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The Kosher Top 10

Top 10 ways to be annoying on Shabbos on the UWS
written by seth galena

10. You respond to a meal invitation one minute before shabbos saying you are coming, and bringing 4 friends...all guys.

9. As shul exits, you stand directly in front of the steps at OZ. Then, try to make eye contact with everyone other than the person you're speaking to.

8. You completely ignore the person you met last week at a shabbat meal by acting like you're looking for someone else.

7. You completely ignore the person you fooled around with last week by acting like you're looking for someone else.

6. When your host is cutting the challah, you feel it necessary to make a dumb joke during the silence.

5. To seem more frum, you goto the West Side Kollel for shabbat day, only to get there late and talk nonstop about going to the Jewish Center afterwards.

4. You promote your Saturday night party during laining.

3. The only torah you hear all week is the Rabbi's speech, which no matter the topic, you trash after davening.

2. You don't introduce your friends to new people, on purpose.

1. Interrupt all perfect would-be matches with term "Ready to go, yet??"

From Jesse.Ackler:

-Shoosh everyone in the back row during minyan, then stand idly by while your toddler throws a tantrum in the back row.

-Isn't there a no-kid policy at the YPM? If not there should be!  How about a personal hygiene policy?

-Invite a friend with you for lunch,  just don't tell him you will be eating with an elderly couple and their middle aged unmarried children.

-When someone asks you what you do for a living, respond something other than Accountant, Attorney, Social Worker, PT, OT, Teacher, Financial Analyst (Consultant), Programmer or Psychologist. They will have no idea what you are talking about, and will wonder if you are truly "frum".
 
 

From Sherrie Neustein, tufts med BIO support group pres.

heres another way to be annoying:

when you pass others on shabbos, whether you know them or not, actually say  good shabbos to them! It will totally confude them and they'll wonder what you're up to!

From Suzanne S:
- When hosting a shabbos meal, you insist on playing getting to know you games
and discussing favorite cartoon characters.

- You rub up against people for kicks at OZ on Friday night.

From Stephen Gruber:
- You are the only guy not wearing a blue shirt.
- carry on a conversation on the stairs, when shul lets out.

From Dave Kessler::
1.  Your roommate is the Jewish Center Gabbai and wakes you up every shabbos am to go with him at 8:45am............. EXCEPT any time you REALLY need to be at shul.

2.  Every time you try to sing Shir Ha'malot at lunch, someone starts another song, making the meal last until 5 minutes before Mincha.  (definition:  NO SLEEP!)

3.  You daven with MJE, then take your choulent form Kiddush out to the Parallel Minyan just to taunt everyone.