15. Shavuout comes every year, star wars come only 6 times in your life
14. Darth Maul is less scary than the guy sitting next to you in shul who
stayed up all night drinking orange soda
13. Watching a movie causes less eye strain than learning Gemara (of
course, you have glasses anyway)
12. Natalie Portman is much hotter than any girl in shul-- plus she's
Jewish! (it's true!)
11. Star Wars brings back happy memories from childhood, while staying
up all night on Shavuout gives you bad flashbacks to that Shavuout in
high school you stayed up all night studying for your American History
AP.
10. Watching the Star Wars geeks at the front of the line have a light
saber duel are much more entertaining than watching the Galena brothers
fight over who gets the last red Mike 'n Ike.
9. Yoda = a Rabbi, so technically you are fulfilling your obligation of
learning.
8. Cause boba fett is more interesting than baba kama
7. Ruth may have been the ancestor of King David, but Natalie Portman
not only has the child that saves the universe, but also wears
entertainingly skimpy outfits!
6. Darth vader wears a black hat! What could be bad?
5. Girls, who shouldn't be learning anyway, can get a good lesson from
seeing Amadala's large collection of fancy Shabbos robes and sheitels.
4. You can be oleh l'regel to Tatooine, which is clearly meant to
represent Israel.
3. R2D2 & C3PO = modern day Hillel and Shammai
2. Important lessons you can learn about Judaism from watching Star
Wars:
- It doesn't matter how short you are as long as you are really
really smart.
- Women should never be in leadership positions. It always leads
to death threats and fighting.
- Beware of yichud!!! It will lead to inappropriate behavior, even
if it is an older girl babysitting for a boy. (see: Anakin and Amidala)
- The women who will make the best wives are not blond shikes
(see: Fisher, Portman a.k.a. Hershlag)
- Just because you were an immaculate conception, doesn't mean
you're not evil.
- You should always dress tzniusdic, but in cases of warfare and
rescue operations pants are permitted (but ask a Rabbi first)
1. Oh please, like you're really going to stay up all night
learning!!!!!!
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