If
anyone knows what happened to Avi Levenblack he still owes me money! And last
but certainly not least, I have started a home cleaning service by
successfully cloning dna from rat boy and creating an entire army of cleaning
(and theiving) rat boys. Now all I need is a Durgam to ru the show.
And someone please say hi to that special place in all of our hearts, Reishit
Stadium (the beit midrash, what were you thinking?).
See you all at the next Reishit reunion or the Gryabaton whichever comes
first!
Uriel T. "Judko" Yudewitz
from:RICHIE "T" FROHLICH Ruach Coordinator, Reishit '95-'96,'96-'97,
First off like evreyone else I must say that this list is great, I almost
miss ants crawling on my face when I sleep and wakeing up to find ants in my
food and in my clothing. (for all you new kids, we were in the old dorms, not
the new palace)
- Nothing beat the LBFL!!! (savitz im talking to you)
- 2 time toilet bowl champs.
- My roommate getting arrested and the mishtara ransacking my room.
- Mook fighting with Sokal every morning to wake up. Its still hard for me to
wake up without it.
- your chavruta with Mook took place twice the entire year bec. someone always
had a life and death issue to discuss with him. (what yalmukah should I wear?)
- Shana Bet guys giving mussur all day, while never making it once to afternoon
seder. oh wait, that was me.
- every person in yeshiva made at least 5 siyumim, interestingly enough, no one
understands hebrew.
- One of the shana bet guys not going on the shana bet shabbatton bec he hated
all of us frum fakers. only to meet us on the bus on the way home. (you know
who im talkin to)
- Rav Segal telling us if we went to YU we wouldnt be frum. Hey he was right.
- Rooming with the Bangitout king, Seth Galena. (shana bet)
- staying up all night to see Tom Brokaw broadcast live from the old city (was
that just me)
- Eilat after pesach. great idea.
- Judah standing up in the bies medrash doing jim carry.
- Hiking 40 miles for chicken.
- AND The Frohlich mentioned in the Finkelstien Comments is NOT RICH FROHLICH.
there were 2 frohlichs, no relation. (by the way,anyone seen Doni Frohlich
recently)
- If you think Chocalate spread is part of a healthy breakfast.
- Sokal pledging to learn 1100 hrs, 300 blat gemara and 6 sidre mishna.
- Finally you know you went to rieshit if you are still...... Single!!!!!
from:Elisha Blechner, Reishit '96-'97,
1. You write for bangitout.com
2. Renting Prince of Egypt was the most torah you learned in months
3. Rat boy wearing your clothes
4. The p-wall
5. Shower canal
6. Rav (?) Dani
7. Every year, shannah aleph kids are smarter and frummer than shanna bet.
from:"HOLTZ", ezra berenholtz, Reishit '94-'95,
1) Friday night at Guru Gils house drinking alcohol you have never heard of and never remembering because you were so sick
2) the galena shmoneh esrey footbal dance
3) rav Jay doing his stage dive
4) rav Ari jumping off a cliff into the water in the Golan
5) Shabbos in Tzefas with Michlala after they waited the whole year not to
come to the Sephardic Center because the Rebbeim were afraid of the Reishit
guys
6) Rav Elie leading the dancing on Purim
7- Rav Aris caramel and hot jelly doughnut tour of Mea Shearim on Chanuka
8- Rav Donny getting engaged, nuff said
9- "chicken feed and dance " in the madrich room
10- getting arrested for "trying to blow up the Mosque" and being part of
Kahane Chai
from:The Katzker Rav, Adam Katz, Reishit '94-'95,
-First of all, let's get this straight: At best, burg and weinstock are only
legends in their own minds.
-Chadar Ochel protocol: "kol echad echad"
-neon, radioactive rice
-fighting oer the rationing of insufficient Crystal coke supply on shabbos
-the rabbeim taking you to brooklyn bake shop as a ploy so that you'd get
them cake from there when you were invited for shabbos
-the dorm was a modern day chanukah miracle: it was ablaze for many days in a
row!
-all the rova store signs and a supersol wagon could be found in your dorm
room
-when making pizza in your own house you still use an eye dropper to dole out
the sauce just like at Rami's!
-there is nothing strange about a frum asian woman selling falafel to you
-there is no dress code for davening on yom kippur
-ad hayom hazeh, you savor the exquisite taste of 6 shekel "wodka"
-you only learned on thurs nites, if muffins were present.
-the only mitzvah fulfilled all year was eating all day on erev yom kippur
-making your own tzitzis (which were prob passul anyway) for an entire month
exempted you from going to seder day and nite
from:Eric Pinkis Derrick!, Reishit '95-'96,
Fellow Reishit alum and Bangitout.com readers,
Reishit must be the greatest men's yeshiva! Has any yeshiva yet to make it on Bangitout.com? I am sure guys from Mevaseret, Kotel and others are scrambling to present their pieces and illustrate their memories. We may have lost almost every single Football game but we got on Bangitout.com first!
Here are my personal additions
-Your Ruv allows you to see the World Series at a bar but you cannot tell the other students.
-Your Ruv secretly steals all your Cleveland clothes and mocks as Purim shtick.
-Your Rebbim allows you to go to Egypt, tells you all the hot spots (casinos) and just reminds you to bring something back for him.
-Your fellow students get into a fight with a big Russian and the whole school is ready to beat him up with hockey sticks and bricks. Who cares if there were Mishmar Hagvool (Israeli army border guards) present.
-Your Reishit basketball team can make the playoffs if the Yeshiva cancels a tiyul. They don't, you forfeit the game and your season is over.
-Your school mysteriously follows all Neve fights?
-You take a sling shot, so powerful and big that three people must operate it. And try to shoot little apples through a neighbors window. Only to have the apple hit their window and thus having the sling shot taken away. We got it back a couple weeks later.
-You fondly remember...............
-Brian Jacobs tanning everyday in the Rova.
-The Galenas imitating the Barber twins of the NFL in Israel tag football.
-Rafi Lahav showing up to shiur.....Night Sedar?
-Gonsh's nude swimming.
-Half the dorm Tri-State residents, the other half the rest of the world.
-Getting to carry M1 rifles and showing off to all the girls going to the Kotel.
-The only computer for use in the yeshiva used for computer games, email, internet and meeting girls???
-Having showers that came into good use in the morning.
-Taking Ruv Dani's entire dorm room and putting outside in its original positions.
-Weird Chicken hex in Ruv Dani's dorm room?
-Dani Weinstock's air conditioner. One problem-ice.
-The continuous beautiful South American girls staying at the Sephardi center-we all wished, but nothing granted.
from:Jason Finklestein Reishit '95-'96, '96-'97, smicha tanner
As always Brilliant, Hilarious and accurate. But a few additions
Rafi Lahav learning Nach
Knowing every rova girl with an English accent by her first name
Finkelstein ends up in smicha
Shanna bet guys giving mussar seder while still getting drunk in town
and hitting on every girl
Shammis "Booger wall"
Galena foot odor
Frolichs Mystery smell (wearing the same clothes ALL year)
wondering all year why jon morgenstern came??
Shanna bet only equals a year and a half everywhere else
Thinking Rav Blachman makes us legitimate
Last night in Israel was 10 minutes at the kotel and then 10 polish
butterflies
Not knowing being frum means on vacation as well
After 1 month the whole place talked "GALENA"
choosing reishit b/c of trips to the beach... later finding out it was
seperate
House and midget tossing
Thinking "there are no contradictions in judaism" is L'chatchilah
Seth G learning consisted mostly of making " theme sound track Tape"
Black hat means better shiduach and less learning
needing Brian J to stop us from going into the underground
from:Alec Botnick Reishit '94-'95, jogger
Thanks for the list it made me reminiscent all day. I didn't know Reishit
was still around. I thought that akin to the relationship that Rutgers - New
Brunswick has with Rutgers - Newark, Reishit is now Yeshivat Shaari Mevasert
Zion - South.
By the way, who are these people that regard Burg and Weinstock as
"legendary?"
- Alec
from:Noach Bernstien Reishit '96-'97, '97-'98 and forever man.
Firstly reading this brought a warmth to my heart, a huge smile to my face, and yes, even a tear to my eye...and now for my supplemental additions.
1-you were too"nice" for Neve and too "Ashkanazi" for BMT.
2-you had one rabbi who recieved smicha from Reb Shlomo Carlebach, and one rabbi who believes that the Baal Shem Tove never existed.
3. on Purim you dressed up like a Brovenders Chick and ran around all day with a Gemara....which of course you didnt know how to read.
4.You were proud to say that you saw every town brawl but only as a specator.
5.night seder consisted of reading an Akiva Tatz book, and leaning on the shulchan while pilpuling with Rav Elie over which Star Wars movie was the best.
6. Succos - Pesach ...getting drunk every night in town
Pesach- Shavuos...getting drunk in the dorms
7. hearing Rav Ari attack you for thinking about spending the summer in a co-ed camp....while later on that night Rav Elie recruits you to go with him to Moshava for the summer.
8.You and your roomates deside to live together in Y.U. only now one of your roomates doesnt trust your kashrus while the other one doesn't keep kosher.
9. You knew the Midreshet Harovah girls as "The Rova Rats"
10. You know Rav Jay Marcus as that guy who brings you donuts every couple months ..."Thank you Big Daddy"
11. Any sickness and stomach pain that one goes through in Israel can all be cured by Durgam's special tea.
from:Ari Kadish Reishit '96-97,
(1) First, let me just state that I bought Rav Doni the 4 gallon bottle of
wine that he mistaked for his new born daughter and dropped into a pie on
Purim.
(2) Second, you know you are in Reishit when you are eating rice in the
Sephardic center and you notice the rice is moving. Following a Rav Segal
diatribe about not eating animals you realize that worms are totally edible
and dammit if Avrum "Schwarma" Leader can eat... so can I.
(3) Third, you know are in Reishit when you have a life changing epifany
that can be summed up in these breif words.. "You know what I hate, Mimes.
(4)Fourth, you know you are in Reishit when sanitation consists of throwing
your garbage into the haul so it can be scweegeed down the stairs by two
very clean young arab men and picked over by rat boy.
(5) LEV BRUDNOY need anyone say anymore.
ADK
from:"Nitz" Reishit '94-'95,
This was absolutely one of the funniest, and most accurate lists, on the site. The best part is that they are so true that they are the same year to year. I got the biggest laugh from the Reishit Reunion one, meeting a rebbe in AC. You must add though that the casino of choice is the Claridge, and he only came down b/c he took a ride with a friend!
Here are some more:
-Shulman and the making of the Reishit video..if he could only erase that tape today.
- My phone scam tape played on purim, and Rav Ari pulling the plug after hearing me say to the dancing and tennis instructor "We should play with each other, you bring the rackets, I'll bring the balls."
- "It's not what you think, it's not coffee"
- The Rova cops allowing Reishit members to join and actually giving them loaded guns to patrol the streets.
- One word- "TURDS"
Joshua Gonsher, Reishit '95-'96, '96-'97
you know who "the kickboxer" is
I thought I was the only one who had a crush on the office chick. And that one time, in town, when Brian Jacobs went over to the "office chick," and she said, get this, "Ani lo office girl!" Ha ha.
you know how far a "buddy" chocolate pudding can fly in a slingshot
you loved that ancient "seat" in the rova
two words--HOT BURGER!
two MORE words--REISHIT STADIUM
(Frimer and me--38 aleph bus tours)
gonsh
Avi Kaplan, Reishit '95-'96, '96-'97
dude that was one of the funniest things i've ever read!!!!
But u left Shulman and Lauber off your list of legends.
-how about the fact the none of your roommates are ever from the same state
ut you know them all from camp..either morasha or moshava.
-Guys from mir would come to learn and end up out-smoking us.
-You don't actually have to learn as long as you say that you really want
to.
-You had fight the cheder kids to play football in reishit stadium
-Gan hapa'amon roller hockey was more cavuah then afternoon seder
-I'm sure there was something funny about purim...but i don't remember what
-All your friends crashed by you for succos and pesach because their yeshiva
became a hotel
-You made your own wine
-You pretended to call your mom by the rova phones so you could hit on
british chicks
-The marcus' tried to get you to go to camp hasc
-You never won a league football game
-You would never enter the part of the dorm known as harlem
-Your makom was the spot in the rova you felt you could the best tan
-Rosie thought she was your mother
-You always ate in a different dining room becuase there was always a tour
at the sphardic center from some random south american country
-Only the coolest kids got to hang out in the back office
-mount sokal!!!
-You went to every political rally but had no idea what it was for.
-Every marcus had at least one kid while you were there.
-You signed up for shmira because you thuoght they'd let you carry a gun.
Raphi Savitz, Reishit '96-'97
brilliant!
got a couple more for you:
1) if you helped put Tony's kids through medical school
2) if you considered reishit stadium a home field on par with lambeau field
3) if you can learn for a half hr during pesach vacay, and end up watching
movies at your rebbei's apt
4) if one of your rebbeim calls a 4 gallon bottle of wine by his daughter's
name, then ends up passed out in a bathtub
5) "who wants chicken?"
6) if your rebbaim shave a talmid's head during a chaim david concert
7) "you just finished shaas, hotburger!"
