10. You get there at borchu, and there's still no minyan.
9. Guy sitting next to you passes out from heat exhaustion (in Spring and
early Fall)
8. Three hour speech praising the donation of a siddur to the Minyan
7. It's standing room only (even though the first three rows are empty)
6. Wondering why they need 2 Gabies if the same 2 people daven every
week.
5. You would give half your kingdom to have a beverage at kiddush which
doesn't come from fermented grapes
4. You are trying to follow laining while simultaneously balancing 15
siddurs on your lap
3. You assume that there will be a short 3-on-3 basketball game after
services
2. You are upset that all the hot girls are in the beginners Minyan next
door
1. Sermon focuses on the most important issue currently facing our people:
Bangitout.com.
 Readers Comments: SUBMIT
Greenfield's expose is brilliant and riveting, raw and disturbing . .
.
Rarely has such a modern writer, with pen and ear so finely-tuned to
post-modern New York, written such a classic work. . . A must-read for all
who want to understand the 21st century.
- Peter (Ephraim) Friedman, vicarious
wanna-be
Old York Times Review of Books
From Riverdale G:
Hemm Hemm,excuser moi not all the hot girls sit in the beginners minyan.
riverdaleG- former model
From Seth Galena:
- You run up 5 flights of stairs only to realize the minyan is on the
first floor this week (happened to me)
- Is it AskWendyD @ hotmail or yahoo?
- The youth leadership committee should be made to wear top hats.
- To be gabbai, start from the bottom (as kiddushguy) then work your way
up, or just get into party promoting
- Like the Rabbi, your minhag is to sit for beginning of sermons, stand
for kiddush.
- You spend all of laining not analyzing the parsha, but rather the Rabbi
Soleivechick Dvar Torah
- You miss getting flyers about Saturday night parties from the past
Gabbaim
- All the shul's a stage....and we are just daveners in it. (1st floor)
- Trivia: where is the pool in JC?
- Ain MJE cholent, Ain Minyan
- I want to see a Young Professional Minayn (OZ) vs. Parrallel Minyan
(JC) Hardcore Brocha Bee, or gabbai tagteam wrestling match. Now
that I would pay 365 buck for.
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